Charles
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Minneapolis, United States
Today, my girlfriend told me she loved me for the first time. Unfortunately, it was her way of saying that she didn't want to lose me after cheating on me yesterday. FML
WhyDoINeedAName
Okotoks, Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML
DC.
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML
rawdoglyfe69
Helena, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
WinnerWinnerNotEatingDinner
Arlington, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Effective
Today, I was the first guy ever to give my girlfriend an orgasm. I was also the first guy to make her poop at the same time. FML
Tim Scotten
🌶️ Spicy
Call me by my name
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Her new nickname for me is "Mr. Breakfast Sausage." FML
Anonymous
Edison, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Finger wagging
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
ohmylordy
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, while talking with my girlfriend about dating, I learned that she has had more girlfriends than I have. FML
asdfasdf
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Time is money
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Spare wheel
Today, an ex of mine told me she wanted a threesome. This was great until I realised I wasn't included. FML
Top comments
CanadAssassiN 0
That hardly made sense, but still-thats sucks. Hey, If she is insensitive enough to cheat on you behind your back, she doesnt deserve to have someone that loves her. Im here for you, buddy...TT_TT
Cloudy_fml 0
Think of it like a sex sandwich with you as the bread! Sex = good. Sandwich = good.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (48)
CanadAssassiN 0
That hardly made sense, but still-thats sucks. Hey, If she is insensitive enough to cheat on you behind your back, she doesnt deserve to have someone that loves her. Im here for you, buddy...TT_TT
Cloudy_fml 0
Think of it like a sex sandwich with you as the bread! Sex = good. Sandwich = good.
magentalucie 3
I love your logic.
FatElie 0
But the middle of the sandvich is always the best part!
holynemesis1208 3
you should have said plenty of people in between us..like your friends. 3 of you together if you get my drift.
Bauer_fml 0
She could be hinting to a 3/4/5some. I'd totally jump on that if I were you.
babygirl21 0
thats sucks man...hahahha... she bogus as hell for sayin that shit i bet u feeling dumb as hell
beveywevey 5
Get rid of her, that's a BS line. Don't stay hung up on a girl who wants other people
AlchemistEd 12
my girlfriend and I both sleep with other people regularly. we even both have a girlfriend. we're open and honest about it, have the rule that it's just sex and if we start getting feelings we ditch them. we actually work fantastically as a couple, to the point where other people ask us what our secret is!
Fmelikeuhateme 24
That's something both of you have talked through, that can work as well, even though it's not the usual dating "system". But the point is that OP didn't like it because she (apparently) is cheating on him, or said she wanted to have sex with people and OP won't agree with it.
haygurlhay 0
Sounds like a joke to me.
chille_fml 0
Thats just weird
chille_fml 0
#21- Primates also throw feces at eachother when they're mad, does that make it okay for us to do it?
JustCallMeCloud 0
#26: Polygamy is okay if both people are okay with it, but obviously the guy posting didn't want that type of relationship or else it wouldn't be posted here.