Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML
Today, I slept with a friend who always bitches about how he can't keep a girlfriend. When he finished within 3 minutes, I understood why. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML
Today, I had a one night stand. After her laying there without moving for ages, she impatiently asked if I'd finished. Once she got bored and told me to just finish myself off, her song playlist began playing "Never Gonna Dance Again". Very romantic. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. This is the seventh time in a row that she hasn't moved or made any noises the entire way through. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. I finished too quickly and apologized. She said she was used to it by now. FML
Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML
Today, despite warning my new girlfriend I suffer from bad premature ejaculation, and should get her to orgasm first with my hand or mouth, she insisted I “just fuck her already” then she blamed me when it was over in 15 seconds. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
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Top comments
MrBrightside21 20
I'd be satisfied to have anyone with a female reproductive organ.
Ziggy122 15
Hey, at least you're good enough to make her finish!
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Comments (143)
thelittlepakeha 6
What's that, the sex is considered over when your partner finishes, whether or not you're satisfied? Congratulations, you have the same problem as most women have had forever.
onorexveritas 24
I would imagine that sucks.... a lot
jedawi 13
That's the definition of being lucky and unlucky at the same time!
WonkeyDonkey 10
I don't know I'd take it as a compliment if I were you that you can make a female go off like that! She sounds selfish not to return the favour ;)
MrBrightside21 20
179's got it right. And to 167, my ex broke up with me for not being sexual enough. I didn't treat her wrong or make any sex jokes, and she didn't like that I was too nice. So please don't categorize someone's personality by what they say on a website where 99% of all comments are, or are intended to, be jokes.
inuar 7
Exactly! My husband and I are the same way but I have to admit after a while I just really don't want to keep going but in those cases I always help him with a ******* I mean it's only fair. Also does that girl not know about multiple orgasms?
zx280car 1
Sounds like you need to take control or express your concerns.
jwb8711 13
Or you suck so bad they all fake it to end the torment
the4starr 3
Have some respect, relationships aren't all about sex. However practice makes perfect ! ;)
djinnyf 12
Welcome to womanhood... It's so freaking often like that for us!!!!