Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that our quickies shouldn’t take 45 minutes. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML
Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML
Today, my girlfriend has two speeds in bed: so slow that it’s just not exciting for me, or so hard and fast, I can’t physically keep up and it starts to hurt. We’ve discussed our different needs a bunch, but so we’ve had sex every night this week and I only orgasmed once, masturbating in the shower. FML
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Top comments
banman12321 6
Oh it's not?
chaoticxxxmess 3
She probably thinks its painful or uncomfortable.
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Comments (133)
wunnaBsoujia 0
Well...suck to be you
fanceh 10
Then tell her it's not...?
jmtmxer 0
No no no .... SHE sucks ... Hehe
Keyman1212 14
What is with all these FML's about finishing too quickly lately?
fthislyfe 22
15: Though I hate you, you mentioned a very good point.
SCREAM4meeee 0
15- You're so quick witted! ..
ikickgingers 15
I thought that said oral sex. I clicked for nothing.
LiveLaughFML 10
that's only with you ;-)
Keyman1212 14
29- I'm not really sure why you hate me. Does it have to do with the message about me being "very handsome" that I didn't reply to?
sirbrainiac 2
I've been doing it wrong all these years.
ikickgingers 15
38 - you're very handsome. Hahaha fail.
fthislyfe 22
38: You did reply! And no, I'm not that shallow! It has a good reason.
FMMFL1992 3
Maybe you make her feel uncomfortable during it.
NeatNit 33
OP's name is QuickieGirl. Lesbians? In that case, what's there to get over with?
Keyman1212 14
52- That's true, so was it because I didn't reply to you telling me you were moving to Canada?!
ripgeorgecarl1n 7
There aren't enough girls like her. FML.
theaws0m3guy 4
Sex is the greatest way to show your love to your significant other...she doesn't love you very much bro
fthislyfe 22
Wow you remember every detail about me! Must have had a very strong impression on you. And no, not because of that either
ohthestupidity 4
keyman and fthislyfe - so glad you guys are sharing with us! always wanted to know what other people are saying in private!
katt_is_here 24
Right? Their back and forth is so rewarding and enriching to our lives. They should just **** and get it over with.
banman12321 6
Oh it's not?
lolololer 8
so its not a race? ;)
aKaClickZ 4
Shit, and I thought I was a pro.
mistersheezy 7
You may wanna brace yourself for an "it's you not me" talk. I'm just saying.
jpallan 3
Right. If she's viewing sex as "lie back and think of England", either she's supremely inhibited or she's supremely bored. Either way, this doesn't look so good for you.
drawmesunshine 17
Or maybe she had a bad experience once and is having trouble getting over it.
22cute 17
Maybe she's having a bad experience with you -each time.
chaoticxxxmess 3
She probably thinks its painful or uncomfortable.
Mokiikom_fml 8
And considering the way OP is clueless and complaining about it in such a way, she's probably right. Sex is good, with someone who knows what they're doing. Learn to make her feel good, OP. Otherwise, how do you expect her to want to have sex with you???
liquidSELECT 0
Theres no point doing it
BIGBOY4rmAHM 19
You have to make her finish before you finish.
Freeze_fml 17
It doesn't work that way.
22cute 17
Exactly! She'll enjoy it a lot better...& longer then.
sseberly 11
Thought that wasn't supposed to happen until marriage
captainbj2 0
Lmao! That was a great response!
DelilahPhan 6
Who waits until marriage nowadays?
ohyeah_10 1
People who can't get any outside of marriage. ;)
Freeze_fml 17
Usually those who are comfortable with the idea of having a sole partner.
ohyeah_10 1
It was a joke? Umkay? Thanks.
GrammaticalNazi 2
94 - why would he joke about such a mature, beautiful thing? "Umkay?"
Freeze_fml 17
Then you're a terrible comedian and a shallow idiot. Thanks.
J9DeeZy 4
No that sounds like your average decent comedian sex joke. God forbid anybody who has different humour.
Mokiikom_fml 8
Guys, I have news for you, it was a joke. A joke about people waiting until after the marriage to have quick/rushed bad sex. (And not just waiting for sex period.) Wow people don't pay attention while reading these days.
jennt89 10
because you're not good at it.
NomOnShroomz 14
It's not? No wonder my pickup lines haven't been working.
bubo_fml 11
"Nice guys finish last, because the lady always comes first!" If you follow this creedo, she'll be draggin' yo lil butt up to the bedroom! Be responsive, explore & discover what turns her on!