Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized the topic for my 1750-word essay could end up offending people, and I had to start all over from the beginning with a different topic. FML
Today, in court, my client ran his mouth at the judge, cursing him out and then trying to lecture him on "freedom of speech" when he was found in contempt. I don't know what it is with these nutjobs, but I wish I'd never become a public defender. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, I had to explain to a potential client that I wouldn't represent him, because suing his neighbor for calling him a pansy would get us laughed out of court and likely get me disbarred. His response was to get violent and threaten to sue me for violating his civil rights. FML
Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML
Today, I had to write an argumentative essay about the morality of homosexuality. The prompt actually uses the phrase "the dangers of homosexuality." I'm bisexual. FML
Today, I got a writing assignment back. After meeting with my professor specially after class and meticulously combing through every word of that paper, I got a low D. Turns out, he graded me down on every suggestion of his that I took. FML
Today, I got paper thrown at me because I didn't agree with my classmate's conspiracy theory that Brian Griffin's death was planned by the illuminati. FML
Today, I finally got a reply to the letter to a celebrity that I had to write for my English class. It was a restraining order. FML
Today, my Platoon Sergeant caught me unshaved, so now I have to write a 1000 word essay on "The importance of shaving." FML
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Top comments
primadonna9396 16
Yeah, part of being a lawyer is finding ways to defend people who are the scum of the earth. That's why they make the big bucks
darkgodxvx 4
Welcome to due process. Enjoy your stay.
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Comments (338)
Thaxton76 3
Hold your ground and keep to your morals. Be something different, a lawyer with character. Tell you professor that they have there rights but you don't have to represent them. Your professor is probably a liberal who dislikes the military and there for you. He has it out for you becareful.
blondie1793 1
I'm so sorry.
SuiGeneris01 2
You don't have to agree to your assignment. It's only an assignment. Keep an opened mind, not everyone thinks the same as you. If you're going to law school that type of thinking is not leading you to the right direction.
LilMar43 0
Man that's retarded I am a Marine right now over seas and I would tell me professor hell no
mhunter1990 3
I think if someone killed all the members of that church no one would care. they would probably have everyone trying to get them out. they tried coming here to protest a funeral. lets just say they didn't make it into the city
chicago86 1
Those westboro followers are pieces of shit
Mahtari 19
Be Phoenix Wright and stick to finding the truth, imo.
newmandotcom 6
The answer to the Westboro Baptist Church is to point the 21 gun salute at them.
KML92 6
Too bad they fire blanks huh
scuttlebuttz 1
It's just a game of devil's advocate, my friend. By defending them in a hypothetical scenario you will be better suited to oppose them or others like them in the future.
CorpLaw77 3
From what I've heard, there is no such thing as a "former marine"... once a Marine, always a Marine... Semper Fi! That being said, tell your prof that the paper is against your beliefs and see if they can get you an alternate assignment
KML92 6
I say that and I get down voted with some shitty explanations as to what the "proper" term is. Lol