Animals: Today, I tried to scare what I thought was a stray cat away from...

17/09/2014 03:18 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I tried to scare what I thought was a stray cat away from my friend's car in our work parking garage by hitting the panic button on his keys, which did, indeed, make the creature panic. That's when I learned it was not a cat. It was a skunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 378

You deserved it 13 724

blazon_paradox tells us more.

blazon_paradox 23

Send a private message

Wednesday 17 September 2014 18:44

In the area I live and work it's very possible that a stray cat will be less than healthy. And as I own two cats I also don't want to carry fleas or ticks home to them. Also, and mostly this I think, I don't want to be attacked by a rabid animal- Adorable kitten or otherwise.

Animals

Stop talking!

Another great day to be alive

Walk on the wild side

19/12/2011 01:52 - Canada

Today, I went with my friend door-to-door selling chocolates. We went to the first house, and the guy decided to buy a chocolate from each of us. He didn't have change and neither did we, so he just took the chocolates and slammed the door in our face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 851

You deserved it 7 012

14/01/2013 15:47 - United States - Ben Wheeler

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 555

You deserved it 3 571

13/11/2012 07:36 - United States

Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 937

You deserved it 5 311

24/05/2015 00:58 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I missed the spider but succeeded in keying my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 737

You deserved it 25 333

04/03/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, at a red light, an old lady crossing the street fell right infront of my car. I got out of my car to help her. The light turned green and I was still helping the woman to her feet. An officer came by and ticketed me for "impeding the flow of traffic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 895

You deserved it 3 487

02/06/2010 02:34 - France

Today, my boyfriend was talking to me on the land line when his cell phone rang. He told me to wait "two seconds" while he talked to a classmate. Their "two second" conversation lasted ten minutes, and now I can hear the French Open on the TV in background. He forgot he was talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 121

You deserved it 4 453

04/08/2011 06:00 - United States

Today, I was caught whacking off by my mother. She now takes every free moment of her time to read extracts from the Bible to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 061

You deserved it 12 871

22/04/2016 03:30 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, I celebrated my friend's birthday. While everyone was completely wasted, a couple of friends suggested that I throw a pie in the birthday boy's face. Only seconds after doing so did I realize that the centre of the pie had still been burning hot, since he screamed in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 615

You deserved it 12 148

20/11/2009 13:56 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boss listens to the things we say about him on the audio-enabled cameras at our work. I'm thus currently jobless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 060

You deserved it 40 571

03/05/2009 06:17 - United States

Today, I got a cross-country job promotion. I decided to plan my Going-Away-Forever party, and bought a pack of 100 invitations. After mailing them out to all my friends, I have 92 left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 908

You deserved it 13 119

18/09/2014 04:05 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I found out I'm allergic to bug repellent. So instead of having a couple of itchy bug bites, my skin feels like it's on fire and is violently itchy everywhere the repellent has touched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 807

You deserved it 2 960

Halloween, the long wait

By androidjezus - 03/11/2019 18:30

Today, I asked my girlfriend to get a bunch of candy for our first Halloween at our new house, so she got $60 worth. We got into an argument about who was going to give it out. It’s now 9 p.m. No one came to our door all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 687

You deserved it 437

08/11/2018 05:00

Today, my mum put up a sticky fly trap to try get rid of our fly problem. My phone started ringing and I jogged to answer it, but my hair got suck in the trap. My mum had to pull my hair out of the sticky mess and pick dead fly bodies out of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 292

You deserved it 375

Noise annoys

By Anonymous - 16/05/2019 18:00

Today, my little brother got a violin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 663

You deserved it 270

06/11/2018 13:30

Today, I got a blue screen of death on my brand new computer. Why? My parents installed an "anti-virus" before I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 942

You deserved it 224

Lovely Rita

By Greg - 29/08/2020 05:01

Today, I went to lunch with a friend in her car. I told her to park in a lot that had signs warning that we'd be towed, saying, "They never tow anyone from here. In fact, if you get towed, I'll pay for it." When we returned, her car was gone. I had to pay $145 in cash to get it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 3 464

31/10/2018 17:30

Today, it's Halloween. I get bullied every day and this was no exception, but this time I got beat up so hard I bled. Everyone thought it was part of my costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 936

You deserved it 187

31/10/2010 09:05 - United States

Today, while setting up for a party I was having, I put black lights into our bathroom for the cool bright, neon color you get when you pee. When I turn them on to see where I need to continue cleaning, I see many, small, yellow hand prints on the walls. I have a nine year old brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 343

You deserved it 3 295

05/12/2013 22:26 - United States - Wharton

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 428

You deserved it 24 293

09/12/2008 13:50 - France

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I crunched my pen and crushed my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 310

You deserved it 6 670

18/08/2010 12:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. 15 Minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 409

You deserved it 13 057

06/07/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 148

You deserved it 228

14/11/2012 01:03 - United States - Trenton

Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 960

You deserved it 31 292

So, are you in or are you out?

By The Fishing Pole - 15/06/2017 18:00

Today, I told my long time crush, "I love you," in an elaborate way. She replied, "What an interesting perspective." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 699

You deserved it 751

11/06/2013 04:12 - Canada - Kingston

Today, as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father, I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg, twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 901

You deserved it 4 716

23/04/2019 12:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, I'm stuck in bed with a fever, aches, and nasty cough. My kids and husband had it too, and kept coughing without covering their mouths, despite my asking several times so I wouldn't get sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 353

21/02/2012 11:49 - United States

Today, I spent my day creating a new type of laugh, and performing it in my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 125

You deserved it 13 945

15/02/2013 18:50 - Norway - Troms?

