Today My sister made slime, in fear of it drying out she went... - FML

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By Anonymous - 06/10/2017 08:47

Today My sister made slime, in fear of it drying out she went and found a container. The same container that held my precious stone collection. I had been collecting these rocks for 5 years plus had rocks shipped in from all over the world. She tipped the rocks out and lost them.They are gone. FML.

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vote type 1 8

End-of-year festivities: New Year's Eve fun and frolics
End the year on a high note with anecdotes where every New Year's Eve firecracker is synonymous with laughter! More…

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Today, I had to find a date for this banquet we did in my town every year. I paid my neighbor 40 bucks an hour to be my date. It was a 4 hour event. Best part: she got drunk and told the whole town I was paying her. FML

agreeclassic 18 910

vote type 1 59 703

Today, I took my date ice skating, even though I’m terrible at it. I always knew I had shit balance, but I practically spent the entire time clinging to the wall, while she glided gracefully around me like an Olympic skater. At one point, she laughed and said, "You’re graceful like a cat… slipping across a frozen patio!" FML

agreeclassic 167

vote type 1 355

Today, I got a wax to be sexy for my date, but the whole area came up in this nasty rash with bumps and white spots, nasty as hell. When I told him sex was off the table for a few days, he stopped being charming, spent most of the night on his phone then left early with a bad excuse. FML

agreeclassic 1 582

vote type 1 296

Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML

agreeclassic 53 063

vote type 1 2 909

Today, my Marine friend got back from his tour of duty overseas. We went out for drinks to celebrate his return. His own form of celebration was to pick a fight with a returning Navy SEAL and his friends. We lost. Badly. FML

agreeclassic 34 374

vote type 1 14 147

Today, I realized that I’ve been using the same alarm clock ringtone for so long that I now associate it with pure dread, even when I hear it being used in movies. FML

agreeclassic 397

vote type 1 124