By Zippermania9 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States
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If this started happening to me, I would pretend to be a messanger from god, and have the people of the church perform tasks that I assign to them. When they find out that I have been tricking them, I will say "Shut the fuck up and go complain about it on FML so I can type a comment that says, YDI for being stupid and gullible."
I fall asleep at church all the time!! that hasn't happened before tho o.o maybe because my head always bobs back and forth like when you're asleep and I always lean on someones shoulder so I guess people know I'm sleeping lollll and Jesus FTW he's muh home boy word
I can say from experience that this is a true story. Until they realize you were sleeping the whole time, and then give you angry looks every Sunday afterwards.