Today, I was out and was having a wonderful time. At exactly midnight, I get a call from my father. He's divorcing my mother. He's also going to Florida with his mistress for the weekend. If that wasn't the best news ever, he'd love if I found an apartment to live in ASAP. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my parents are divorcing and my mom is moving out. I'm 11 weeks pregnant. Breaking the news should be fun. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. I was about to call my parents and tell them we're getting married, but they called me first to announce they're getting a divorce. FML
Today, my dad, who lives hours away, called and told me he was getting married. Today. As in this evening. Guess I'm not invited. FML
Today, I found out my newly-divorced father is now going to marry my girlfriend's mother. Tough situation here. FML
Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML
Today, I returned home from my honeymoon and met my dad for coffee. He told me he's been seeing someone and he's so happy. It's my new mother-in-law. They moved in together during my wedding weekend. FML
Today, I found out my mother had remarried, and that I was getting a stepfather and stepbrother. However, I found out about it 30 minutes before we left to pick them up from the airport, and also found out that I'm losing my bedroom. FML
Today, my parents told me, after 30 years of marriage, that they are getting a divorce. I went to my boyfriend's apartment because I needed some comfort. While sobbing to him, he decided to dump me on the spot because my reaction to the news was "immature" and he wants an "adult" relationship. FML
Today, my dad wants a divorce. I can either stay with my wine-loving mom or move 300 km away with my dad. FML
Today, I found out that my father, who very recently lost his wife, decided that drunkenly hitting on my long-time boyfriend's mom was a good idea. FML
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Top comments
mrda 0
Problem: Mistress Solution: Run over the mistress. Problem: Solved
Jewelofagal 2
Your response: "I'm not going to alter my living arrangements on the fly so it will be more convenient for you and your mistress to set up your love nest ASAP. It will take some time. You will need to be patient and remember that you're supposed to be my father and look out for my well-being. "
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Comments (57)
type1 3
That sucks ..
FarSide 23
LOL. New Jersey! ROFLMAO! Like no place else.
fawfulster 11
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdmWEkk2wtM
harryman04 0
that's aliterate to absorb In one day. something similar happened to me except he excpected me to care about him. I don't give a tiny rat **** about him. burn in hell Scott.
misslizzeh 0
sounds like my parents. sorry dude.
Michael_92 20
So you ever find that apartment?
Turnip_Girl 0
Sorry about your parents. In more ways than one.
mrlucky4444 0
what a wonderful dad u have
xxcrazybestiexx 0
That one bad Conversation to have on the phone...., Sorry about ur parents, really ****** up. FYL
rick_james_b17ch 0
Your dads gonna buy u an apartment? That's awesome.
Star9919 0
He's not going to buy him/her an apartment, genius. His/her father is kicking them out, and their mother. I'm so sorry! Best of luck with your situation! I'd go tell him off if I were you. :) Good luck
rick_james_b17ch 0
Thank you for clearing that up, and thank you for wishing me good luck, good luck to you too.
misspeg 0
sorry 2 hear that. going through parents divorce is tough. on top of that u gotta deal with ur selfish dad and his new life too. FYL
Peroxide 3
What's with the exactly midnight? Did your car also turn into a pumkin and you had to go work for your asshole sisters with 1 shoe missing? Oh and if you're looking for a new apartment I hear that woman living in a shoe has a spare room.
Dazzling_African 0
I'm not gonna say sorry to you... D< Just...FYL. Have fun. :]
caancoha 0
Peroxide.. lol. Thanks. Great start to my day. <: