Miscellaneous: Today, I was cooking dinner when I set off the fire alarm in... - FML

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By Josè - 19/09/2016 22:57 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cooking dinner when I set off the fire alarm in my flat building. The neighbour from upstairs run down in a blind panic knocking on everyone's door and managing to smash the fire box that has left the fire alarm ringing continuously for the past 3 hrs. FML

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bob_tho_goldfish 16

Wednesday 21 September 2016 17:18

At least you're safe with a neighbor like that

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bob_tho_goldfish 16

Wednesday 21 September 2016 17:18

At least you're safe with a neighbor like that

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, after years of crushing over my best friend, I finally got the guts to tell her about my feelings, only to find out she has been secretly dating my roommate. I could not have been more depressed. My whole life feels shattered. FML

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vote type 1 336

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

agreeclassic 51 174

vote type 1 8 165

Today, I was caught trying to use the employee bathroom at the back of the store when an employee asked if I worked there. I responded with, “Oh what? Are you a hall monitor? That’s what I thought!” but ended up bumping into a corner and my nose started bleeding. FML

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vote type 1 1 668

Today, my manager gave me hell for leaving the restaurant early yesterday. Guilty as charged, but only because I was rushed to the hospital after going into diabetic shock. This assmunch is convinced that I either faked it all to get off work early, or that I'd been eating our own stock. FML

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vote type 1 2 366

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

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Today, as always, I wore a pin at work with the rainbow infinity symbol to indicate that I'm autistic. A creepy male customer came in and, thinking it was a gay pride pin, started hitting on me and making inappropriate comments. He just wouldn't stop, no matter how much I tried to explain. The police were called. FML

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vote type 1 206