When I try to quit junk food By Lewis - 08/12/2018 18:00 I'm not a quitter! I agree, your life sucks 282 You deserved it 94 Share Tweet Share
Today, I received gorgeous orchids from my long distance boyfriend. I was excited about it and told my parents. They still are convinced I have no boyfriend and I mailed the flowers to myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 937 You deserved it 4 039
Today, I went to pick my date up at her house. When I got to the door, her dad answered. We talked for a little bit and he told me to take his 1958 Corvette. I politely refused and he told me, "If I can trust you with my daughter, I can trust you with my car." I crashed into his mailbox. FML I agree, your life sucks 20 669 You deserved it 40 247
Today, I set an alarm to wake up for a football match. I woke up after it finished. Turns out, I set my alarm to 12:15 p.m. instead of a.m. I ended up missing one of my team's best performances. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 118 You deserved it 1 530
Today, I'm so broke after my recent divorce that I stole toilet paper from my church. I'm the pastor. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 999 You deserved it 364
Today, after many days of glances, smiles, and small talk, I tried to kiss a man from my gym in the parking lot. He dodged and asked why. I said I thought it was what he wanted, given his apparent interest. He said that he's only like that because he does missionary work, and wanted to become a friend. I'm a man. FML I agree, your life sucks 220 You deserved it 844
Today, all I want is someone to talk to. The only person who ever responds is my ex-fiance who cheated on me. Multiple times. FML I agree, your life sucks 415 You deserved it 120
Yup that's me when there is white chocolate in the house 😋