Today, I cut myself deeply with an expensive razor that advertised it's impossible to cut yourself with. Twice. Guess I always was an overachiever. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML
Today, while trying to put something into the almost full waste bin, I cut myself with a razor blade that my son had thrown in there. It was surprisingly sharp, and my finger started pissing blood. FML
Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML
Today, I got an electric shaver hoping that it would reduce the risk of cutting myself than shaving with a manual one. However, I cut myself opening the plastic package with the shaver inside. FML
Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML
Today, I accidentally cut myself with a razor blade on my toe. Not only does it sting really badly, but it reinforces the fact that I have abnormally hairy toes that need to be shaved. FML
Today, I learned how to sharpen a knife. I sharpened it so well that it went through my finger like a lightsaber. FML
Today, I decided to conquer my fear of blades, and tried shaving my legs with a razor. I sat on the side of my bathtub and wet my legs, but some of the water splashed. I slipped on it and fell back, hitting my head on the tile wall and slicing my leg open at the same time. FML
Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not with any of the sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML
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Top comments
CYNNER 0
Misadvertisement. you should sue
JESUSlives4MUSIC 0
you must feel proud. I know I would
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Comments (171)
iankennedy17 0
first!!!!
h_langston12 0
lol. dumbass. be more careful.
BlueJeans2626 0
lmfao, I litteraly laughed out loud at the over achiever part :p
Mustardnight 3
The clause does not work for wrists OP. Only shaving.
auZ_09 0
HIGH-FIVE for over-achieving! at least you weren't shaving with a NORMAL razor
Hated_By_FML 0
ydi for being EMO
Hated_By_FML 0
oh nvm #14 beat me to it
haleylynn24 0
was OP intentionally cutting?? if so, YDI. if not, FYL
Ajasstuff 0
I know, that was a nice touch.
itsucks12 0
second!
gearsawar2 0
second
Aha09 1
ZOMG! Me too! xD
itsucks12 0
actually i guess third
JESUSlives4MUSIC 0
you must feel proud. I know I would
CYNNER 0
Misadvertisement. you should sue
Tandrael 0
agreed
meenz 0
oh thts a good idea haha
SkaterChic 0
dayum i was going to say that as soon as i saw "i cut myself" i was like: emo story...
un_sexi_lexi 0
thats exactly what I was thinking. emo kids are crafty!
Syat 0
All three of you people are ******* idiots. Anyone can cut, and no, its not always people of the emo subculture. Its more likely to be people who have been, or currently are being abused in some way. Usually people who are being sexually abused will find this as a way of 'washing away all the bad in their body'. Before you go saying shit like emo people cutting themselves, do a bit of research and actually have an understanding of what EMO really is. ******* dick heads.
ihaveaname 0
I hope the people talking about being emo are being sarcastic. I didn't realize shaving made somebody emo.
F_ur_life_douche 0
I totally agree sue the shit out of them
idiocy_is_a_sin 0
sue for what? there are dry-erase markers that don't dry, and home-made foods in restaurants that aren't actually homemade. anyone should know by now that advertising is not 100% accurate. if everyone sued every time a product didn't work exactly as specified, no company would DARE to market any product. OP deserves being cut if he/she assumed that he/she could use the razor however he/she wanted and avoid injury
SuddenStone 1
SUE THEM SUE THEM!!
ffmmllyaya 0
yeah but without people sueing people for this kind of things then false advertisements are gonna get worse
infiniti_G 0
OMG IF U R THE GIRL U ARE WAY TO SEXY FOR THAT ASIAN DOOD
JoshTheMaggot 8
I'm sure there is some bullshit after the advertisement that said it's not true. all companies have that.
Reyo 2
NEW: NON-DROWSEY SUDAFED! *Back of label* Side effects include: upset stomach, dry skin, nose bleed, and drowsiness.
toxic10uhc 0
where have morals gone? someone gets mad at someone they scream lawsuit instead of talking to whoever or solving it themselves. the op is a moron... that's like putting no tear soap in your eyes.... you still should be carefull dumbass!
metazoanhaddock 11
what would you do for a klondike bar?
cmac86 24
THANK YOU!!
ladida94 0
number 26 and 89 are right!! common sense you guys
ILIEKGIRLS 5
people these days will sue for anything just for a quick buck.
div01 2
you have to read the fine print, it probably said "its IMPOSSIBLE to cut yourself with this razor!!*" (pretty pictures here big boobed girl on a guy with abs holding the razor) *just kidding.
BritneyBiohazard 0
I tried that before...not tear-free. xD
ElMarkino 0
sue? why? apparently the OP doesnt know how to use a razor. ive used cheap razors and expensive razors and never have i gotten cut, OP needs to learn how to shave
Pvmnox 0
quadracer111 0
Typical ******* american...
bhatz 0
she cut herself shaving with a razor that is advertised to not cut you. that is dangerous and you should sue. yes a lot of companies falsly advertise but when it is endangering others than it should be stopped. if someone made a microwave that was advertised to be able to cook a closed can of beans with out exploding and someone goes to cook a closed can of beans and it blows up they should sue.
mattm211 0
why even advertise a razor as not able to cut you?!! it's a purposfully RAZOR sharp piece of medal that glides over your skin...how can a company guarantee that it won't cut? I'd like to see that ad.
soccer_italia_16 1
Dry erase markers do not mean they dry. It means you can erase them without water or spray. you can use something dry, hense the name dry erase.
soccer_italia_16 1
Dear 25, Dry erase markers do not mean they dry. It means you can erase them without water or spray. you can use something dry, hense the name dry erase. so next time you would like to write a long message, makesure you have your facts straight. - Me.
awnuggets 0
It doesn't matter if OP is careful or not. If they said it shouldn't cut, then no matter what it shouldn't. I agree it's not worth it to sue, but that's probably because I'm lazy. It's OP's choice to sue.
Newbie21 1
8th!!!!!! Not … that is so lame
SuddenStone 1
lol
Phallus_fml 0
YDI for using razors.
anela_fml 0
what do you use to shave with?!
8trickster8 0
REAL MEN DON'T SHAVE
CyclonePsycho 1
REAL MEN OWN BEARDS THAT CAN WRESTLE BEARS, TRUFAX. THE OP MUST NOT BE MANLY IF A MERE RAZOR CAN CUT HIS HAIR.
xlostwithoutu 0
Are you supposed to shave with a fork or something!!
kukitheaf 0
true men shave with machetes. chuck norris uses a chainsaw.
24788 7
That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Chuck Norris's beard shaves it self in fear of being attacked by Chuck Norris himself.
greenltrn2003 0
I never shave but if I must I use high pressured water thats capible of cutting through slabs of steel... never have I once shed a drop of blood OP you are a soft skinned girly man
jonny2x4 0
YDI for being emo.
cindayy77 0
and what's wrong with being emo...?
MeatSucks777 0
exactly there's nothing wrong with being "emo" I cut myself..!
Kazze 31
You're a dick if you assume all "emo" people cut, and if you make fun of anyone that does. You're stupid and possibly an attention seeker if you cut and don't get help. I used to. It was a stupid mistake, and I moved on to better ways of dealing with my depression and all that. If I can do it, anyone can.