Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized the topic for my 1750-word essay could end up offending people, and I had to start all over from the beginning with a different topic. FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
Today, I had to write an argumentative essay about the morality of homosexuality. The prompt actually uses the phrase "the dangers of homosexuality." I'm bisexual. FML
Today, I got a writing assignment back. After meeting with my professor specially after class and meticulously combing through every word of that paper, I got a low D. Turns out, he graded me down on every suggestion of his that I took. FML
Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML
Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML
Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
primadonna9396 16
Yeah, part of being a lawyer is finding ways to defend people who are the scum of the earth. That's why they make the big bucks
darkgodxvx 4
Welcome to due process. Enjoy your stay.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (338)
MissTimeLord 3
My town had to change the name of the baptist church because the name of my town is Westborough....
krs7g4 8
You mean the Westboro Baptist CULT? **** those sorry excuses for human beings.
SuzyTurquoiseBlu 25
I agree!
iwadasn 33
It's a pretty good lesson to learn. You'll have to be able to argue in favor of lots of things as a lawyer, and you're not going to agree with all of them. Might as well get used to it now.
mndlz 6
Isn't that kind of the point ? It blows, but you have to get used to "agreeing with" and arguing for people/groups who in your head you are mentally beating to death in the slowest way possible. Call it practice.
JiggilyJoe 10
A true Marine understands that it is his duty and responsibility to give up some of his rights in order to ensure that every American has their rights protected, even if he doesn't agree with them.
redheadblonde 4
That's how it is which is why I could never be a lawyer. I'd rather die than defend then.
aaahhhfire21 0
wow kinda ****** you on that one didn't they
elletex 8
I hope that when the members of WBC die, Saint Peter makes them picket outside the gates of heaven for eternity.
tobyk123 1
FALSE. Once a Marine, always a Marine. SEMPER FI
athlete1990 4
It's good to defend the side you aren't in favor of. You already know points of the argument you will face because of the opinion you hold. If you are too narrow minded to defend a point of view you do not agree with, drop out now and save yourself a lot of money. Law isn't for people who can't check their emotions.