Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. As soon as I began to climax, he started repeatedly asking, "Are you done? Are you done yet? Are you done?" Well, NOW I am. Thanks, honey. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I told him, he impatiently said, "Is it over yet?" FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. I started to moan right when I was about to climax. He got worried, stopped and asked, "Are you okay?!" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML
Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML
Today, while I was having sex, he stopped, looked at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?" FML
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Top comments
mk58 31
I'm speaking for many women here, but at least you get to reach CLOSE to an ******...
DocBastard 40
Wow, what a generous guy. I bet he also offers to finish your fries before you're done with them. You know, out of the goodness of his heart.
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Comments (126)
roadie143 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you must be boring..
mauk 0
^ are you done?
aceman1992 9
Op who's your boyfriend, Sandusky?
Turboblaze 0
Sex is NOT boring
DrDilllonReese 12
54- that may be the single most miserable attempt at a joke in the history of mankind. Bow your head in shame
aceman1992 9
*bows head* I admit defeat.
mfjkr 10
I used to have sex, then I got an arrow to the knee.
broomsarecool 0
Has no one thought maybe he was trying to be considerate
Humanspider 18
Maybe she is
umm_Talk 9
It was nice of him to ask.
Missy612 14
How is anything that has to do with sex boring??Give me 2 reasons.Pregnancy and diseases do NOT count.
mk58 31
I'm speaking for many women here, but at least you get to reach CLOSE to an ******...
EvilDave 13
Your guy not getting you off? If you haven't talked to him about it or shown him what you like, then it is your fault.
kooochris1995 14
OP Could be a guy?
mk58 31
At the moment it's not the case, 20, but I've been with several guys who don't understand anything other than their own satisfaction, regardless of how much you make them aware of your unhappiness with the situation. That's why they're all exes now!
MizzErikaHart 8
32, after you made that point, I scrolled up and read the fml with a lisp and it became way funnier to me. Thanks!
JinxosGirl87 0
I make myself ******, actually. I think thoughts that turn me on and in no time it happens. My BF might feel slightly used though.... :|
Dewgongong 0
I find that I reach ****** usually at the same time my boyfriend does... We don't last long, haha.
SookyTurner 4
94 nothing wrong with that as long as yous both do it. OP youll know when shes done lol
DocBastard 40
Wow, what a generous guy. I bet he also offers to finish your fries before you're done with them. You know, out of the goodness of his heart.
BeefyQueef 5
Or maybe he's just hungry, and not for fish tacos. Sandwiches don't make themselves.
akayc32 0
18, sammiches better than sex? FYL.
JurassicHole 5
29- Weird how jokes work.
akayc32 0
43, tell me more..
ucansuckit12 0
More like goodness of his dick
BeefyQueef 5
29- well obviously in this case, yes, sandwiches are better than sex
2dog 15
Wow you must be boring
mk58 31
I'm getting déjà vu here for some reason...
unluckiestperson_fml 14
Wow what a douche. Keep asking him if he's done, that should bug him.
EvilDave 13
Actually, that sounds exactly like what might have been happening. Think about it for a few minutes.
Donniehw 5
I clicked on your profile because I liked your picture... Your life obviously doesn't suck of only 3 got published.... I'm Scottish too! You seem nice... Your very pretty from what I've seen and have a nice personality... I'm trying to hit on you just telling you my opinion... I love food too... I would emailing but you might think it as creepy if some random guy emailed you out if nowhere... Just read your profile and thought I'd tell you what I thought....
nolarboot 10
97 - I hereby ban you from using ellipsis marks for two months. Cut that shit out.
horrorfreaknj 1
while we all could assume its 'cause your boring, I'm willing to bet it's really because he's immature. On the bright side, this makes it perfectly acceptable for you to cheat on him. (Today's adolescent males are quite possibly more useless than all those before them, so it's not as if they have 'feelings' or deserve to be treated with respect)
peepeeparee 0
I'm hoping your comment was thickly ladeled with sarcasm. Otherwise, cheating on him because he decided to be a douche and stunt her climax isn't an exception. It's WAY more fun to plot and carry out revenge, lol.
DocBastard 40
Horrorfreaknj, it seems the idiocy of Jersey Shore is rubbing off on you and caused you to completely lose your ******* mind. There isn't a single thing in your comment with which I agree.
hamncheeseinit 6
8 is a f$&@ing bitch I bet she cheats on guys all the time you ska?kÿ whœr
permannator 10
Dude... Wtf..
horrorfreaknj 1
I really didn't expect anyone to agree with it. Nor do I expect anyone to agree with my idea for my "No Child Left Alive" Policy which encourages people to stop making excuses for the socially akward young men of this generation (never before has a generation been so useless & expendable) & instead encourages people to let the kids kill themselves. Harsh ? Perhaps ...
perdix 31
Well, now you know to not go on a long car trip with him! My dirty talk is: "Is this real or fake? Real or Fake? Real or Fake?" It's not working out so good. Curiosity kills the cat . . . and the pussy.
SpruceDread4578 13
Or..go on the trip and totally ruin it with nonstop talking.
DQEight 8
Is this all there is? (lol)
racrbryce325 0
Clever, cause cats are pussys ha
peepeeparee 0
Well... if I were you, next time you two are doing the dirty... right as he's about to climax, hop off and go make yourself a sandwich. Upon returning, ask if he's done yet. Perhaps that'll begin to get the point across.
rattusrattus 19
Don't make a sandwich for him though. Men who cannot (or do not) please women do not deserve sandwiches!
GP14brBaller 5
He could just use his right hand for the remainder of the time. Or left. Either way.
gioo_fml 6
Awesome
ellakacyme22 6
That would have just put me right off and then I will be pissed at him by calling him little wille
Steve95401 49
Talk about killing the mood!