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Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML

#19377820
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23000) - you deserved it (2642)

On 03/30/2012 at 6:21pm - love - by sad (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, while watching TV with my wife, I realized that we were still watching "My Little Pony" even though the kids had been asleep for half an hour. FML

#19495403
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23000) - you deserved it (5414)

On 04/19/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by ajnmegs - United States (Colorado)

Today, I received an email from my girlfriend listing 10 ways to stop premature ejaculation. Subtle. FML

#19629864
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22997) - you deserved it (6682)

On 05/15/2012 at 10:53pm - intimacy - by quick blow (man) - United States

Today, I wanted to be creative. I hid an engagement ring for my girlfriend inside one of her running shoes. I expected her to find it and wake me up, but she didn't. Later, when I asked if there was anything in her shoe, she responded, "There was a rock. I just shook it out outside. Why?" FML

#4880927
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22995) - you deserved it (54365)

On 08/28/2009 at 11:08am - love - by fmlll (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my grandma's cat peed on my full leg cast. The closest doctor was a three hour drive away. So my grandma wouldn't take me at all the whole weekend. FML

Today, my grandma called me to tell me that a couple of cute boys stopped by her house to borrow something. She told them all about me, and that I would be interested in them. My love life is so pathetic, even my grandmother is trying to hook me up. FML

#8394792
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22994) - you deserved it (4186)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:07am - love - by loveless - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I had a picnic on the beach. It was so romantic and perfect. He leant forward to kiss me. Once we had kissed he said, "We haven't even started eating yet", and passed me a mint. FML

#13822248
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22993) - you deserved it (8586)

On 11/13/2010 at 12:12am - love - by baconbreath=| - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my parents were awake while I was still in bed on my iPod touch. I decided to play The Smurfs Village. One of its minigames involves shaking the iPod, so I was breathing heavily. Later, my parents sat me down for a little "talk". FML

#19833260
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22991) - you deserved it (7097)

On 06/23/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. I also found out that my best friend knew about it all along. When I confronted him, he tried to justify the betrayal by saying that she paid him to keep quiet. FML

#20000479
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22992) - you deserved it (1676)

On 08/03/2012 at 2:31pm - love - by gng2fckngkilluyoufckngfckr (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that one of my best mates had his backpack, clothes, and everything else in it stolen at an airport overseas. I was feeling sorry for him all day. It took me 9 hours to remember that I actually loaned him my backpack for his trip. FML

#12875277
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22993) - you deserved it (6704)

On 09/02/2010 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than a kitten who pounces on things that wiggle under the blanket. FML

#5903153
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22989) - you deserved it (3774)

On 10/19/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by JohnB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, after getting home from a twelve-hour shift at work, I got into bed and passed out. My mother soon woke me up, screaming that she could tell I was "fake sleeping" and ignoring her lecture on how I need to stop being so "lazy". FML

#20039795
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22989) - you deserved it (1520)

On 08/24/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by ipayyourbillsgorramit (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at a job interview at McDonalds. All was going well until the manager told me that I'd have to remove the piercing that I have on my eyebrow. I didn't think that my mole would be so confusing. FML

#630
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22986) - you deserved it (1891)

On 12/30/2008 at 4:35am - work - by Cody - Sent from mobile version



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