Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized the topic for my 1750-word essay could end up offending people, and I had to start all over from the beginning with a different topic. FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
Today, I had to write an argumentative essay about the morality of homosexuality. The prompt actually uses the phrase "the dangers of homosexuality." I'm bisexual. FML
Today, I got a writing assignment back. After meeting with my professor specially after class and meticulously combing through every word of that paper, I got a low D. Turns out, he graded me down on every suggestion of his that I took. FML
Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML
Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML
Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML
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Top comments
primadonna9396 16
Yeah, part of being a lawyer is finding ways to defend people who are the scum of the earth. That's why they make the big bucks
darkgodxvx 4
Welcome to due process. Enjoy your stay.
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Comments (338)
FaygoAndMiracles 18
If you are going to be upset about having to defend people who you don't like or who go against your beliefs, being a lawyer probably isn't the best choice you could have made for a career path.
biglittlehead 12
They protested at my school last year. I've never wanted to hurt somebody that bad until then.
TcheQ 12
WBC message of hate is not protected by free speech :) So write your paper defending free speech FROM people like WBC
alexNEX 7
You have my sympathy brother
toalysium 15
Write it like an article from the Onion!
raspackman 0
WBC can go die.
jeanne323 0
Yes that sucks, but even ignorant a$$holes have the right of free speech. You don't have to defend their beliefs, only their right spew stupidity. Also, not long ago a group of college students formed a human chain between the protesters and a funeral service. Maybe something you can use...
jacklynpage 1
I make a determination that half the people do not know the very sad and unsettling make westboro church is. I couldnt defend that so id be one of the few to take a f and proudly
lins27 3
Thank you for your service!
MendingBabylon 1
as a fellow law school student....get over having to agree with or believe in what you are defending. its just a paper. you are going to have to argue things you dont agree with constantly. if you cant do this, maybe you need to find a different profession