Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML
Today, I slept with a friend who always bitches about how he can't keep a girlfriend. When he finished within 3 minutes, I understood why. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML
Today, I had a one night stand. After her laying there without moving for ages, she impatiently asked if I'd finished. Once she got bored and told me to just finish myself off, her song playlist began playing "Never Gonna Dance Again". Very romantic. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
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Top comments
MrBrightside21 20
I'd be satisfied to have anyone with a female reproductive organ.
Ziggy122 15
Hey, at least you're good enough to make her finish!
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Comments (143)
BellaBelle_fml 23
37 - I take it that you either don't have much experience with sex, or that you have been manipulated by your sexual partners into believing that the woman 'deserves' more attention. It isn't about one partner getting or giving more than the other. It should be about both partners doing their equal share in making sure that both are satisfied. I am very blessed to have a husband who thinks this way as well, we both put in just as much effort as the other to ensure that a great time is had by all. And if one of us finishes before the other, we ALWAYS continue until they do, it's only fair. Sadly, there are some very selfish sexual partners out there than ruin it for their partner.
Nonibird 6
We have a word for people who take what they want and leave their friends with nothing. Single.
rethic 5
This seems like a rare occurrence in general, and since it's obviously happened to you multiple times I'm thinking you just take too long. How long are we talking? The typical sexual encounter lasts about 5-15 minutes of actual penetration time. Much longer and the woman WILL get tired and sore.
itszlo 8
What's wrong with being one of THOSE girls?
ballbearing 10
Haha! So she acts like a dude about sex. This is revenge for every girl you didn't get off.
SaintJimmyxx 8
huh. I thought it was always the guys who did that.
DelphiCat 17
No offence, but welcome to the world of most women.
ninjacow123 6
Atleast you have a girlfriend
ni0ve 9
I'm Pretty much done when I get mine but I wait for him to finish unless he's being cocky n trying to last all night. ain't nobody got time for that
dgies8 8
Take it as a compliment!!! Your just that good!;)