Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized the topic for my 1750-word essay could end up offending people, and I had to start all over from the beginning with a different topic. FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
Today, I had to write an argumentative essay about the morality of homosexuality. The prompt actually uses the phrase "the dangers of homosexuality." I'm bisexual. FML
Today, I got a writing assignment back. After meeting with my professor specially after class and meticulously combing through every word of that paper, I got a low D. Turns out, he graded me down on every suggestion of his that I took. FML
Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML
Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML
Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML
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Top comments
primadonna9396 16
Yeah, part of being a lawyer is finding ways to defend people who are the scum of the earth. That's why they make the big bucks
darkgodxvx 4
Welcome to due process. Enjoy your stay.
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Comments (338)
FireFlie07 20
Talk to your prof. I'm sure he can give you a different topic.
Tidus0 17
That church is beyond Jesus's help...
SwtCherryPie 26
Whether you agree with what they are doing or not, free speech is free speech. As a former Marine you fought to defend our freedoms. What people choose to do with them is not your concern.
CeltHound 14
Huh?!?!?
ixanonymousxi 7
no one said you have to defend what they're saying/doing. All you have to say is that it's their RIGHT to free speech that they're allowed to do what they do. I don't like them either, but I had to defend them for a class assignment as well and it wasn't hard or degrading. As a marine you should know it's imperative to protect everyones rights even the stupid people. If you can't understand that then you don't deserve to be a marine.
keeper801 8
**** THEM
nathansAngel 2
Ig that's why they gave it to you for a challenge and damn what a challenge
madgrinchhatter 12
You don't have to believe it. As terrible as they are, it's legal. I'm proud to live in a country where everyone (no matter how stupid, hateful, or ignorant) can voice their opinion. But still, f**k the WBC
behnjymyn 3
If you can't hack doing it as a writing assignment, you'll never be able to hack it when you actually have to defend some arrogant loudmouth's rights in court.
58sqn 1
You are NEVER a "former" Marine!