Today, my mum got the idea of switching to a different dishwashing detergent. The new one is so strong that it coats all the dishes in a nauseating perfume-like smell. It's so pungent that it gets absorbed into everything we eat or drink. She's determined to use up the entire bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 110

You deserved it 2 311

23/05/2016 11:57 - United States - Severn

Today, while in class, my friend would not stop annoying me by tapping me on the shoulder every so often. After the fifth time, I lost my patience, told him to F off, and slapped his hand. Only it wasn't my friend tapping my shoulder this time, it was my teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 266

You deserved it 2 382

05/04/2019 18:00

Today, I realised how little my husband trusts me after I told him I was pregnant and the first words out of his mouth were, “Is it mine?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 419

You deserved it 399

Bad day

By gwen - 13/04/2021 08:00 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I found out I have Covid. Also, the police kicked me out of the hotel I'm quarantining in. This is still not my worst birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 82

05/09/2014 18:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I just got back from a two week vacation. I live with six people and only the dog was happy to see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 916

You deserved it 3 575

13/02/2013 16:45 - United States - Florence

Today, I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me, and is telling everyone they have, or will receive brain damage soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 314

You deserved it 28 925

01/03/2010 21:55 - United States

Today, I found a $100 bill on the ground and was thinking, "I'm so lucky!!" I opened my wallet to find that $300 was missing. I looked back and saw some guy picking up $300. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 152

You deserved it 7 063

05/02/2010 06:25 - United States

Today, one of my friends pointed out I'm starting to get a mustache! - "You're finally a man!" To bad it's my 15th birthday, and I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 116

You deserved it 3 562

05/05/2009 10:32 - United States

Today, I was insulted online by a teenager who said that I was probably a fat loser that still lives with their mother and a couple of cats. They were right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 190

You deserved it 58 269

26/11/2015 15:20 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my housemate walked out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in his mouth and asked, "You're not one of those people who cares if someone uses their toothbrush, are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 576

You deserved it 1 572

01/06/2009 07:05 - Korea Republic of

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 127

You deserved it 5 279

02/12/2010 01:14 - United States

Today, my grandma was leaning over in front of me, vacuuming, while wearing a v-neck shirt. Out of instinct, I glanced at her chest. She's 75. I checked out my 75 year old grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 613

You deserved it 60 359

28/11/2008 06:30 - France

Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 824

You deserved it 7 570

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Welshite 39

Send a private message

Wednesday 17 September 2014 16:27

Pepé Le Pew doesn't like his romantic nights interrupted.

blazon_paradox 23

Send a private message

Wednesday 17 September 2014 18:44

LebanonBaby 26

Send a private message

Wednesday 17 September 2014 16:27

That stinks.. Literally

alaen23 23

Send a private message

Wednesday 17 September 2014 19:20

Though you try and come up with cute idiotic puns, people here will eat it up and poop it out into negative stuff so quickly you will be terrified.

domking1315 20

Send a private message

Wednesday 17 September 2014 19:33

No thats just so over used on this site

weveallbeenthere 30

Send a private message

Wednesday 17 September 2014 21:34

it is overused but I still liked it. but it's not as bad as " that's shitty" every time someone mentions poop.

Welshite 39

Send a private message

Wednesday 17 September 2014 16:27

Pepé Le Pew doesn't like his romantic nights interrupted.

MrSassypants 32

Send a private message

Wednesday 17 September 2014 17:10

There's a question being asked trying to figure out whether cats or skunks are better at sex? Oh, Internet, you never fail to surprise.

Ray_of_midnight 22

Send a private message

Wednesday 17 September 2014 18:25

Pepe is always confusing cats and skunks, to the distress of the cats who are the objects of his affection.

MrSassypants 32

Send a private message

Wednesday 17 September 2014 22:37

Oh, then I apologize to #6 for my unnecessary sass.

ohSNAPyall 26

Send a private message

Thursday 18 September 2014 3:01

Did that need to be explained? Is there someone here who has never seen Looney Tunes?

mld4657 28

Send a private message

Wednesday 17 September 2014 16:29

looks like a smelly situation all around because you probably would of gotten sprayed regardless. sorry op

adamzki1999 16

Send a private message

Wednesday 17 September 2014 16:40

Reported

Chibi_Kitten 24

Send a private message

Wednesday 17 September 2014 16:43

You might want to go buy a lot of tomatoes. I hear that juiced tomatoes work like a charm for skunk odor.

karly55 12

Send a private message

Wednesday 17 September 2014 20:46

They don't. Trust me. I've tried.

weirdly_cute 11

Send a private message

Wednesday 17 September 2014 16:45

Skunks are often mistaken for cats but you figure that out when it's to late sadly. Bathe in tomato juice it's supposed to help with the odor

Godsofdracos 15

Send a private message

Wednesday 17 September 2014 17:44

Unless they make a tomato juice car wash don't think that'll help :(

sempisaviour 17

Send a private message

Wednesday 17 September 2014 19:19

#23 That was perfect.

chinaski7628 32

Send a private message

Thursday 18 September 2014 3:25

Tomato juice did not help at all when my dog and I got sprayed. It might work if there's been minimum and indirect exposure, but not direct contact.

Godsofdracos 15

Send a private message

Friday 19 September 2014 22:25

It works if you take a bath in it and let it soak in a bit, you have to give it time to remove the particles that cause the smell. Just rubbing it on it won't work.