Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML
Today, I slept with a friend who always bitches about how he can't keep a girlfriend. When he finished within 3 minutes, I understood why. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML
Today, I had a one night stand. After her laying there without moving for ages, she impatiently asked if I'd finished. Once she got bored and told me to just finish myself off, her song playlist began playing "Never Gonna Dance Again". Very romantic. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
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Top comments
MrBrightside21 20
I'd be satisfied to have anyone with a female reproductive organ.
Ziggy122 15
Hey, at least you're good enough to make her finish!
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Comments (143)
icepick23 12
Send her my way
marrrry 4
1 and 15: if all you're interested in is sex with "anyone with a female reproductive organ," I'm not surprised you're not getting any. That's actually a pretty disgusting thing to say. What woman is going to be interested in a man who only cares about her ******?
LectumX 3
Some girls need to know the importance of having both sides get pleasure xD it's the worst feeling.. I feel you, man. In the same boat sometimes,
manga_fml 15
Congratulations. now you know how women feel, all the time.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
#169 > Speak for yourself, it's definitely not the case for every woman
Bobfromjanitoria 2
Next time you're getting it on, right when she's about to finish, pull out and walk away. If she asks why, just point out that she wasnt gonna let you 'get off' anyways, so it wasn't worth the effort anymore.
BriannaRWatson 13
I guess I'm really lucky that my husband and I feel that each person deserves an equal turn. A person who is sexually selfish to begin with will remain that way. Don't walk, run away.
MooseKnuckle5150 13
Everyone is responsible for their own ******. Turn the tables a couple of times and see if she changes her attitude.
jmsbigley 6
finish anyways.
crazigrl070 4
Wow really? That would be great for me to finish before him!
usmc6892 6
A train stops so everyone can get off