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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML

#419
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18866) - you deserved it (10002)

On 11/30/2008 at 5:51am - misc - by Groom - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was standing on a desk at work to run wiring in a suspended ceiling, since we have no ladder. My phone rang, I rushed to answer it, tripping and smashing my leg. It was my boss, calling to tell me he was bringing over a ladder. FML

#4954
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18862) - you deserved it (3395)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:11pm - work - by fonsui - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered a large and somewhat disturbing whitehead inside my ear crevice. Apparently it's been there for a while, because everyone at work has nicknamed it Hugo. FML

#20063555
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18859) - you deserved it (2534)

On 09/08/2012 at 6:39pm - work - by me - United States

Today, after doing inventory at my job, I was approached by a co-worker who I had always thought was cute. I tried talking to her, but it was hard as I kept trembling and stuttering from spending two hours in a meat locker. Now she assumes that I'm "special". FML

#20186264
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18858) - you deserved it (1980)

On 12/01/2012 at 3:35am - work - by CheddarJack89 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Despite all my attempts to explain that he's wrong, he is totally convinced that my genitals have diabetes. This guy is going to be such a great father to our kids. FML

#19942107
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18857) - you deserved it (5578)

On 07/15/2012 at 5:52pm - health - by Tori (woman) - Australia

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

#6945268
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18854) - you deserved it (2841)

On 12/25/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to walk three miles home from work. Both my parents were at home. The reason they wouldn't collect me is apparently because I've "gotten so fat, your grandma cried after she saw you". FML

#14492583
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18854) - you deserved it (22590)

On 01/07/2011 at 12:46am - health - by biscuit (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got fired from a job that I've had for four days for being too "secretive." Apparently, I was leaning over my notebook so that my boss couldn't stand behind me and read what I was writing. The email literally said I was "being too sneaky". They were work notes. FML

#20132367
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18853) - you deserved it (1448)

On 10/25/2012 at 2:59am - work - by TheHarvardian (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my friend sent me the link to this website with a message that said, "You'll feel at home." FML

#3195
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18851) - you deserved it (2513)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by AKN - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my dorm had a mandatory meeting about body image. I went to the meeting and left feeling all good about myself. As soon as I got back to my room, my favorite jeans ripped right across my butt. FML

#8859688
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18847) - you deserved it (4175)

On 03/06/2010 at 12:14am - misc - by shortiem (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

#8409963
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18847) - you deserved it (3504)

On 02/18/2010 at 3:08pm - love - by gp28 - United States

Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML

#61
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18846) - you deserved it (54492)

On 10/26/2008 at 12:04pm - work - by Shameonme - Morocco

Today, I sent my main man a picture of the two of us out on our second date. He immediately added it to his MySpace account, with the caption, "clubbin with my hoe." FML

#6433448
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18845) - you deserved it (8241)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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