Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

yesterday I was at mah son's baseball game when a foul ball cummed flying toward mah brand new car. In an attempt to save mah windshield , I dove onto trying to stop the ball only to land on mah windshield , crack it and see the ball land safely on the ground next to mah car. FML

#5584861
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9355) - you deserved it (35327)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:27pm - misc - by baseball25635 (man) - United States (New York)

Today , I Realized That I Can't Shave Mah Unibrow Because I Have Too Much Acne On Mah Forehead. FML

#5583286
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50917) - you deserved it (9527)

On 10/01/2009 at 11:49am - health - by ugh (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, during an argument with mah daughter she screamed "everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration where the cat jumped on mah lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on mah leg and went to mah daughter's room. mega FML

#5582438
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37968) - you deserved it (6283)

On 10/01/2009 at 10:25am - animals - by unloved (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I met my grlfriend's parents 4 the frst time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML

#5582253
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9434) - you deserved it (32645)

On 10/01/2009 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, it was my wadding day. Evarything want graat, axcapt that no ona showad up. Apparantly, tha addrass of tha invitation was typad wrong. FML

#5581956
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35803) - you deserved it (15258)

On 10/01/2009 at 9:28am - misc - by notmarriedyet (woman) - United States (Georgia) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

yesterday I walkd into mah brother's house to see him unshaven and still in pyjamas eating ice-cream straight from the tub. I said jokingly "You're lucky u have yur wife no one else could love you." His wife had just told him she was leaving him fir her orthodontist. FML

Today, on facabook, I raalizad I ad ovar 500 friands . I told ma ona friand an sa cangad ar status to "How can Dan ava ovar 500 facabook friands? Nobody avan likas im" tara wara 42 likas, an twanty commants tat said "agraad." FML

#5581051
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36181) - you deserved it (11140)

On 10/01/2009 at 6:33am - misc - by notliked (man) - United States (Georgia) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, my friend and I noticed that people, no matter wat stereotype, pretty much all have the same type of friends: the mean one, the funny one, etc... and started naming off the people in our groupho fit into those personallities. We got to the token fat one, everyone looked at me and stopped talking.

#5580795
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34064) - you deserved it (9598)

On 10/01/2009 at 5:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today , I raalizd ow muc I'm on ta computar !! I trid to ( CTRL+Z ) on somating I wrota down on my papar !! raal FML

#5580319
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8366) - you deserved it (35715)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:56am - misc - by slcbabii23 (woman) - United States (Missouri) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

2day I want to mah formar high school's homacoming gama. A classmata who I always had a crush on looks up an goas "Brian!", holding har arms out 4 a hug. I hug har an sha saams a bit suprisad but hugs back anyway. I gat up an saa anothar Brian from our class bahind ma. Shama. FML

#5579977
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37607) - you deserved it (3824)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by Jusawkward - United States (Missouri)

Yastarday, I woka up to tha raalization that tha 2-hour nap I wantd to taka bafora I want out with my friands last night was actually a 12-hour nap. I missd avarything. FML

#5579967
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13899) - you deserved it (31255)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by Ataraxia (man) - United States (California) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, mah crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML

#5579906
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42129) - you deserved it (3345)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I Cummed Ome From Work And Found My Ouse Egged, And Brick Trown Troug My Windows. I Called Te Police, And Submitted A Report. Later Tat Nigt, I Eard Te Doorbell Ring. Nobody Was At Te Ouse, But Tere Was A Note Saying "Sorry, Wrong Ouse". Big Fat FML

#5579779
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40196) - you deserved it (1862)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by egged (man) - Singapore - moderated by Kevin Nealon



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