Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he stopped and got dressed. Naked and confused, I figured he’d be right back. Yeah, 20 minutes later with a plate of food for himself. So much for sex. It would've been nice if he told me though. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML
Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML
Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn't have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said, "I can't do this any more" and pulled out. After repeatedly asking him what was wrong, he basically told me that I suck in bed. Apparently, the way I "just lie there" makes him feel like a necrophile. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
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Top comments
daniisme 0
deuche much?
lynsieloowho 0
wow. kick him in the nards
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Comments (213)
daniisme 0
deuche much?
strandedinalimo 0
This is seriously one of the most asshole-ish things I've read on FML. You need a new boyfriend ASAP.
penpal33 7
@strandedinalimo: - I agree with you
MrMaD_fml 2
stranded, you look like a younger version of Angie lopez, from the George lopez show...
r0g3r16 0
haha o shit she kinda does look like her
shakenbake93 0
Once again, how do all of the assholes get girlfriends?
bibblz 0
^ totally agreed all girls go out with the gerks instead of the sweet/ caring guys
elvgar 0
^^i kno its so stupid my ex left me for a jerk who is really weird
Jrook 0
chivalry is dead... because women killed it. sure I could be nice to women, but what's the point? if I'm nice or sweet I'm weird, whipped, or creepy. I'm more likely to get a gf if I treat women like shit.
Enoch134 0
@jrook your 100% right i am a man of honor and when i asked a pal of mine he didnt even know what chivelre was. best part is wemon nag about their bfs being jerks and who do they nag to.... a nice guy who cares to listen to them
silvereyedpuma 0
....and you still call him your boyfriend??????
Yee12 0
Make him a sammich
mattbeverly 0
now go make him a sandwich
MightyMike2509 0
dude I was thinking the same thing! Angie is fineeeeee lol.
metalhead256 0
@shakenbake93 yea i agree with you the assholes get good gf's and we get the *****/bitches
QueenPersephone 9
This is where you have a good laugh ridiculing him for having a tiny hangy-down, leave him, and find a real man. If you're pathetic enough to take that bs ydi. If women like you would stop acting like you enjoy being treated like shit guys like him wouldn't exist.
lazaruz 0
well said my friend
wheatie 0
agreed. to all the boys saying we only like jerks, that's bs because I can't stand people like that, and I would rather have a sweet guy, who I can tell anything to.
iazy9 14
【imma caring guy but my relashonships never last why? my gfs have ridicilosly high standards or they just get sick o' me FML
apfunction 0
well girls have a funny ******* way of showing it then, don't they?
jdee22 2
obviously you're still young, becase as you get older you see that women have then realized what it is they were missing when dating the jerks, and start dating the nice guys. yes girls when they're teens/ early 20s want the bad boy. but again, when they grow up and get over themselves they look for the nice guy who is usually already taken. just wait- your time will come!!
theian01 3
Were you a dead fish lover? Because that would suck for him...
Soybean254 0
it's funny tht you guys say that... I recently found out that my friend likes me AFTER she got pregnant with her loser ass boyfriend lifes a bitch isn't it? maybe I should make that as an FML haha
cuntwaffle 0
62 your more likely to get a girl if your hot
MzMegs 20
You can't say it's only older girls who don't date the jerks. I'm only 15 and I hate the boys around me who act like jerks. My boyfriend is the sweetest, nicest boy I've ever met, and he would do anything for me. I don't see why any girl wouldn't want that. Girls my age really need to grow a brain or grow up. Preferably both.
bobby3130 0
maybe you should be better at sex, or if you can't do that be a really good cook it will make up for it
UberFail79 0
To high schoolers reading this post and thinking about being one of the guys the previous comments address, I will remind you that women draw the line between "bad boy" and "******* psychotic". I found that out the hard way. Right after college. When my girlfriend found my stash of guns and knives.
YOULIVETODIE 0
Whats Yo Numbah? I'll come to Sacramento, CA because "I wanna ***** with you"
sexybeastsexybea 0
awesome name murdermedead.
Unbannedban 0
haha, next time slap his balls
mazesm 11
Agreed!
SpamPam 18
False. You just think the guys are jerks cause they get the girls. Although it is a problem that as kids we tell girls that a boy who picks on them secretly likes them
SpamPam 18
#68 Your attitude is the exact reason why you don't have a gf and probably never will. Have you ever considered that you are the asshole? Oh yeah and not all girls like benevolent sexism anymore
lynsieloowho 0
wow. kick him in the nards
doong_fml 0
no.... don't do that.... that hurts alot.....
locklock 0
true
iowa3jumpman23 0
maybe you were really that bad. YDI
sarah4ever000 0
uh kick him in the balls anyway... what a dick -_-
btown1616 0
you dont kick guys in the nuts... you just dont... its proven to cause as much pain as giving birth... so all you ladies out there complaining how much it sucks, at least you dont have to deal with it everytime some sally has a hissy fit
withered 30
Bullshit. They could not have proven it "hurts as much as pregnancy" because pain is SUBJECTIVE.
Asstazztic 8
Agreed ^
TheJesterOfRippe 0
Dude, that sounds like something my grandma would say. WAAAAAAHHHHHHH PUT MY CLOTHES ON FOR ME!!!!!!!
Fedor_is_KING 0
That's excellent Jester LOL
michelleyily 0
that's lame. figure out how to make the sex better and stop complaining
ferrarimach1 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
ydi for not knowing him better ( why you don't do one night stands)
strandedinalimo 0
She said boyfriend. However, I'm sure it wasn't long meaningful relationship. If it was OP deserves it for dating someone that would treat her like that.
rinzlerkitty94 31
The OP clearly says he was her BOYFRIEND! Maybe try paying attention when you read?
rinzlerkitty94 31
The OP clearly says he was her BOYFRIEND! Maybe try paying attention when you read?
flufffypants 0
Make sure the fly gets "stuck" and that you need scissors to remove whatever stuck in it
princess09 3
lol @ flufffypants
okieraider71 4
All guys need for sex is a place. Women need a purpose. It is pretty clear he does not take the time to figure out your "purpose". Find another guy; when you find the right one you will understand loves enduring promise. Good (better) luck next time.
Smilzen 0
Love's enduring promise...
alex105 0
dude your man sound so fucken stupid slap him and tell him it soooooo over
princess09 3
I agree with snickerdoodle