Today, I saw a blond-haired guy crouched by my bike fiddling with something as I came back from the shop. Thinking he was a thief, I slammed him across the head with my helmet, knocked him over - then I realised not only was he a kid barely in his teens, he was tying his shoes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML
Today, I was walking home from work going over a railway-bridge, when a 12 year old boy standing at the bottom asks if I could help him carry his bike up, as he couldn't lift it. I did it for him, and was greeted on the other side by his father - who thought I was stealing it and hit me. FML
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
Today, I was cycling home. On the way, my laces got stuck in the bicycle pedals and I couldn't move the foot that got stuck. The bicycle fell over, with me attached to it. Everyone was looking at me like, "What are you doing?" FML
Today, I was sitting on my bike texting when someone snatched my phone and ran. Like an idiot, I jumped off my bike and ran after him. He then ran in a big circle, got on my bike and sped off. FML
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, I had to chase down and tackle a boy (around 11 or 12) at my workplace after I caught him snatching someone's wallet and trying to quickly sneak out with it. Now everyone thinks I have something against children, even after I returned the stranger's wallet and explained that the little brat is a thief. FML
Today, I was riding down a hill on my bike, doing a wheelie, when I lost control and started heading towards a woman on the sidewalk. Don't worry, I didn't hit her, the man beside her lunged and shoved my bike so hard that I hit concrete and broke three teeth. He then screamed, "Watch it, punk!" and walked off. FML
Today, I was looking at the map on my phone whilst walking down a street. I heard the sound of a bike behind me so I moved to let the cyclist past. He snatched the phone out of my hand and sped off. FML
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Top comments
therevolution 0
poor kid imagine the life he has from now on...everytime he bends over to tie his shoes he's gonna be all paranoid....0.o
xSkyful 0
YDI for not making sure
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Comments (178)
CallMeHush 1
Nuke option! Shoot first, ask question later.
gaahhh123 0
you deserved it!
vaebouria 0
agreed
TheReaper6282 0
while I would have made sure he was attempting to steal before hitting him, I sympathize. and people that's not being paranoid. I've had a couple attempted thefts of my bike. it's not being paranoid when 2 strong men can pick it up and walk away with it. at least OP didn't shoot the guy...
trippydoll 4
HAHA. Wow this is funny shit. No lie. You shoudve pocket checked him while you were at it. **** it, might as well. Lol.
Intoxicunt 6
And who said the French are peaceful?
kybabyy 4
Err, no one. Please refer to the French Revolution.
Intoxicunt 6
No one? Erm, please refer to all the idiotic comments and faked google result screenshots implying that the French never won a war and all they do is surrender. I didn't start the damn stereotype; no need to educate me. I'm just stating what other people seem to think.
gutzzzz 0
YDI for having a bike, and for not wanting it stolen
NiZmO_Z32 0
Awesome! The world would be a better place if people got the shit knocked out of them for doing any shady looking shit. I hope you kicked him while he was down. It's the best time. His head is right there by your foot anyways.
GinandJenkem 0
10, Harsh words from a girl that looks like a virgin herself.
jvandy 0
woah Cupcake, you need to put those things away. they can cause damage in young minds xP