Today, I learned the hard way that if you're going to pour bleach on bugs to kill them, you need to be prepared for them to fly up and try to attack your face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML
Today, while squishing a stink bug, it sprayed directly in my eye. FML
Today, I was cleaning my bathroom, and accidentally spilled bleach, ruining my shower curtain, rugs, and towels. While attempting to wipe up the bleach, I knocked over a bottle of shower cleaner. It read, "WARNING: DO NOT MIX WITH BLEACH." I still can't go in the house. FML
Today, I was cooking dinner when I noticed a cockroach on the kitchen counter. I reflexively tried to spray it with what I had to hand, which was window cleaner, but it seems to have pissed it off and flew right at me instead. I screamed and ran out of the kitchen, leaving the roach in charge. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML
Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML
Today, I learned one of life's great lessons: it is possible to squeeze a Ketchup bottle so hard that the plastic breaks and everything lands on your face. FML
Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
omg like YDI for killing bugs and ******* up the natural balance of the world! support PETA 4 lyf No really, but bleach? Did you not have anything to hit them with or something?
zodak 0
leasson learned
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Comments (120)
zodak 0
leasson learned
marmlr339 14
more smart, more safe, Mortein!
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
you did it the wrong way, you get a lighter and some deodorant and fry the bastards, it's more humane that way.
Draminicaus 0
^....and smells better too! ^_^
seanders 10
Yes but if a woman utilized fire her house would be gone with the bugs.
allmidnighteyes 11
Ellen Ripley had a flamethrower and knew how to use it. But then again, OP isn't Ellen Ripley.
Penguinman909 7
that's what I do. either deodorant or just douse them in lighter fluid and fire to the little bastards.
ShadyFTW1 0
43 you are my new idol man. Op, do you not know how to squash a bug?
ShadyFTW1 0
Ha, actually, I just looked at your photo, and nevermind :P
zkchild 0
Kill them with fire.
iSitt 0
I used a lighter and binaca breath spray. the short bursts are safer.
nachobiznez 0
lol @ 39
georggx 3
ouch. that sucks!!
pedosmurf 7
Flyswatter=win
allmidnighteyes 11
omg like YDI for killing bugs and ******* up the natural balance of the world! support PETA 4 lyf No really, but bleach? Did you not have anything to hit them with or something?
Emo_yeti 0
Well, I'm pretty sure she didn't want to dirty her cooking equipment.
ColetteL 4
I am disturbed and attracted to your photo all at the same time. :)
sheehan35 2
Im pretty sure that is the natural order
AuroraBeam 0
Agreed! nd I'm with 27 on tht one! lol ^^,
laurabev 9
I second that! xD
CoachLlama 5
I'm gonna go with disturbed.
domharvey_fml 0
people eating tasty animals?
smgboo 0
oh me too.(;
PeypeyTheBeeotch 1
PETA is for animals, not bugs...plus, o support PETA!!!! People Eating Tasty Animals!!!!
Iforgotaname 9
I LOVE BACON.
redbluegreen 41
Why would you use bleach in the first place? Even if the bugs didn't fly at your face, the outcome still could have been pretty grim. There are easier and safer ways to get rid of bugs.
redbluegreen 41
Whoa there, cowboy, why would the gender matter?
redbluegreen 41
You desperately need to work on your trolling.
allmidnighteyes 11
That's not how you troll... Now shut up and make me a sandwich. Bitch.
redbluegreen 41
That's what you think, my little faux troll.
seanders 10
And people wonder why you hate everyone 25....
FYLDeep 26
They make sprays designed for stuff like that. Also you could have just crushed them.
C6Racer 0
Magnifying glass!
MrBlonde88 0
FTW
WorkThatButt 2
Brainfart
mfdoom44 0
lol
iheartglasses 0
Windex works just as well. If its a solution in a spray bottle, and the bugs aren't incredibly huge, the spray keeps them from flying. As Bill Nye says (or used to say?) NOW YOU KNOW!
Rangant 7
lmao reminds me of the dad from my big fat Greek wedding
KVloveBC 0
haha and also febreeze air freshener! it works
zombieglamour_fml 0
bill bye is awesome lol. I always looked forward to watching his shows in science class
bigphill1333 0
Nerd ^
daminantion 14
^ jealous because he doesn't understand anything outside playing with balls and wearing tights.. I mean football.
sensboltsfan84 4
Why the hell would you even want to?
ZeusBeDubsteppin 24
i use hairspray on hornets. they get kinda high and their wings get all sticky, then i smoosh them
harviss12 8
noob tube
cameycamcam 7
stick em with Semtex. payback! +100!
youngclench 0
Chopper Gunner!
Emo_yeti 0
So hav3 y0u guys ev3r tryed drinking bleach?? xD
Emo_yeti 0
I hav3 its surper epic xD
robc32ca 4
not enough bleach in your gene pool?!
pandemic_fml 0
Bleach makes a pretty good murder weapon. As I recall, by the time you die, it has dissolved in your bloodstream and won't show up on toxicology screens. Of course, I'm not a murderer or a doctor, so that could be bullshit.
ROFLFail 0
lol metalocalypse Guys I heard bleach is really healthy for ya
ImaginaryFoe 1
Drinking bleach makes you type like a ******* idiot. Think I'll stick to tea, mate.
barrelroll1472 0
please, don't reproduce