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Ihavelike3bucks

Today, when calling out of work, I was told by my boss that I was "full of shit" before he hung up. I actually am. I haven't pooped in almost four days. FML

Ihavelike3bucks tells us more.

Of course out of all the FMLs I've submitted through the years - this is the one that went through. Anyway, I'm better now! On top of that, I got hit with the flu like a truck. No laxatives, stool softeners, magnesium, enemas, etc helped and between that circle of hell I ended up going to the ER. Ended up literally tearing myself a new one with an anal fissure. I've never been constipated before so this was awful. Oh also my first day back, our entire building was shut down and we all were laid off. Happy Holidays everyone!

Collection

Wild Nights Out

Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.

Top comments

That's what Taco Bell is for.

MiraLAX and then relax on the porcelain throne

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Comments (22)

....4 days is nothing. Try chronic constipation some time.

That's what Taco Bell is for.