By Anonymous - 03/12/2017 00:30 - United Kingdom - Poole

Today, a gothic 16-year-old with a bread knife tried to mug me. After warning her to back off multiple times, I punched her in the face. She ran off crying and reported me to the police. They don't believe my side of the story. FML
I agree, your life sucks 4 963
You deserved it 289


PhantomCrevan 8

... why does this post give me a sense of dèjá vu...?

PhantomCrevan 8

And I realized why. The same thing happened to one of my high school teachers back... twenty something years ago when he went to the U.K. Apparently this is a fairly common issue.

exileonmainst 16

I guess you’re a bit rye-led up huh? But there’s no need to worry, at least you have all your dough.

She didn’t get any of your bread? Not even a pumpernickel!?!?

exileonmainst 16

She got none of the bread. But I think he has crust issues now.

Next time just sucker punch the little brat

neuronerd 28

That's... that's what he did...

Did you stop reading after the first sentence

Mathalamus 24

Why didn't you simply run? I expected that to happen 100%. Why didn't you?

That's when you say, in your best Austrian accent, "that's not a knife, THIS is a knife!" Then you pull out a steak knife.

If the knife wasn’t lost, turn it into the police as evidence. Hopefully her fingerprints will be on it if she wasn’t wearing gloves.

I have questions. Did you like... just stand there and wait while she went to get the cops and came back?