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Today, I wrecked my car and got rushed to the emergency room. While strapped to a gurney, a nurse reached in my back pocket, grabbed my wallet and pulled the velcro keeping my wallet shut. The entire room immediately started laughing as condoms and loose change went flying everywhere. FML

#19572615
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18330) - you deserved it (3635)

On 05/04/2012 at 10:34am - misc - by UnderConstruction (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML

#15958012
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18328) - you deserved it (25820)

On 04/28/2011 at 12:04am - work - by tryandtryagain (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18324) - you deserved it (6863)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML

#17981114
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18322) - you deserved it (2321)

On 10/14/2011 at 7:22am - love - by Jessy - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that the extremely attractive man that works in my building can hear everything I say about him through the paper-thin walls. FML

#19635956
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18321) - you deserved it (7803)

On 05/17/2012 at 6:33am - misc - by kazmatazz (woman) - Oman

Today, I faced a dilemma. If I don't let the cat sleep in my bedroom, she spends all night howling at the door, waking up my 2-year-old in the process. If I do let her in, the dog gets distressed and chews the contents of the bin. If I let both of them in, I have no room to sleep. FML

Today, I'm a 23 year old girl who often has to wear two pairs of socks. I don't have four feet, but I have no boobs. FML

#1019
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18320) - you deserved it (5198)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by carrie - Algeria

Today, my landlord informed me that from now on, she'd prefer if I paid my rent in cash each month. Apparently, I "look sketchy" and she didn't "ever want to deal with the hassle of a bounced check." FML

#20102772
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18316) - you deserved it (1846)

On 10/05/2012 at 10:56am - money - by sketchball (man) - United States

Today, after months of unemployment, my only social interaction was with my postman. FML

#17687802
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18317) - you deserved it (4819)

On 09/07/2011 at 11:08am - work - by HT BaaFly (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
708 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18313) - you deserved it (93720)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML

#20109013
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18313) - you deserved it (1713)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:07pm - work - by yolo is for shitheads - United States

Today, I finally felt motivated to do some exercise. As I got my weights out, I noticed out of the corner of my eye someone moving about outside my window. I got scared and dropped a weight on my foot. The person outside was my own reflection. FML

#20195266
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18312) - you deserved it (8614)

On 12/07/2012 at 4:10pm - health - by i see fat people (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I got a chance to have dinner and a movie with a girl I've liked for a while. I ran late, so in a hurry to make the movie, and trying to be smooth for her, I told the waiter I'd "take care of him" if he made it fast. He did. When he brought the check, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. FML

#677350
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18309) - you deserved it (58562)

On 03/29/2009 at 9:38am - money - by BrokeAsAJoke (man) - United States (Florida)



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