Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML
Today, I slept with a friend who always bitches about how he can't keep a girlfriend. When he finished within 3 minutes, I understood why. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML
Today, I had a one night stand. After her laying there without moving for ages, she impatiently asked if I'd finished. Once she got bored and told me to just finish myself off, her song playlist began playing "Never Gonna Dance Again". Very romantic. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
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Top comments
MrBrightside21 20
I'd be satisfied to have anyone with a female reproductive organ.
Ziggy122 15
Hey, at least you're good enough to make her finish!
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Comments (143)
tjv3 10
Maybe you should tell her to get to sucking before y'all start having sex . That way you are ahead in the race
GhostChickens 17
That's pretty selfish. I understand that some couples have timing issues, but surely she should at least try to work around it? What's the point if only one of you gets off? As others have said, foreplay and other sexual acts could help and, if she isn't even willing to try, then she needs to mature and accept that sex isn't just for her. Personally, if I was in the situation, I wouldn't consider sex where only I finished as good sex.
xNephilim 19
That's just ridiculous. I understand why a guy can't keep going (at least with his penis) after he's done, but girls should not have such hang ups. There's nothing to deflate. Tell her to quit being a selfish bitch or she won't get laid at all. Oh, and buy yourself a pocket pussy. Really.
crammer1 6
Actually, a ******** can be just like a penis after ******. Super sensitive. She should be glad that she can ****** so quickly. However, each partner needs to understand each others needs. I can totally understand why she would want to quit if he needs another 30 minutes to get off himself. If that's not the case, he needs to communicate with her that it will only take a couple of minutes more.
xNephilim 19
Yes, of course the clit is more sensitive afterwards, but most women don't.... Well, feel all that much in their actual ******. I'm not saying she needs to let OP attack her clit and make her uncomfortable, but I just honestly don't see why they couldn't just continue. Or heck, even if she doesn't feel like continuing having sex, the least she could do would be to help him finish in some other way.
Loperz10 2
sounds like a guy
madgrinchhatter 12
Now you know how girls feel
austinjf27 1
So how's bragging camp going?
BrianneAlex 10
I'm not sure why people are assuming she's a selfish bitch. Some girls can't keep going once they "finish". It can be excruciatingly painful and sensitive to be touched after ******. Try waiting 20 minutes or so and then continue after she isn't so sensitive.
BellaBelle_fml 23
True. However, I think that what he is really upset about here, and why most people are saying that she is a selfish bitch, is the fact that she isn't willing to help him finish at all by performing oral, giving him a handjob, or even trying anal, if they're both ok with it, that is. And that does kind of make her a selfish bitch.
lochiamochia 25
The best sex is being able to finish together.
lizzys1972 3
Well that's a first usually the guy finishes first and rolls over and falls asleep
dr_snow_bear 29
Wow, you've seen a 90's sitcom too? Cool!
MadlyInLust 5
I know, it sucks! My boyfriend never wants to continue after he's finished. So rude.