Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML
Today, I slept with a friend who always bitches about how he can't keep a girlfriend. When he finished within 3 minutes, I understood why. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML
Today, I had a one night stand. After her laying there without moving for ages, she impatiently asked if I'd finished. Once she got bored and told me to just finish myself off, her song playlist began playing "Never Gonna Dance Again". Very romantic. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
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Top comments
MrBrightside21 20
I'd be satisfied to have anyone with a female reproductive organ.
Ziggy122 15
Hey, at least you're good enough to make her finish!
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Comments (143)
tj5810 21
Her lady parts could be hypersensitive after she reaches her 'destination'. Maybe she could give you a halftime show, of whatever nature, until she's ready to get back into the game. If she's not willing to compromise, she may be in for a rude awakening.
textwork 4
Actually be a man and make her keep going
lambda_fml 40
Theres always the other hole.
MisterEx 28
Does she leave some money on the nightstand too, OP?
Devilpuppy0861 7
Hey 81 as likely as it is that 37 is inexperienced I have serious sensitivity issues and have trouble orgasming the first 5 or so times I have sex with a girl so for me it truly has just become all about the girl. OP I get it it sucks but it's really not the end of the world. Count yourself lucky you can get your girl off. Supposedly most guys can't :/
steam_engenius 21
Sounds pretty manly of her. Guys do that all the time. Welcome to women's realty! Lol.
jbuckets_404 39
Respectfully, since this isn't his 1st GF to have this problem, **perhaps** he's really bad @ foreplay, etc., so she fakes it ASAP to simply end the entire unpleasant experience and also figures that he cannot be (reasonably) taught to be better at it.... :-(
chuckcloninger 12
Here's a thought,
chuckcloninger 12
Here's a thought. Get started and when she's really into it fake an orgasam, yawn, roll over and go to sleep. Apparently she needs to know what it feels like to be left hanging?
jbuckets_404 39
15 and 104 - I presume (hopefully!) that your remark excludes your mother and other female family members.... ;-)