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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I told my mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making my favorite cookies and dinner. FML

#19743960
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20082) - you deserved it (2058)

On 06/06/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was participating in an exercise in my psychology class to describe this horrible looking person I had never seen before and I described the person as a "rebellious, drug dealing, lowlife". The person in that picture turned out to be my teacher. FML

#5826781
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20082) - you deserved it (8469)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, we got our family pictures back from the printers. I complained to my mom about the ones she picked. "Oh don't worry," she said. "I had them photoshop out your gut." I was talking about my smile. FML

#7292547
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20082) - you deserved it (3149)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:11am - misc - by Me (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, an old lady came to the bank where I worked at to apply for a loan. She obviously didn't qualify for one as she has no income coming in. She looked so pitiful, so I changed a couple of her information so she could. She reported me and I got fired. FML

#4785631
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20079) - you deserved it (52663)

On 08/24/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by NoThanks (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20078) - you deserved it (43)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had to listen to a girl who just came back from the bathroom, talk about the "gigantic massive dump" she took, and even held her hands up to show the size. FML

#8835059
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20073) - you deserved it (3154)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:51pm - misc - by Grossed_out (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized I'd rather be constipated, sick, sit in long traffic lines and inadvertantly eat spoiled meat than spend another day at my shitty job. All things that happened to me today. FML

#8840296
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20072) - you deserved it (2408)

On 03/05/2010 at 3:01am - work - by Petergibbons - United States (California)

Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML

#20063309
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20070) - you deserved it (12387)

On 09/08/2012 at 3:16pm - misc - by dating a fucking idiot (woman) - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML

#19515132
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20071) - you deserved it (1713)

On 04/23/2012 at 1:50am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I drove 45 minutes to take my full driver's test. At the end of the test, the instructor told me I'd done everything perfectly, but had failed before I left the parking lot. I didn't see the "one way" sign at the entrance. FML

#19996379
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20063) - you deserved it (8302)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:20pm - misc - by unlicensed - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw a very attractive young woman struggling with some boxes. The seduction attempt resulted in me carrying 60lbs of items for 30mins. When we got to her apartment, she thanked me and introduced me to her boyfriend. FML

#20579784
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20062) - you deserved it (37736)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by JacktheRussian (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML

#6718371
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20059) - you deserved it (3759)

On 12/12/2009 at 2:28am - intimacy - by Laura_2118 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML

#20881196
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20057) - you deserved it (48475)

On 09/14/2013 at 4:47pm - love - by 181999 - United States (Vermont)



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