Well, at least there's some creature who gives a rat's ass.

Partial credit for a correct use of "literally!" The figure of speech is "crawling up my ass," and you would have been a hero to us "literally" fundamentalists had you referenced that.

sure

Your ass must taste amazing if your rat is trying to eat it

Why is your pet rat running around free to crawl up your ass and why don't you know your pet's gender?

Would referring to the rat as he/she make this any more palatable?

There are so many questions... I literally can't function....

Why were you naked, in the shower, with your pet rat?!

wha-huh did it succeeed

Why in the living hell was your pet rat... er... never mind. I think I'll have a happier life if I don't know the answer to that question.

How deep did it get in?

kinky.