Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML
Good friend
Today, I slept with a friend who always bitches about how he can't keep a girlfriend. When he finished within 3 minutes, I understood why. FML
Get on with it!
Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML
Careless Whisper?
Today, I had a one night stand. After her laying there without moving for ages, she impatiently asked if I'd finished. Once she got bored and told me to just finish myself off, her song playlist began playing "Never Gonna Dance Again". Very romantic. FML
Lifeless
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
Routine
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML
I'm gonna come
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
Top comments
MrBrightside21 20
I'd be satisfied to have anyone with a female reproductive organ.
Ziggy122 15
Hey, at least you're good enough to make her finish!
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Comments (143)
Riya2595 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Good luck! Hope you find a better girlfriend next time :)
RoboCunnilingus 23
Word. If I can make a girl cum first, EVERY TIME, I have to break up with her too.
Alleged_Cranium 7
She's not very ambitious if she is satisfied with only one ******.
TheNewGuy03 29
^ This. Maybe she doesn't know that it's possible? I know it's definitely easier for women to have multiples. I'd love to be one of those special dudes who can just finish several times. :( I'd let her know reeeeeal quick-like.
SS99_fml 20
Man that sucks...maybe try to get close to finishing before you get intimate?
doctorhook86 25
3: Decent advice! To put it more hilariously though, OP should try to shoot quicker.
machiavelli2 5
Fantastic advice! get close, finish first.... Then show her how it feels to not finish! ! that may change somethings. If not that's why us men have the internet.
Axipiter 24
I think women have the internet too... I could be wrong, though.
GoodLookingGeese 10
What's the difference 10sec or 15?
machiavelli2 5
I never said women don't, we just use it for these things more often than women.
kaycol 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Sex is a race the winner finishes first
Catkam623 27
* sex is the only race in the world where the loser finishes first
kaycol 8
Not in op's case
HighasaCloud 46
#33 Sex isn't a race, you window-licking dunce.
Ziggy122 15
Hey, at least you're good enough to make her finish!
ParadoxicalPea 8
Or, OP could teach his girlfriend about that AMAZING thing called foreplay. *gasp*
ParadoxicalPea 8
Just offering an alternative to dumping her. It takes a while to get in sync with someone, so experiment. I know once I reach my limit (almost always after 3+ "O"s) my hubby has to fend for himself if he hasn't finished by then. He doesn't mind though. Guess I'm lucky. And selfish. Meh. xD
zandalee 20
My goodness! Lucky woman! Three orgasms?!
KSlocum 5
Or talk about ways you can compromise on it, such as having her get you close during foreplay, this way you both finish with no complaints?
ParadoxicalPea 8
3 minimum. Lol. I mean, it's not every single time, but close.
tj5810 21
92- tell me your secret! :D 3? I'm totally jealous. Lol
ParadoxicalPea 8
Lol, 115, Kegels (I may have misspelled that, its not a word I ever type) and 6 years of practice. xD
CrissyyyS2 22
6 years...? Ehh I'll just stick to my boyfriend and our vibrator :P
moonsalt 20
92- I'm really jealous. :/
onedayinamsterda 14
How lucky can one get !
Devilpuppy0861 7
115, 122, 130. Oral oral oral. If you take care of yourself down there then teach your man what a clit is and don't let him come up for like ten minutes minimum. And don't worry about us getting bored, ***** a blast.
babyshaft408 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ask her if her mouth is tired
Clumsyblonde22 12
Try foreplay, it might do wonders for you.
kaycol 8
Or she might get off and just roll over
SWC_Penguin 17
That's...odd. I suspect she'd be fine to keep going after a minute, but just never thought to try. She's probably too sensitive right after, but that wears off! Talk with her when you're not currently having sex about trying to take a second go at it after a 1 minute break.
emag_eht 18
I don't know why a woman would stop after one ****** when she could have multiple orgasms. That really is strange.
asnakelovinbabe 16
I was just about to say... Why stop at one!?!? Three... Four... Five... That's the norm here. It's really quite easy, maybe she just has no idea she can do it yet.
spekledworf 18
I don't know about you guys but I need a couple minutes after I ****** otherwise it starts to get irritated, especially if he's using a condom
ParadoxicalPea 8
I agree with 52. After a while its just.. an ordeal.
GwylaFelidae 7
I wish I could have more than one ******. And I wish I could ****** during sex. I'm usually stuck having to ********** in order to climax. My S.O. is glad to help, but sometimes even that doesn't finish me off.
natsaysheyyy 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Women don't need a break after ******. The can continue on the second after and it would feel awesome still. Tell her she's selfish and that you also need to be pleased. I also typically finish first, but I never stop because of that. I just look forward to my second ******!
asnakelovinbabe 16
52 I have heard that is the case for a lot of women... I don't have that issue though. I can keep going right after for quite some time. Our record is 8.
LucyHyde95 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Refuse her anything sexual so she feels something similar to what you feel. When she gets frustrated, explain it yo her.
Voij 16
That's not quite as strong a punishment for most women as it is for most men. (And I know that there are exceptions, but generally speaking it's easier for a women to give up on sex for e.g. 2 months than it is for men.)
love_me_electric 20
17 - Going to have to strongly disagree with you there. Every couple is different. Sometimes the woman has the low sex drive, sometimes it's the man. I'd probably go insane if my boyfriend withheld sex from me for more than a couple weeks.
ParadoxicalPea 8
17, I know I couldn't go without sex for that long. Not even when I was preg, grumpy and sore.
CrissyyyS2 22
I was thinking more of... Get her close to her ******... Then just hop off and leave her.
notimaginary 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Now you know how us women feel!
Bakarra 22
Idk what guys you've been dating but I start with extensive foreplay for her so she finishes first or around the same time. Stay together for long enough and you start to figure out the timing.
Doodleoodlebug 18
Aww to be 19 again
Bakarra 22
Who me? Yea it's all fun and games trying to figure out what I wanna do with my life...haha
amifaiyaz 12
she can still pleasure you after she's done, try softer foreplay after to get her in the mood again.
emag_eht 18
I agree with your idea but I'm sure it's not called FOREplay anymore.
CharresBarkrey 16
Postplay?
sniken 14
afterplay?
DKjazz 20
Instant replay?