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Today, I saw a photo on my mother-in-law's Facebook, proudly showing off the horrible job she'd done of painting her car. I sarcastically commented that I wouldn't inflict that on my worst enemy's ride. An hour later, she came by and emptied a bucket of paint over my windshield. FML

#21066687
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26261) - you deserved it (50762)

On 02/20/2014 at 4:20pm - misc - by time to lawyer up (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my school's theater production was canceled. Not because of budget, but because my co-star fell in love with me and asked me out. When I pointedly declined, he refused to act alongside me since it was "awkward." Everyone's blaming me for it. FML

#21498523
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26261) - you deserved it (2666)

On 11/30/2015 at 11:34am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a crash on the highway. The police weren't yet there, so I pulled over to help because I know CPR. No one needed CPR, but I had locked myself out of my car. My roadside assist won't come to highways, so I had to get towed away in front of everyone. FML

#13245639
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26260) - you deserved it (6277)

On 09/29/2010 at 3:08am - misc - by blonde (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML

#18659966
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26260) - you deserved it (7082)

On 12/31/2011 at 1:21am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took the train to work. There was an older man standing behind me. Everytime I tried to edge away from him, he edged closer. Everytime the train rocked even slightly, his crotch made contact with my behind. It was an extremely bumpy train ride. I could also tell when he became hard. FML

#8471293
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26259) - you deserved it (2841)

On 02/20/2010 at 5:54am - intimacy - by trainhump (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, we had a school reunion. The guy who bullied me throughout my high school career is now rich and married. I'm broke and single, and he specifically came up to me to point it out. FML

#21475747
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26259) - you deserved it (2032)

On 10/03/2015 at 4:45pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at a concert and an older man offered to let me stand in front of him because I'm short. It wasn't until the show started and people were jumping around did I realize he had a boner and was repeatedly bumping into me. FML

#8765268
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26258) - you deserved it (2855)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Lin - United States (California)

Today, the toilet on the top floor of my house burst, soaked the bathroom, and water dripped down into the kitchen and the basement for hours when nobody was home. Eight blowers and a dehumidifier later, the house is about 90 degrees and I can't leave. FML

#15898424
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26257) - you deserved it (2752)

On 04/23/2011 at 2:33pm - misc - by wet (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got laid off. Why would they lay me off right before the holidays? Because they want to make sure every one else gets a nice holiday bonus. FML

#20173186
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26257) - you deserved it (1677)

On 11/21/2012 at 11:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to break up. But not until after our anniversary tomorrow, because he's already gotten dinner reservations for us. FML

#20127937
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26256) - you deserved it (1824)

On 10/22/2012 at 5:01am - love - by reserved - United States (California)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbor's attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML

#21478578
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26255) - you deserved it (1688)

On 10/11/2015 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML

#6760576
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26254) - you deserved it (4847)

On 12/15/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by Will (man) - United States

Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML

#20059793
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26254) - you deserved it (3880)

On 09/05/2012 at 11:27pm - work - by divorcee - Canada (Alberta)



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