By FML Videos Sports Struggles Sucking at something is the first step towards being sorta good at something! 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nurse - Reserved Today, I'm training to be a nurse in a hospital. Our teacher asked for a volunteer to demonstrate how bed restraints work. After I was shackled to the bed she said, "Now let's make sure they work. Are you ticklish?" My entire class tickled me until I screamed, cried and nearly wet my pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 37366 You deserved it 5252 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Sweden - V?llingby Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML I agree, your life sucks 10173 You deserved it 39559 233 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lsta - United States Today, I donated blood for the first time, and all the nurses kept complimenting on how good my veins were. That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in the past 2 months. FML I agree, your life sucks 55938 You deserved it 4408 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sugar - United Kingdom Today, British Telecom disconnected my landline by mistake. Their call centre in India tried to reach me. Result, they spoke to an unknown gentleman, who told them he didn't need a phone line at my address. Reconnection in 2 business days. FML I agree, your life sucks 24508 You deserved it 2254 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By manksy - United Kingdom Today, when I was unpacking all of my stuff, my parents declared that they are going to live in Australia, and have found me a 'friend'. I am a 14 year old girl at boarding school, and my friend is my new foster mum. FML I agree, your life sucks 50880 You deserved it 2847 258 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Middletown Today, my live-in mother-in-law brazenly swiped most of the money from my wallet, then walked out of the room as if nothing had happened. The worst thing is that my wife believes anything she says, so I can't do a damn thing about it. FML I agree, your life sucks 44518 You deserved it 4552 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Gosh Darn Phone Thief - 11/12/2020 23:02 Get 'em! Today, somebody grabbed my phone out of my hands and ran away with it. I'm a cross country runner, albeit one with stress fractures, but I was able to catch up with them and get my phone back. Unfortunately, the running aggravated my stress fractures and I have to get a plaster cast. Merry fricking Christmas. FML I agree, your life sucks 1003 You deserved it 65 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Thomasville That's not a child, that's a bio-hazard! Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 3687 You deserved it 774 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By woahlaura - United States - Houston Today, I gave my boyfriend a $300 cooler for Valentine's Day. When I asked what he got me, he pointed at my stomach. I'm 3 months pregnant with his baby. FML I agree, your life sucks 21658 You deserved it 3351 89 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Alexandra - Lebanon Today, I surprised my boyfriend by buying him an expensive watch for his birthday. He responded with "Aww, you could've just given me head, babe." FML I agree, your life sucks 37460 You deserved it 8927 224 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By K. - United States Today, my dad demonstrated just how incredibly illiterate he is. He sent me a chain email about the awful lives of people with "Asparagus syndrome". FML I agree, your life sucks 28764 You deserved it 3702 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hazeblaze Today, I noticed that my dad's Whatsapp profile picture was a very close up shot of his new wife's boob. None of us know how long he had this online. FML I agree, your life sucks 3026 You deserved it 245 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By me - United States Today, I arrived at the beach for a week's vacation. I walk on the beach only to find they are "rebuilding" it. They have heavy machinery all over the place, they work 24/7, and this only happens every 15 years. Glad I picked this week. FML I agree, your life sucks 29896 You deserved it 3701 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Female - Australia - Elsternwick Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML I agree, your life sucks 43728 You deserved it 2802 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Oh hello there Today, I accidentally left my Nintendo 3DS at the barbershop, so I rushed back to get it. The 60-year-old barber had destroyed it with a hammer, saying it was a weapon of the devil. I was gone 5 minutes. FML I agree, your life sucks 3992 You deserved it 585 31 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Slayer - Canada Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML I agree, your life sucks 10533 You deserved it 35482 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dxplq876 - United States Today, I was walking out of the grocery store and out of no where, a car backing up pretty fast speeds downs the parking lot and hits me, causing me to fall down and drop all of the groceries. The woman jumped out of her car, not to help me, but to carefully check her bumper for scratches. FML I agree, your life sucks 111712 You deserved it 4650 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Error! Today, I called my cell phone tech support to help with my Samsung device. They sent me contact info for Apple support. FML I agree, your life sucks 1408 You deserved it 221 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Gus - Canada - Richmond Today, my girlfriend confronted me for forgetting to take the trash out. At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped my lips. She spent the next ten minutes calling me stupid and laughing at how my grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed. FML I agree, your life sucks 22206 You deserved it 4931 161 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Japan Today, I broke up with the girl I'd been dating for two months because she started smoking. This is a deal breaker for me. I just found out from her friend that she started smoking for the sole purpose of getting me to break it off and now plans to quit. FML I agree, your life sucks 47512 You deserved it 7849 182 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By zippersaremoreimportantthansentiments - United States - Montgomery Today, for our anniversary, I sang my boyfriend a heartfelt, self-written song. The first thing he said when I finished was "Your fly is open." FML I agree, your life sucks 45079 You deserved it 6385 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By The best method! Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML I agree, your life sucks 2600 You deserved it 787 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Uh oh.... Today, I was awakened by a small scary dark figure approaching me while making creepy noises. I screamed, kicked it away, and buried my face under my pillow. Later, after braving up, I turned on the lights. It was my sick 3-year-old niece, now dazed and coughing blood. FML I agree, your life sucks 1018 You deserved it 2636 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MattClifford - 15/11/2020 17:01 - Australia Great start Today, I passed my driver's test. As I was driving home, I was rear-ended. Rear-ended by the examiner that'd passed me. FML I agree, your life sucks 1155 You deserved it 55 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HelpMe1 - Indonesia - Jakarta Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML I agree, your life sucks 36146 You deserved it 2929 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stillsick - Canada Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML I agree, your life sucks 39224 You deserved it 3197 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I woke up from celebrating my 29th birthday. I guess it's true that tolerance drops quickly as you age, because I stayed in and only drank a few beers with my husband and spent the entire day retching so hard I puked up blood. My partying days are definitely over. FML I agree, your life sucks 2376 You deserved it 374 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Misterhippo - United States Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML I agree, your life sucks 48943 You deserved it 3062 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WakeUpToADream - United States - San Francisco Today, my girlfriend is as punctual as a German train; I woke up to see her taking a dump into a plastic bag in our bedroom, all because my roommate was using the bathroom and she had to leave for work on time. FML I agree, your life sucks 26177 You deserved it 1958 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having 6 gangrenous toes amputated because he hasn't been treating his diabetes properly. Not half an hour after he got home, I caught him sneaking sweets from a hiding place in his toolbox. He's already lost the bag with his medication in it. Again. FML I agree, your life sucks 3383 You deserved it 308 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bam Today, after being told my cellphone was under warranty and would be repaired for free, Samsung received my device, changed their minds, and charged me $636.96 to return my device to me. That's more than the device costs new at this point. FML I agree, your life sucks 3026 You deserved it 188 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hopeless Today, is my birthday. Everyone forgot except my stalker. He rang the door bell the second it turned 12:00. FML I agree, your life sucks 47459 You deserved it 3973 191 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - United States Today, a toddler's play ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML I agree, your life sucks 27643 You deserved it 3865 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - United States Today, I found out that when my room-mate agreed to babysit someone's two year old kid for money, what he really planned on doing was dumping it with me. The kid won't stop crying and screaming. FML I agree, your life sucks 32173 You deserved it 3911 146 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Had any calls lately? Today, I noticed that all 200 remaining business cards out of the 500 that I had made have the wrong phone number on them. FML I agree, your life sucks 771 You deserved it 1278 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By eliteslayer29 - United States Today, I sent my resume to a place where I hoped to work at. Since the job requires me to be doing work on the run, I put on it that I have a laptop. The only problem is that I always thought it was "labtop." I didn't learn the correct spelling until my daughter called me an idiot, she's 6. FML I agree, your life sucks 8435 You deserved it 42771 152 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anon - United States - Southbury Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML I agree, your life sucks 11488 You deserved it 64100 170 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By come on man - United States - Sunnyvale It's the thought that counts Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML I agree, your life sucks 35250 You deserved it 7378 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By imscrewed - Canada - Toronto Today, I realized that my Twitter profile was very public when my business professor made fun of student tweets in class. My tweet went, "Totally bullshitting this business report" about the report I had just handed in, worth a large portion of my grade. FML I agree, your life sucks 15185 You deserved it 85766 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Asia/Pacific Region Today, and pretty much every day, my co-worker takes off her shoes while working. The smell of her feet makes me dizzy. I don't know if she's oblivious to the fact that her feet stink, or she just doesn't care. It's affecting the quality of my work. FML I agree, your life sucks 28935 You deserved it 2962 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, since I've been falling for the girl I've been sleeping with for the past couple of months, I decided it was time for us to talk about making things... I agree, your life sucks 20 You deserved it 31 2 Comments
Today, I'm in love with my best friend, while also being in love with my wife. I know he has feelings for me too. I wish my wife was poly too. FML I agree, your life sucks 113 You deserved it 374 5 Comments