Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML
Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML
Today, I went to drop my little brother off at the nursery. As I walked in, a boy punched me in the dick and ran away. FML
Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML
Today, I snuck up on my girlfriend to give her a kiss. Only after I planted a big one did I realize it was not my girlfriend, or even a girl for that matter. FML
Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Exactly which cheek did you kiss? Because that makes all the difference.
BionicIce 9
I would have slapped that kid
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Comments (76)
BionicIce 9
I would have slapped that kid
thestoryofacaleb 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
He's just being protective. Honestly it's not that big of a deal. OP probably laughed about it
fuckpotato 12
I'm a ******* girl and I know that getting rammed in the nuts is a huge goddamn deal for dudes. Nothing about doubling over in pain to the point of vomiting is "funny".
killerlol 12
OP would've probably cried because of the intense pain in his left nut.
epicgamer 18
it's nice to see a woman who understands, almost any other would say, UGH MAN UP ITS NOT THAT BAD.
LyricaSilvan 30
Considering he posted an FML about it, I highly doubt he felt like laughing about it.
deathrise007 22
"Do you have games on your pho-"
bella_nana347 23
I feel like the reaction depends on the age. Some really little boys (5-6) might think that the kissing is wrong and not know that headbutting OP was not a good thing to do. If he's older, then he should know better and its totally okay to be upset. I still don't think that slapping a child is the answer though.
Brandi_Faith 34
Plot twist: the brother is 19
DarkAngelsBlade 25
Basing this on height for a kid to charge head first into the average guys crotch he'd have to be around 7-9 unless the angle he did it was terrible. Either way, why would his kid think kissing is wrong but ramming full force into someone isn't? Also as far as slapping the kid, that really depends on the kids track record. If he does this often or a lot and normal talks aren't working actually feeling something close to what he's dishing out could be a viable option. My sister was a biter but once my mom but her back after she nearly took a chunk out of me -indents and bruises for a week- she stopped. Most of this is really situational though so I hope we get a op reply.
hamiltonma 22
Run away now. I see this happening again in your future haha
TheKingOfHearts 19
HA, GOT EEM!
IDontKnowaName73 17
What a brat.
bella_nana347 23
Maybe he's just little and doesn't know that this isn't acceptable behavior because he hasn't really done it before.
iamahappypenguin 14
I'm pretty sure his parents/sister miss him on the cheek when he was little or probably still.
Welshite 40
Exactly which cheek did you kiss? Because that makes all the difference.
PePziNL 20
I'd imagine the difference is not in the cheeks, but in the set of lips you kissed.
ColorOfSoul 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What?! I need to know, please explain...
TommyGunGO 10
The one that wouldnt get me stabbed by her dad.
DarkAngelsBlade 25
Mouth lips and vaginal lips. Those are the two sets of lips.
PuppiesKisses 19
Eek imagine what would have happened if he caught you making out.
JKPwnage 27
BREAKING: Teen Boy Stabbed To Death By Girlfriend's Younger Brother
amvoisard 7
I don't know who got it worse...the boyfriend in pain or the girlfriend red with embarrassment.
Tripartita 45
I'll give you a hint: it was the one who got headbutted in the nuts.
TAntobella 14
What a jerk. Hope the family punished him hard. But let me guess, they had a laugh and justified him saying some irresponsible crap like "kids will be kids".....
TommyGunGO 10
Well the high-five from the dad to her little brother definitely wasnt the highlight of my day!
bella_nana347 23
I mean, definitely punish him, but not so severely that he just gets mad and doesn't realize he's wrong. Teach that that's not okay. Don't just punish him
vikky538 29
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well she didn't tell you that a RAM is protecting her!!
upgradestorm1 20
That is the worst pun i have heard in a long time
nickie_94 18
While he was clearly trying to protect his sister, his actions were over the top. Child or not, that's not okay.