Today, I woke up and groveled and apologized to my wife for waking her up. I went to work and sent groveling, apologetic texts throughout the day when she got angry. I got home, groveled and apologized for being tired and hungry, then ate a cold sandwich and went to bed. A typical day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML
Today, due to an emergency, I ended up working for 18 hours instead of 13. I'd texted my unemployed wife to let her know this was unavoidable, but when I got home she blamed me like she thought I planned this in advance, yelled at me, and my dinner was Heinz tomato soup I had to heat up myself. FML
Today, at 5:30 a.m., my wife woke me to order milk for our business because she forgot to do so last night. She then chewed me out for doing it there and then, waking her up. I'm apparently useless, always complaining and in a bad mood about the most mundane things. What? FML
Today, I woke up late, got ready within 10 minutes, and drove to work. I walked in and apologized to my boss. He said, "Go home, it's your day off…" Walk of Shame. FML
Today, getting tired of my usual turkey/tuna salad/chicken sandwiches, I made a pot of soup to take to work for lunch. My girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night to forage for snacks, spilled it all over the floor, and woke me up to clean it. FML
Today, I woke up early to do the dishes and clean up, after having people over yesterday. Now my wife is mad at me because I didn't stay in bed with her longer. FML
Today, while in bed, I tried to explain how overworked and unappreciated I feel doing all the housework to my fiancé. It was only when I'd finished my long rant that I realized he had been asleep almost the whole time. FML
Today, I woke up to 20 unread messages from my friend asking why I sent her stuff like, “I hate you” and “Get lost” at 3 a.m. Turns out I sleep-texted during a nightmare. Now I have to grovel and apologize for something I don't even remember doing. FML
Today, I made breakfast for the family. Perfect. Did all the Laundry. Great. Drove the one and a half hour round trip to take my stepdaughter to work. Blah. Finished off by doing some housework and cooking dinner. The dinner wasn't perfect, and my wife told me that for all the good I do, I ruin everything. FML
Today, I spent the day busting my butt to clean the house. As I tumbled into bed at the end of the day, exhausted, my wife looked at me and said, "Maybe you can get something done tomorrow?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CatIsAPalendrome 7
How did a grown man go through his whole life being unable to advocate for himself? YDI your whole situation.
tiptoppc 21
What happens if you stop caring about what she thinks? You might find yourself free in one way or other, but this makes it seem you get off on being dominated and keep at it. I don’t know anyone who would do that unless they wanted that type of life.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (4)
CatIsAPalendrome 7
How did a grown man go through his whole life being unable to advocate for himself? YDI your whole situation.
tiptoppc 21
What happens if you stop caring about what she thinks? You might find yourself free in one way or other, but this makes it seem you get off on being dominated and keep at it. I don’t know anyone who would do that unless they wanted that type of life.
Hangryko 32
And you haven't filed for divorce yet, because ...?
lexxiasaurus 31
you shouldn't have to grovel and apologize all day, but at the same time, expecting her to make dinner and complaining that you had a cold sandwich when you are an adult and capable of making yourself dinner is also not an adult way to go about this. I don't know anything else other than what you have written, so I would assume she has late shifts or early shifts, either one are hard to be able to go back to sleep or be woken up from, maybe if you have another bathroom, use that one in the morning to get ready in if you're showering in the morning, and that is what woke her, it sounds like she doesn't want just an apology, but also changed actions so that way she can sleep and go to work fully refreshed, again no one knows because you left it very open ended, many e have a conversation with her on how you can help her as well in the morning so you're not waking her up