Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML
Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML
Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML
Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
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Top comments
canadian_ftw 8
whenever an FML says 'I tried to be funny...' it's like an instant YDI.
cufaoil 11
well, you were acting like a dick, OP
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Comments (110)
XxToroxX 0
you had it coming :P
emilymaeve 8
You only had yourself to blame
x143iloveyoux 0
haaaaaaa. you so deservedd that one buddy boy(:
Tuskenraider501 0
well at least she touched your dick op lol
austin_is_me 9
Unless it was small
sallen0046 4
You should have enough sense to realize that if something isn't going to be funny if someone did the same to you, it isn't going to be funny when you do it to them. YDI for acting like a 12 year old, especially considering you were out walking and not even in a private, intimate setting where such play could possibly be seen as cute.
ThisRandomChild 0
Im a chick, id have laughed my @$$ off if my bf did that to me
arachnophile 13
Yes but by using "@$$" you're likely also of the 12 year-old mentality.
machiko_fml 0
Hahah. She really got you there.
wonderful_wendy 0
looks like it wasn't to funny.
mintcar 10
Being slapped in the crotch isn't as painful as being kicked. Or is it considered the same to men?
Perplex_fml 2
it's close to the same
traze 7
indeed.
Draminicaus 0
I dunno about that one. In highschool, my class used empty pop bottles as weapons to deliver quick, soft taps to unsuspecting daddy-bags. It'd put you on the ground, to say the least. lol
krishawk33 4
ytdi
LemonStarship 5
It's ok OP just think about the sandwiches.
ImFreeFalling 0
Here we go with all of the "get back in the kitchen/make me a sandwich" comments. The guy was being a dick. He deserved it. The girl should be telling him to go make HER a sandwich. YDI.