Today I met with my ex girlfriend who left me 8 months ago and...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 12/03/2019 22:00

Today I met with my ex girlfriend who left me 8 months ago and then met a coworker I had a drunk one night stand with 5 months ago to try and get over my ex. They’re both pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 1 309

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Top comments

Mayaaaaaaaaa 12

Tuesday 12 March 2019 22:14

Not the brightest bulb on the vanity mirror then are ya

inappropes 31

Tuesday 12 March 2019 22:19

My months of being on this God awfully moderated site have granted me the knowledge to read this.

Comments

jriley4u 17

Wednesday 13 March 2019 4:11

C. O. N. D. O. M.

tounces7 27

Wednesday 13 March 2019 6:21

So...how far along are they?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was driving when a couple flipped the bird on me before cutting me off, so I flipped them off back. After they'd got away, another driver thought I'd actually been flipping him off and followed me into a parking lot. This guy was huge, and let’s just say he didn’t give me a chance to explain myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 314

Today, I took a shower in a beach house we're renting for the week. Once I get out, I realize the house doesn't supply towels, my entire family was outside in the front yard, my phone was upstairs, and there are no blinds. I stood under a ceiling fan naked for 20 minutes trying to dry off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 145

You deserved it 15 163

The Top

Today, I was down the pub with a mate and we got onto the subject of bar fights. I said I thought being glassed wouldn't actually hurt that much. My friend looks at me, calmly finishes his pint and then swiftly smashes his glass over my head. Turns out I was wrong. And we got kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 564

You deserved it 35 748

Today, I went to visit my grandparents, as my grandmother may not have long left. When my stepfather wasn't grilling my visibly uncomfortable grandad about Bible passages, my mother was trauma-dumping about how hard her life has been, and how awful her marriage to my father was. They're his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 71

Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 938

You deserved it 36 835

Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 199

You deserved it 36 688

Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 180

You deserved it 8 984

Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 240