Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized the topic for my 1750-word essay could end up offending people, and I had to start all over from the beginning with a different topic. FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
Today, I had to write an argumentative essay about the morality of homosexuality. The prompt actually uses the phrase "the dangers of homosexuality." I'm bisexual. FML
Today, I got a writing assignment back. After meeting with my professor specially after class and meticulously combing through every word of that paper, I got a low D. Turns out, he graded me down on every suggestion of his that I took. FML
Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML
Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML
Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML
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Top comments
primadonna9396 16
Yeah, part of being a lawyer is finding ways to defend people who are the scum of the earth. That's why they make the big bucks
darkgodxvx 4
Welcome to due process. Enjoy your stay.
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Comments (338)
omgimgoingtodie 1
I can not think of anything worse than that assignment. Bless your heart!
gardenwhipped3 14
Depending on what you want to do.... you could talk about the importance of the freedom of speech and how important it is, and how the military serviceman protect it. And that applies to idiots like that particular bunch of nutbags. Of course you could also point out the bias in that as well. We have freedom of speech but we can get arrested for breach of peace without actually talking as well.
voiceofreason83 1
As a current Sergeant of Marines, I understand your plight. While I agree with free speech, I could never defend their funeral protests.
CrazyManNo9 29
Thank you for your service. As a Marine, you defended that right. And as a Lawyer, you will have to defend your client whether or not you agree with them. This paper is the first step to putting your own prejudice (at it makes me cringe to use that word, seriously) behind you so that you can defend what may be indefensible. All the best, dude!
pinkpixiedust1 1
Op i'm so sorry for this. And I'm sorry you didn't get more sympathy from the other posters who are clearly uneducated on just how f'ed up the WBC is. 1. They are recognized as a hate group. So would you all be saying the same thing if he were asked to defend say the KKK? 2. It's not just soldiers and Marines funerals they picket. They go to gay ppls funerals, ppl who have died from aids. The HOLOCAUST musuem in dc. 3. Saying they are happy for all the earthquakes and want more to kill all the bad people. 4. They make a habit of stomping on the American flag. These are a few examples of the many many messed up things WBC does. Oh and the Marine Corps is a brotherhood. Could you defend someone who picketted your brother/sisters funeral with signs saying "YES!! We are happy he/she is dead!"
anti88 6
Oh, I did a similar assignment for a moot court competition a few years ago. I can message you with a bunch of relevant SCOTUS cases (you know, to help you double-check your research...).
anti88 6
Er, I see you don't have a username, so here's a start: Feiner v. NY 340 US 315; Beauharnais v. Illinois 343 US 250; Wooley v. Maynard 430 US 705; Terminiello v. Chicago 337 US 1; and maybe Brandenburg v. Ohio 395 US 444.
clegirllaceup 0
WBC protested my high school because there was a story in our local paper about how accepting we are of our homosexual students. WBC are assholes.
smartjingle 11
Maybe being a lawyer isn't for you if you can't even handle your first assignment. Keep your personal opinions out of it if you want to succeed. :s
at0micmin3r 23
Ultimate win.
p35 2
Having BTDT (law school, not the Corps) a big part of it is learning to separate your personal feelings from your client's situation and make the best case you can for your client. You don't have to like them or agree with them to do that.
cheezybrah 0
Probably a left wing (nut) professor wanting to promote his/her agenda. Good luck my jar head friend, Signed Retired Squid