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Today, on my second day as a lifeguard, I locked myself out of the pool. My angry guests and I had to wait for 45 minutes for my manager to arrive and unlock the gate. FML

#21417788
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23878) - you deserved it (5193)

On 05/29/2015 at 9:34pm - work - by explosivepeach - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out that all the everyday Spanish words and phrases my boyfriend has been teaching me have very vulgar meanings. I found this out after I said a few to our waitress. FML

#17705736
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23877) - you deserved it (6021)

On 09/09/2011 at 6:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML

#19860691
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23877) - you deserved it (3961)

On 06/28/2012 at 1:36pm - misc - by whoslade (man) - United States

Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML

#1114
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23876) - you deserved it (2549)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:32am - love - by poisonhand - United States (Michigan)

Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML

#705
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23872) - you deserved it (3010)

On 01/05/2009 at 1:16am - love - by Charly - Sent from mobile version

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

#7268268
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23871) - you deserved it (4068)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm - misc - by Hayley (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got through to the phone interview stage for a great job. When the phone rang, I answered and suddenly, spontaneously, burped really loudly. The interviewer hung up. FML

#9396047
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23871) - you deserved it (9817)

On 03/26/2010 at 5:44am - work - by urrrppp (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I went on my very first date. We went out to eat dinner and everything went great! Afterwards, I went to drop him back off at his house. I backed out of his driveway and got stuck in a ditch. His dad had to come out and tow me out. So that's how I met my boyfriend's parents. FML

#21422583
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23871) - you deserved it (3240)

On 06/07/2015 at 11:35pm - love - by firstdategoals - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. They jokingly asked me if I was only with him for his money. I didn't hear them properly so I just smiled and nodded. They now think I'm a gold digging bitch. FML

#20060240
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23869) - you deserved it (9577)

On 09/06/2012 at 8:46am - love - by Ashley - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that a water pipe at my work had burst over the weekend. There is absolutely no water in the building, including the bathrooms. It's a 9 hour day, and I took a laxative this morning before I came in. FML

#7276638
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23868) - you deserved it (9974)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:28am - work - by bs_happens (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had four teeth pulled, and my mom brought me some ice cream to help with the pain. I fell asleep before I could finish it, and without realising, I left the bowl on my bed. I woke up a few hours later with ice cream spilled all over me, my pants, and all over my now-dead phone. FML

#9131869
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23868) - you deserved it (9795)

On 03/16/2010 at 1:40pm - health - by hkkilla - United States

Today, I had an interview for my dream job. I was offered coffee and a donut. It was going well until I took a bite of the donut and started choking on it. I coughed so hard I ended up vomiting into his garbage can. FML

#19781489
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23867) - you deserved it (3254)

On 06/13/2012 at 10:50am - work - by lonelyharts86 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

#20176987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23867) - you deserved it (2449)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)



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