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Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for 3 hours. FML

#831890
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21096) - you deserved it (59081)

On 04/06/2009 at 6:41am - misc - by Anna (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I received an e-mail from my stepmom. It was a picture of a boy that she said she thought I might like to know. Next to the picture was the message "he comes from a good military background". My love life is so pathetic that my stepmother feels the need to try and set me up. FML

#6573987
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21096) - you deserved it (4306)

On 12/02/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by kay (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was peeing, and I sneezed. I looked down to see that my gum had flown out of my mouth and gotten caught in my pubes. On the upside I got a new look. FML

#17383761
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21095) - you deserved it (8724)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by en3rg1zer21 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML

#20158312
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21097) - you deserved it (2905)

On 11/11/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Danny - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

#19862258
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21095) - you deserved it (3542)

On 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm - misc - by zombieguyswife (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at a pet store cuddling an apparently overaggressive chinchilla when it decided to bite me and run out of my hands. It is now nowhere to be found and I have to pay for it. FML

#13886609
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21094) - you deserved it (9049)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:34am - misc - by alltimelove -

Today, I got engaged. My family is already placing bets on how long it will take for my fiancée to "wise up and ditch" me. FML

#20077487
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21092) - you deserved it (1945)

On 09/18/2012 at 7:22am - love - by thanksfamily (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML

#20190054
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21091) - you deserved it (1639)

On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -

Today, I overheard my mom talking on the phone with my sister about how much they hate my fiancé. My wedding is in two weeks and my family has been pretending to like my future husband for three years. FML

#20148569
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21088) - you deserved it (1779)

On 11/05/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my deranged co-worker sent me a text message containing a picture that she just took of her uncle. It was his funeral. FML

#9083154
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21086) - you deserved it (1738)

On 03/14/2010 at 8:20pm - misc - by thanatophobia - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to jump into my car while it was still moving. Apparently, just because you put it in park and turn it off, doesn't mean it won't take off towards a ditch without warning. FML

#18473570
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21083) - you deserved it (8103)

On 12/10/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by CassieMarieee - United States (Texas)

Today, I was waiting at an intersection. Across from me, a car was approaching and a bunny ran out. Trying to save it, I flashed my lights and beeped at the car crazily, when the bunny turned around. The lights turned, and as I drove forward the bunny came back out and I hit it. FML

#6346193
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21082) - you deserved it (6641)

On 11/17/2009 at 8:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was over her addiction and wished to quit cold turkey. I cancelled all my plans to stay home and support her. She didn't mean her tobacco addiction, no no. Her corn chip addiction. FML

#20005444
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21081) - you deserved it (2440)

On 08/06/2012 at 7:20am - misc - by Spockx - New Zealand (Waikato)



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