Today, in a fit of jealousy over my recent muscle growth, my brother told our mom that I've only been going to the gym so I could smoke weed with my friends. She believed him and grounded me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom accused me of smoking weed. Truth is, I'd just ripped the quietest and weirdest smelling fart of my life. She wouldn't believe me, accused me of making stupid excuses up, and grounded me. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
Today, my dad found out I recently tried weed. He called me a useless waste of air and grounded me for the rest of the year. Then he went outside and smoked his third cigarette of the morning. FML
Today, I tried to blackmail my dad by threatening to tell mom about the bong and weed he keeps hidden in the garage. Turns out she already knew about it and neither of them give a shit. Now I'm grounded until the new year. FML
Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML
Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML
Today, my mom grounded me for smoking cigarettes. I'm 13. I don't smoke. She said she smelled it on my clothes. I laughed and said I was in the basement, and used one of my dad's cig's to simulate a house on fire on my train layout. She didn't believe me. Honestly, I wouldn't believe that story either. FML
Today, I woke up early, went to the gym, then came home and showered. When I went into my room to change, my mom woke up and started pounding on my door, screaming about how lazy and useless I was for sleeping so late. When I tried to tell her otherwise, she grounded me for "talking back". FML
Today, my mom found out about my brother smoking. She calmly discussed smoking with him. On the other hand, I got yelled at and made to do chores all day despite having a university exam, just because I knew about it but I didn't tell her, because I knew that I would get the short end of the stick. FML
Today, I baked some brownies and after my mom ate one, I joked that I put weed in them. Turns out the placebo effect's a bitch, because she quickly started acting high as a kite. One bitch fit later, the brownies are in the trash and I'm grounded until I tell her where I bought the "weed". FML
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Top comments
Dark__Angel66 24
Even though you're grounded, don't let that stop you from working out! Congrats for all your hard work, don't let your brother's jealousy get in the way :)
lanco_fml 10
stay true to your self and out a breeding on your brother
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Comments (77)
DWordHead16 19
I think that's completely unfair for her to just go based on his words like that. "Oh your brother told me you're smoking weed, so you obviously are." And well if you're growing, I don't see how she would believe him...
BriCx 8
Maybe she thought if he was smoking weed, he was using steroids too.
Dracid 4
**** em. as a fellow lifter all you can do is keep at it and leave the haters in the dust. family or not
Anthony805 8
Get condoms, ********** with one on and when you're done, simply drop it on the floor in his room. Then tell your mom. Lets see who gets in trouble then
starile 20
Don't get mad, get even!
nhbasskid13 23
And then leave a bag of prescription pills under his bed.
DKjazz 20
Don't get mad, get off!
stclair01 12
You may be grounded but who's the hot one of the family now huh
rt156 16
Where does your mom think you got all that muscle from
RoboCunnilingus 23
The new strain of cannabis with increased protein.
eddeeezzyy 19
I can see 20's comment being on a Family Guy or South Park episode lol
Dashelle 25
Beat him up with your awesome new muscles
junkman6 22
Now go take some boxing lessons and give your brother a 30 second tune up for being a jealous child.
erin37 27
Do weights at home. Don't let him oppress you!
davincidasecond 24
Keep working hard buddy. Don't let your jealous ass of a brother keep you from reaching your goals.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Tell her to go back and have the gym run their cameras. Problem solved.
BriCx 8
Because they take time out of their schedule to review footage for just anyone who asks...