By JEHR - Canada - Prince George
Today, while taking my toddler for a walk with the dog, he threw a tantrum and rammed one well-aimed finger directly up the poor dog's pooper. FML
JEHR tells us more :
OP here to answer some of your burning questions. Really, FML for all involved, but the crown goes to the dog. He isn’t butthurt about it anymore. I watched for blood and any signs of pain in his next stool because I know what sharp, jabby appendages toddler fingers are and it was like any other shit. He also received boiled chicken breast to alleviate the emotional trauma and a lot of praise for his stand-up response to the whole shit show. To clarify a few others and add some detail: 1. No one got bit. I’ve got a hell of a bombproof dog and he and the kid are tight. He did leap like a gazelle though. Fair to say he was surprised. 2. Wet wipes are a parent’s best friend. Too bad I only had spit and a Kleenex. 3. The amateur veterinarian’s diagnosis was ‘stinky.’ And he wasn’t very happy about it. 4. I don’t know if some people are aware but toddlers tend to throw high emotion, physically aggressive tantrums because they are developmentally limited in their ability to appreciate consequences, exercise restraint, and use non-physical methods to express themselves, especially when upset. It’s normal, he’s two, that’s what they do. 5. This was his first anal offense although he’s previously expressed interest in the brown hole that he’s not allowed to touch ever since he came to be eye level with it. He really had no appreciation of what he was doing and how it would affect the dog. 6. But yes, he did receive ‘discipline’ in the form of a calm, firm reprimand for acting in violence and, when he calmed down enough, a limited discussion of appropriate behaviour and a teachable moment where he came to understand that he had hurt our dog. Little guy was upset by it and apologetic. It went way better than anticipated. 7. People who think children suck for reasons such as this undervalue the insane mileage I’m going to get out of this one for years to come. 8. He’s a really awesome kid with a good heart, but human (surprise). I’m actually pretty sad Trip didn’t add anything but #14 gave me a laugh. I also don't know what he's going to be a 'social path' quite means, but I'm alright if he turns out extroverted.
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Top comments
  amandasoushek  |  16

50- I would assume it was the episode where Brian has to take rectally-inserted pills for his alcoholism, and Peter tries to shove it up his ass then Brian bites him. Brian has to go to obedience school then comes home and is super submissive

  species4872  |  19

The benefits far outway the disadvantages for most people. It's not like this kind of thing happens all the time.
Anyway judging if you want kids or not by how other peoples kids act is not sound and you should not be put off by it., It is a decision which should come from a genuine desire for them.
I personally dislike kids, however your own kids does change your perceptions and attitude. I would not be without our rather large brood of them. It is very satisfying to watch and help them grow and become their own person despite all the obstacles that they and you will encounter along the way. They can bring out the very best in you.

  SquilliamFancy  |  15

Wow, relax Shakespeare. Everyone is entitled to an opinion without needing a textbook of reasons as to why they're wrong.

Lord. Take it down a notch. We're on FML, for christs sake.

  species4872  |  19

If you had read it properly I wasn't saying they are wrong. Each to their own.