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Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22488) - you deserved it (4004)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, I discovered that Paolo has a big penis, that he's good in bed and that the hotel sheets still remember it all. Mum, the walls won't get any thicker just 'cause you're on the telephone. FML

#1813
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22490) - you deserved it (1666)

On 01/20/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend drunkenly decided to let his friends cut his hair into a mullet. He won't change it. I'm supposed to introduce him to my family. FML

#13775223
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22485) - you deserved it (3858)

On 11/09/2010 at 7:02am - misc - by botheredgf (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my boyfriend used my love handles as ACTUAL love handles. FML

#13431073
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22484) - you deserved it (18765)

On 10/13/2010 at 4:36am - intimacy - by Abused (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to explain to my 18-year-old boyfriend why it is not okay to pee in the pool. FML

#19099284
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22482) - you deserved it (4879)

On 02/17/2012 at 9:13am - misc - by nycol (woman) - Australia

Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML

#21040628
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22481) - you deserved it (42063)

On 01/26/2014 at 1:20pm - misc - by shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I broke my wrist because a Nutella glass fell on it after I opened the cupboard. FML

#7478181
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22480) - you deserved it (4368)

On 01/21/2010 at 5:17pm - misc - by diorlove - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother gave me an early Christmas present; a Bissell mop so I can "do a better job" when I "clean her floors". FML

#13462104
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22481) - you deserved it (3574)

On 10/15/2010 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was working behind the bar at a club. After serving drinks to a guy, he asked me if I could carry them outside to the two girls waiting for him. I scowled at him and told him I wasn't a waitress. That's when I realised he had one arm. FML

#20910594
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22478) - you deserved it (52468)

On 10/07/2013 at 3:37am - work - by bitch (woman) - Australia

Today, my teacher started talking about me quietly to the stuffed cat, called Rufus, that she keeps on her desk. FML

#18763079
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22477) - you deserved it (2056)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:25am - work - by jumbledgirl (woman) - United States

Today, I arrived at work to find an email from the manager whom I had bought concert tickets from the night before. He said he had actually sold those tickets to someone else. He still expects to be paid. FML

#8692922
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22474) - you deserved it (1997)

On 02/27/2010 at 3:45pm - work - by mcfaily - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, we got a call that my brother stuck a rock up his nose and couldn't get it out. My mom had to pick him up and take him to the hospital. My brother is 20. FML

#19666346
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22472) - you deserved it (1758)

On 05/23/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by littlebigbrother - Japan

Today, I realised I haven't had a date in so long that I actually seriously considered meeting someone from online, purely based on the fact he could spell properly. FML

#13822904
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22471) - you deserved it (3871)

On 11/13/2010 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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