Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized the topic for my 1750-word essay could end up offending people, and I had to start all over from the beginning with a different topic. FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
Today, I had to write an argumentative essay about the morality of homosexuality. The prompt actually uses the phrase "the dangers of homosexuality." I'm bisexual. FML
Today, I got a writing assignment back. After meeting with my professor specially after class and meticulously combing through every word of that paper, I got a low D. Turns out, he graded me down on every suggestion of his that I took. FML
Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML
Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML
Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML
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Top comments
primadonna9396 16
Yeah, part of being a lawyer is finding ways to defend people who are the scum of the earth. That's why they make the big bucks
darkgodxvx 4
Welcome to due process. Enjoy your stay.
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Comments (338)
jcbinglis 7
Every one is saying that lawyers have to defend their client. If a case comes up that a lawyer feels is so morally wrong can't they refuse the case.
kitkats2772 1
thank you for your service! :)
NodakN8V 25
U.S. Navy myself and I've never seen a more ignorant bunch of Douchebags in my entire life.
hello_hola 3
thank you for serving, and don't worry you have to do stuff like that in the real world, you will probably very rarely find someone who has your exact opinion.
nasaboyinspace 14
I feel you brother. ..I'm shipping in December
misswallflower 8
That's like writing a paper to defend Hitler. Okay maybe not as bad, but still. The Westboro baptist church is full of complete douchecanoes. FYL man, I feel for you.
Nederlander95 14
Well yeah defending a nice guy's right to protest isn't a challenge. The whole point is arguing the ultra controversial
lightsaber11 8
OOHRAH-I'm joining in two years, and my DI already has a law degree!
shadowrider879 4
But being a marine should help right
mansfield_j 27
Former?? Once a marine always a marine