Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML
Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for two years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML
Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. Things were getting pretty hot, so I decided to smack her butt. I missed. I smacked my balls instead. Real hard. FML
Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML
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Top comments
YaboyVinnie 21
That was a rude gasture.
thrifting 18
You can never really truly love someone until you've broken the unspoken fart barrier.
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Comments (118)
YaboyVinnie 21
That was a rude gasture.
SmallyBigs 9
Sorry to hear OP, that really stinks :/
lisslyi 19
I see what you did there.
Arrow44 10
Oh no, not another list of fartstrating puns.
j_729 18
9-Too bad there isn't a button for that
Caitie_kid 8
Reading the passive aggressive "there's a button for that" comments is more annoying than reading the comments where they could have used the button.
TheCanucklehead 22
Did op gask her out afterwards?
horne2 9
#26 it was a fart pun
tootsie68 22
Karma's a bitch
yahoowizard 16
True and irrelevant
bribecrazyy 14
51, it is relevant. she said she would get him back. and she did. the fact that he farted is karma.
swordidfate 13
Karma for what?
illegalbeagle69 23
For tappin' that ass
wallandpiece 16
I hope you know karma isn't real.
timelessone 16
Then earls lifes work has been a waste.
Poppipuff 14
64- No it isn't. You don't know what Karma is.
Goblin182 27
I know what Karma is, Karma is a bitch.
illegalbeagle69 23
"Don't say that, she's a nice lady!"
leopardwilliam 22
Smooth...
Caitie_kid 8
Well, we all fart in front of our significant other at some point (unless you're one of those weirdos who hides that stuff even after marriage). You're just getting a head start. I wouldn't make such a big deal out of it, she'll probably laugh about later while she's ripping her own at home.
cristy91 33
When you said "hide that stuff" I just imagined a little old lady farting into jars and stashing them under the bed... I do agree with you, though, this could be signs to a bigger and better thing if she is able to just laugh it off
RedPillSucks 33
hmmmm.... fart jelly.
lolmigosh 15
Wow that's embarassing… Hopefully she doesn't care that much
j_729 18
It wasn't his daughter
Caitie_kid 8
5..... What??? I don't see where anyone said anything about a daughter besides you...
j_729 18
He edited his comment and i ran out of time to edit mine. It did say "is it normal to slap your daughters ass?..."
Caitie_kid 8
Ohhh I see. Sorry 'bout that, I was confused. ;)
BlueFlatts 20
Ugh... Editing. Often causes me to down vote the person who doesn't deserve it.
CrazyShytHappens 4
Isn't that the truth
lolmigosh 15
At first I thought the FML said "my baby girl" instead of "a cute girl" so that's why I originally made the comment. I guess I wasn't reading it clear enough the first time but as soon as I realized my mistake I changed the comment. Hope that clears up any confusion
Neyuu 18
#5, you made me laugh more than the fml did. Thanks for that hilarious mix up
corocoro 30
Well, I guess she won't do that again.
BeccaHugs 17
I don't see any way that you didn't deserve that. Slapping her ass (especially in public if thats where you were) is super rude. You had it comming.
LissaMccracken 23
It doesn't sound like she had a problem with it!
Zebediabolical 45
You say rude, I say playful. Neither of us is wrong. In certain circumstances. Neither is universally applicable.
bipitydooiseeyou 6
My friends, a mix of guys and girls, would all run through the hallways at school slapping each other's asses. -_- Its not rude if you know each other and are okay with the person. xD
farhad_71414 2
That's very funnnny
BreynHope 11
Lol just laugh it off. Everyone farts.
Jjimen1654 9
But op basically farted in her hand.
Caitie_kid 8
Everybody toots, everybody farts--sometimes (To the tune of everybody hurts)
thrifting 18
You can never really truly love someone until you've broken the unspoken fart barrier.
perdix 31
The game is called Grab Ass. It's poor form to use the Nuclear Option on the second move.
Damian95 16
Idk what you just said, but it still sounds better than North Koreas military operations.
cheshireau 26
This made me laugh out loud in class. Thanks :P