Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I just about managed to convince the judge to overlook my client's emotional outbursts in the courtroom, promising that he'd be on his best behavior from now on. An hour later, he screamed "FUCK YOU!" at the judge for telling him to quiet down. I hate my job. FML
Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML
Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
Today, the deranged idiot that I am defending in court went completely nuts and told the judge that I am the guy who planned the whole armed robbery that he is on trial for. FML
Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said, "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
Today, I was in traffic court trying to get out of a ticket. The judge called my defense "complete, unadulterated bullshit." FML
Today, I went to court-mandated anger management. The guy running the class was an insufferable little dweeb who wasted time teaching us fucking nursery rhymes. I wanted to break his stupid little nerd glasses. Everything about him makes me mad. FML
Today, I hate the legal profession with a passion, as I just walked out of court where a lawyer, spouting incomprehensible bollocks in Latin, convinced a judge to let a developer bulldoze a children's playground and part of a forest, to build a second multi-storey car park for the shopping centre across the street. FML
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Top comments
jamesderp 15
It's never too late to switch careers...
totallynotemily 25
He needs to learn when to use his "freedom of speech"
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Comments (71)
ssnow_fml 20
go into criminal defense. that's where the big money is
engineerosaurus 26
OP DID get into criminal defense. A public defender is a criminal defense attorney who works for the state. It's kinda the entry-level gig for defense lawyers.
jamesderp 15
It's never too late to switch careers...
totallynotemily 25
He needs to learn when to use his "freedom of speech"
Danne696 14
And that "freedom of speech" isn't the same as "freedom of consequences"..
jake131000 21
Get into insurance!
Ian7890 23
What are you wearing, Jake from "State Farm"?
h00tzForOsi 20
Uh, khakis?
mm12344 8
She sounds hideous.
SkylineFTW97 25
Well, "she's" a guy, so...
rgetting 24
So change to something else.
Tomryan279 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Don't complain some people don't have a job. Why don't you try to get a better one if you don't like your current one.
fakedsincerity 32
So because some people don't have jobs OP shouldn't complain.. on an app made for things which are an FML? That's ridiculous. And it's not like it's super easy to just find another job. Come on.
Dale_shackleford 13
You're the kind of person that would serve someone raw chicken and uncooked rice and then bitch that kids in Africa are starving when they complain.
Tomryan279 10
#12 I see your point. I only wrote that because I feel that he should look for another job is he doesn't like the one he has. #18 I have only worked in minimum wage jobs and work as hard as I can if I do make a mistake I own up to it. This FML kinda pissed me off cause everyone and the place I work had there hours cut. And I'm looking for a new job cause I can't work here with the hours in working and take care of myself.
Tatush_ 13
It's FML.. Everyone complains ..
Maximusmime 20
You can always switch!
InfiniteSunshine 32
That's terrible, although you are very noble for choosing that field as it is needed and a greatly overburdened area of law. However, if you're really that fed up with it, you have experience and public defending can be a boost to your resume, so it wouldn't be too difficult to switch to another field of law. Such as criminal defense attorney, real estate, family law, financial, it would allow you to have more flexibility with clients, so you would have more choice in the matter, hopefully avoiding such craziness.
ChaiseT 16
Hi there James McGill
Calingaladha 21
You have to wonder what these people think they'll accomplish by cursing at the judge...