Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML
Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML
Today, the woman I love told me she cared about me and didn't like me hurting myself. She then posted a picture of herself making-out with her new boyfriend. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she'd carved her old boyfriend's name in her arm, and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to prom. Instead of saying yes, she broke up with me. FML
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML
Today, I proposed to the girl of my dreams. She asked me who I was, and maced me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
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Top comments
cherrybollosm04 0
abort abort
Sun_Kissed18 25
Break up with her right there! Thats so unfair for her to just put all of that pressure on you
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Comments (338)
pingpongdj 0
but you like her, just don't break up with her :) *first! :P
fmlfmlfml15 0
Methinks he no like her anymore, lol. And you could either get her some help, or do the thing you see on TV where the guy does everything he can to get the girl to dump her. And if that doesn't work, do what Peter and Quagmire did on Family Guy: fake your death. Good luck!!
z3r0ram 0
tell her it's down the street not across it. if your gonna do it, do it right the first time.
davidomke 0
always go to family guy for girl advice
DrunkenValor 0
That's what I do, I'm certain I'll die alone.
pwnrzero 0
#74 one of the few that make any sense. why cant we have more people like that in the world? i agree with #74, the family knows the girl best. by the way, this is why im staying single till im married =D
genius_man16 1
@117 What? You do realize that makes no sense right? So you're just going to hope some guy drops on his knees while you're standing in line at McDonalds? Or you're going to drop on one knee to some random girl while jogging through the park and then you guys will get married? You're seriously ****** up.
emorockerownage 9
that would make her feel empty too still and she would probably still kill herself
jakedmagic 0
im thinking that 117 didnt see the 'guy' in family guy-like 117 thought he said to go to the family
djb23 0
YES. it's true..
kewlcat 0
lol if you're staying single til you get married , are you having an arranged marriage?
onyxindigo 0
117 - Dude, you know she said Family Guy, like the TV show, and not the girl's actual family, right ? Dipshit.
asthmaticrhino 0
dude life is not like family guy. Plus, there's this little thing called school that they probably both go to. What I would do is stage an intervention. Oh and btw that girl is one emo bitch. I'm not saying dump her. As long as your happy, its all good. But seriously, think about the intervention. Or therapy.
americayay 0
call and cancel the date. if she kills herself, she had WAY bigger issues than you.
SlightlyGPirate 0
he said go to FAMILY GUY for girl advice. ya know. the tv show, Family Guy? thats what he meant.
joHnnycsU 0
exactly my thought
Fontario4 2
I didn't know by having depression and a self harm problem that that makes a person an imaginary label that ignorant assholes like you invented. She does have issues far beyond your normal depressed person if she said that though, try to get her help.
ronton 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
u don't die from cutting yourself
B4SK3TB4IL 0
I THINK SOMEONES IN LOVE. AWWWWWWWWWW
Give_Linux_A_Go 28
2 years later, I do wonder what has happened...
daeval14 0
285, you can die from cutting yourself. It's called hitting a vein.
acs123acs 22
Fml moderators delete comment 68. Telling the guy to tell the girl to commit suicide(cutting down the arm risks more of a bleed out--ie death)
piercethepool 3
Go to hell sh*t face. To everyone who self-harms: You're better than that piece of metal or that lighter or whatever you use, and you deserve to live. Don't give up and stay strong!!
cherrybollosm04 0
abort abort
egaonogenki 0
Pick up bad habits and fetishes. Pretend to lack confidence, and be open about liking childish things, like Pokémon.
GeorginaGruesome 0
Hey! I know someone who likes Pokemon and he's adorable =] and he's 17
Ashleigh_85 0
As a person who has Borderline I am offended by your comment !!! There are two people in a relationship. I assume you have had a partner that had Borderline, I ask what did you do to set them off to make them such horrible partners ???
Fou_Lou 20
Probably nothing serious. Thats why people with Borderline are hard to very hard to cope with in a relationship. They can be lovely people but on the other hand such assholes because of their disorder who twist the words in your mouth so that the partner comes out as the bad person regardless of what he did. Its sometimes mentally easier to run through a minefield blindfolded. If i were OP hearing such a sentence after the first few dates i would run. as fast as i can.
Sun_Kissed18 25
Break up with her right there! Thats so unfair for her to just put all of that pressure on you
neonokku 0
agreed!
doggylover27 0
How can he? Hello. if he's already telling us this FML, then that passed. Don't be retarded.
the_stereotype 0
OP, i think you should tell her that if you are in that relationship any longer you will have to cut yourself, she what she has to do about that
pchands00 0
hehehe STAY AWAY!
SookMauNoots 0
whoota crazy beetch
Sexxi 0
She was probably kidding(6th)
superklutz 0
The only way to find out is to dump her. If she calls the next day, she's not dead. Unless she's a ghost.
Inked2009 0
She is just using it as a tatic to make sure you never leave her. Dump her now, you will not be responsible for what she does. She is just a loon,and if she really wanted her life to be over she wouldn't say that crap.
gonzolove 0
It's a great way to start a healthy, loving relationship. =]
xXxCody 0
lol
peepo 0
Ask her if you can borrow her knife. Put it in your pocket then break up with her. Eighth!
danielw 0
#9 FTW!
regalarius 0
Well said. Or, just break up with her quickly so she doesn't get emotionally attached. You do NOT want to date a psycho, and that's clearly what she is if she's so aggressive in the first moments of a relationship.
MonsterSlayer13 5
agreed!
laurendancer 0
Doesn't work like that you would have to keep her in room with nothing I mean when someone cuts they will use anything
Vaati_fml 20
You're ninth.
piercethepool 3
No stupid. Anyone who self-harms or is suicidal probably needs support and if he loves her it doesn't matter that she cursor wants to die because he will help her recover
Ret_fml 0
Didn't one exactly like this get published a few weeks ago? I hate repeats.
Vaetrus 0
Happens all the time though. Well, enough that it isn't totally uncommon.
FPsLife 5
Call her bluff! I bet she has no cuts anywhere.