Health, Wake up, Painful and Parents: WAKEY WAKEY

WAKEY WAKEY

By izaya - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Muskogee

Today, I woke up with a electric dog collar on my neck. I wouldn't have noticed it until my stepfather turned the collar to the highest intensity just to wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 904

You deserved it 2 199

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Top comments

YveltalLugia 17

Monday 6 July 2015 10:02

You should probably talk to someone, notably the cops.

pabj208 23

Monday 6 July 2015 10:00

That's assault...

Comments

sandman676 20

Monday 6 July 2015 11:09

Hahaha I laughed so hard

Abhinow 7

Monday 6 July 2015 11:12

they want you to 'bow'

thesinginguy 18

Monday 6 July 2015 11:21

Call CPS on his ass.

Cads1 24

Monday 6 July 2015 11:50

Sounds like a classic to me. I have not laughed so hard in a long time.

hoodgirl101 12

Monday 6 July 2015 11:56

Kinky

terrybear27 6

Monday 6 July 2015 11:56

You should have started pretending to have a seizure and when he went to help you punch him in the face

Vegetarian27 24

Monday 6 July 2015 12:46

What the ****

afrostybird 25

Monday 6 July 2015 12:55

Pretty sure this classes as child abuse. Call the police OP!

patwo8 14

Monday 6 July 2015 12:57

That sucks

grimlock718 10

Monday 6 July 2015 13:21

put the collar on him but also glue his hands together and just shock him all day

Keywords

Awkward Love Embarrassing Public freakouts Family Weddings AITA Bodyshaming Cops Cars Transportation Sexism Kids Relatable Work Health Growing old Mental health Animals Cats Periods Job interview Education Social Media Stalker Instagram Phobias Spiders Ironic Ecology

The Top

Today, my sister is furious with me and said i will never see my nieces again. Last weekend, while I babysat for her, I taught them the meaning of veganism and animal rights, even showing them a few videos about the meat and dairy industry, and how the animals are kept and treated. Now she won’t speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 3 449

Today, we were supposed to go on a weekend camping trip with our Scout troop. On Thursday I wasn't feeling well but I made it through school okay. Dad forced me to pack up immediately after school, even though I felt worse. I threw up on the porch on the way out. Dad thinks I did this on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 46

The Top

Today, I told my crush, who I've liked for a while, that I liked him. He looked at me in pure terror and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 022

You deserved it 381

Today, I drove home on my birthday, and my mom said she'd meet me there. I was a little surprised to get home and find she wasn't there, but even more shocked to see my rabbit run over in my driveway. Turns out he'd gotten loose and my mom had run him over, panicked, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 108

You deserved it 2 414

Today, my new boyfriend asked why it takes me so long to reach orgasm. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he's never even given me one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 956

You deserved it 7 297

Today, a stranger was kind enough to plow my driveway during a blizzard. However, they were not kind enough to leave their number after plowing the front end of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 851

You deserved it 2 776

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except that when he did, he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 586

You deserved it 4 199

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Not for cheating or for flirting, but because I wear tighty whities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 259

You deserved it 22 908