Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML
Today, I slept with a friend who always bitches about how he can't keep a girlfriend. When he finished within 3 minutes, I understood why. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML
Today, I had a one night stand. After her laying there without moving for ages, she impatiently asked if I'd finished. Once she got bored and told me to just finish myself off, her song playlist began playing "Never Gonna Dance Again". Very romantic. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
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Top comments
MrBrightside21 20
I'd be satisfied to have anyone with a female reproductive organ.
Ziggy122 15
Hey, at least you're good enough to make her finish!
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Comments (143)
razzledazzle21 23
Your girlfriend sounds like a lot of guys out there. No offense boys!
GhostChickens 17
I feel bad about the rep men get regarding sex. Everyone's different and no man can be expected to know every single woman's likes and dislikes or vice versa. I had a friend that always complained about her boyfriend never giving her orgasms, but she faked orgasms and never told him what she was into so how was he supposed to get any better? If somebody wants their sex life to improve, I think the best thing they can do is communicate. Everyone should tell their partners what they like so there's no complaining later.
dr_snow_bear 29
If all you've ever been with is boys I can see why you'd know so much about this problem.
LifelessStars 22
Next time stop when she's almost finished so she can also feel what's its like to be unsatisfied
aliciaanomalyyxo 12
That's ****** up, she could make you finish in other ways she's just being selfish! Best part is of it is making your partner satisfied IMO
BellaBelle_fml 23
Exactly! Nothing turns me on more than feeling my husband getting turned on and excited and knowing that my husband is turned on by me! It makes me want to make him feel amazing even more than I already did! And he says the same thing about me. So it's kind of like a never ending cycle of turning each other on. If that makes any sense, haha.
karlcolt45 19
dude same! I'm super quick but she's like the Flash of orgasms! and then that's it
FistToBalls 3
Being quick is nothing to say aloud...
karlcolt45 19
no fear my friend. I'm confident in myself like that hahaha
TheElBurrrito 21
It's not about how long you last. As long as you can get her there, nothing else matters.
karlcolt45 19
somebody gets it
maronofhearts 19
I disagree 125 The longer you last the more times you can get her there, the more positions you can try and you can wear her out then she'll leave you alone to do whatever you want.
slickchrome 11
Are we positive they arnt faking it? I've had experience with quick chicks, its rare but their still women. they're always usually up for taking seconds.
pogue36 5
I know that feeling :/
jojimugo 20
Yea am down to compete who finishes first
MeTheBeast 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Isn't it more about the girl than yourself
Inciter 33
Sometimes sex can be painful after the first ******. Just ask her to take a break for a minute and then start working her back up. Multiple orgasms are the best.
ShyAnn29 15
I'm sorry, but she sounds like a bitch, apparently she forgets that when she gets intimate with a person, the pleasure is for both of them, not just her!
andromeda335 9
Sorry to break it to you Hun, he may be finishing first to stop you early
WKER143 9
*she