Nothing's Going Right - FML

Nothing's Going Right

By FML Approved - 03/10/2017 21:00 - United States - New York

It's hard to turn things around sometimes.

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 112

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Top comments

freckledfox06 18

Wednesday 4 October 2017 5:14

The hands, they panicked!!

Comments

freckledfox06 18

Wednesday 4 October 2017 5:14

The hands, they panicked!!

Keywords

Health Ironic Dentist Coworkers Work Annoying Miscellaneous Relatable Grandparents Awkward Love Food Animals Insects Public freakouts Fear Family Bullying Suspicious Relationship advice Embarrassing Neighbours Anniversary AITA Gamers Allergies Vegan Cooking Sex Intimacy

The Top

Today, I received a package addressed to my husband. I thought it was a surprise gift for me, so I excitedly opened it. It turned out to be a 3-foot tall realistic-looking penguin. Confused, I asked him about it. He sheepishly admitted he'd bought it to scare off the neighbor's cat, who's been using our garden as a litter tray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 560

Today, and for the fourth time in a week, my 60-year-old neighbors have woken me up by having obnoxiously loud sex. Complete with over the top moaning and the headboard smashing against our shared wall. When I asked them nicely to quiet down, they laughed and called me jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 015

You deserved it 359

The Top

Today, I decided to show up early for work and really try to get off my manager's shit-list. On my way to work, my manager called to bitch me out for already being 30 minutes late. Yeah, I forgot about Daylight Savings Time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 173

You deserved it 12 429

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 322

You deserved it 2 988

Today, my nutjob girlfriend dumped me for refusing to stop talking to my best friend, just because she's a woman. Before she left, my now-ex decided to punish me by destroying the dissertation I've spent months working on, along with both backups of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 590

You deserved it 4 664

Today, I went to a McDonald's drive-thru in just a shirt and underwear, thinking I wouldn't be seeing anyone. I got into a car crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 245

You deserved it 10 696

Today, I went to a restaurant for a friend's birthday. There were two very attractive waiters. They waited until I went to the toilet to sit down, talk to my friends and hit on them. They promptly left upon my return. Men avoid me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 025

You deserved it 5 476

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 386

You deserved it 2 945