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Today, I went to see my grandfather in hospital, to see how well he's recovering from his stroke. He asked who I was. After I told him I'm his grand-daughter, his head almost rolled off his neck in disappointment. FML

Today, my boyfriend, of a year, got drunk and called me flat chested then said the reason he won't have sex with me anymore is because he is "used" to me. He said all of this in front of his friends. FML

#7701844
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19483) - you deserved it (2416)

On 01/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend made me watch six hours of "Glee" with her. I don't know what I hate the most, the fact that I actually sat there and watched it or that I'm angry at Finn for breaking up with Rachel. FML

#16301661
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19483) - you deserved it (32915)

On 05/22/2011 at 7:09pm - misc - by why me -

Today, I finished my SAT and was feeling pretty good about it. I decided to turn on my phone, since it was on silent. As the guy was collecting our tests, my phone vibrated a little. My score was cancelled. It was a text from my mom reminding me to turn off my phone. FML

#1563440
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19482) - you deserved it (78855)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a gay bar and asking a really convincing drag queen about her daily routine. I asked how she tucked her penis in. She responded, "Um, I'm a woman." I said, "Oh I'm sorry, are you pre-op or post-op?" She said, "No, I always have been and always will be a woman, asshole." FML

#866665
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19480) - you deserved it (71847)

On 04/08/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by thatwasmiz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I learned that it takes about half an hour to get melted cheese out of your hair. FML

#17956536
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19480) - you deserved it (5423)

On 10/10/2011 at 11:34pm - health - by jzappe - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had once been possessed by demons, and that he now sleeps with a knife under his pillow for protection from, "The dark spirits that are feasting upon his soul." I'm not sure that I'll be sleeping over anytime soon. FML

#20046142
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19481) - you deserved it (2152)

On 08/28/2012 at 11:56am - love - by StillBetterThanTwilight (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML

#8772843
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19475) - you deserved it (3772)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:21pm - kids - by kansasgirl (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I flew from Chicago to San Francisco to get some of my stuff out of a storage unit. I left the keys for the padlock at home. FML

#2530639
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19472) - you deserved it (48321)

On 06/02/2009 at 12:14pm - misc - by Tom (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

#20096305
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19471) - you deserved it (1677)

On 10/01/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Prae - United States (Texas)

Today, I switched cell phone service providers, hoping to upgrade. After working out the details and picking a phone in the store, I got home to find my brand new cell can't get a signal in my house. I already signed the two year contract. FML

#19596569
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19468) - you deserved it (5301)

On 05/09/2012 at 7:03am - misc - by klynn267 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was playing Apples to Apples with my girlfriend and a few others. The card that was drawn was labeled "pathetic". Among other cards that were laid down in attempts to be similar to "pathetic" was my girlfriend's card. She won with a create-a-card labeled "my sex life". FML

#20157215
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19467) - you deserved it (4310)

On 11/10/2012 at 6:02am - love - by anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to be a generous guy and slip a dollar from my pocket to a beggar. Turns out I'd slipped my hard-earned $100 bill instead. FML

#18080163
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19462) - you deserved it (31008)

On 10/26/2011 at 12:14pm - money - by Pimaan - United States



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