By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 295
You deserved it 2 331

Top comments


The next day, use your pizza delivery outfit as a disguise to get into his house, and while the kid is not looking......... fart on his pillow.

Marcella1016 31

Simple solution for simple assault. Call 911. I bet the little assholes won't do it again.

be happy it wasn't a paintball gun, those actually hurt if u get hit, even with clothing on lol

ZebcoGirl 0

Simple, you press charges. Especially since you know who it was. Problem solved.

tjv3 10

well that's when you pull out the .50 cal sniper rifle and waste one

zach630 0

21- your a pussy if you call 911 for that

Llama_Face89 33

61- you realize that those things ******* hurt even with clothes on, right? Even the less powerful ones. There are reasons it's illegal to shoot them in public places.

The_Troller 14

Aaaaaaand they are treated the same as real guns by the US government. So that would be more than just assault.

@71 No they are not you idiot, only high powered .177 pellets are. Kids can go to the store and buy an airsoft gun without a parent, and you can even see them at some festivals being sold at booths. Not only that, but you can legally shoot them in your backyard or in the front. Do not speak if you have no clue what you are talking about.

No, he should've been there in 30 minutes or less

Maybe he was. He definitely wanted to get in and out before the initial 30 minutes were up though. I would wanna leave as quickly as possible. OP, if you ever deliver there again, take an extra pizza box. You'll need a shield.

The only thing left to do is counter attack. Retreat for now, come back with a few airsoft guns disguised as umbrellas, knock on their door. Once opened, kick the door in and unleash all he'll from the umbrella like in "kill bill"

... And whistle the " killing song " or, to make a movie, I suggest filming yourself shooting them in slow motion, and then add the soundtrack " bang bang you shot me down" in it

... And kids, this is how I got the idea for my last movie : Revenge of the Pizza Man.

perdix 29

Don't be so paranoid. They also wanted free pizza.

bizarre_ftw 21

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean someone isn't out to get you ^_^

Sue them. Using airsoft guns on people outside of a place specially made for it is illegal. I also shoot out my window with my airsoft sniper or glock, but only on the vegetables in my neighbors garden :-P


markrs 0

Watch the happening. You wouldnt do that anymore.

tjv3 10

#7 really ? sue them? that's a wimpy thing to do

Llama_Face89 33

60- not wimpy. Certainly expensive. Just call the cops.

REAL MEN OF GENIUS This is to you underpaid pizza delivery guy

Haha good one, life's a bitch then you die.

Life's a bitch, then you marry one, and then you die.

bizarre_ftw 21

Possibly by her hand because you let slip you think she's a bitch

Haha go home grab your gun and return fire like a mo fucka

Decapitation 3

Go to their house with sunglasses, a leather jacket, and a huge airsoft gun and say "Did someone order the pepperoni... With a side of PAIN!" and shoot them.

I wouldn't answer the door... What would you do next?! Gotta think ahead .

Decapitation 3

Obviously he would then drive a flaming motorcycle through the dining room window.