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Today... I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guyho sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. real FML

#7728542
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22110) - you deserved it (2826)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Me - United States

Today, I walked out of my house wearing only boxers, only to be greeted by kids with paintball guns. FML

#17436127
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22111) - you deserved it (13568)

On 08/11/2011 at 12:53am - misc - by Username - United States

Today mom was feeling down so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home plugged it in and when she saw me with it she said "Wipe that smrk off yur face and get that junk out of here." FML

TADAY I WAS CLEANING OUT MAH ROOF'S GUTTER, WHICH WAS FULL OF LEAVES. THERE WAS AN ESPECIALLY BIG PILE, AND WHEN I STARTED SCOOPING IT UP, I FELT SOMETHING SQUISHY. TURNS OUT THOSE LEAVE WERE COVERING THE REMAIN OF A ROTTING SQURREL. I CAN'T STOP SMELLING IT. FML

#20141617
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22110) - you deserved it (1627)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:23pm - animals - by orilykid (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the mall and had to parallel park. It took me 10 to 12 minutes of maneuvering before I got into the slot. When I turned off the car and got out, there were 8 people laughing hysterically and clapping 4 me. FML

#3706736
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22109) - you deserved it (42096)

On 07/13/2009 at 1:14am - misc - by greek_dancer (woman) - United States

Today, after my annoying nieghbor who used to spend hours playing the cello in the apartment below me finally moved out, I found out that I have a new musical nieghbor moving in. This fellow plays the bagpipes. FML

#20067181
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22108) - you deserved it (2537)

On 09/11/2012 at 2:11am - misc - by PissedbythePiper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I caugt my dog attempting to sit on te carpet. Wen I saw im, I screamd. Startld, e ran around te ouse, continuing to take is sit. Now, I don't ave to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger unt an fine all of te scatterd turds. real FML

#8837524
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22107) - you deserved it (11844)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I Found Out That Aftar Rauniting With An Old Boyfriand, Gatting Closa With His Two Yaar Old Son, An Moving Closar To Him To Proparly Ba A Part Of Thara Livas, Ha Got Back Togathar With His Ax Wifa . FML

#9021886
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22106) - you deserved it (5452)

On 03/12/2010 at 12:24pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while working, a woman complained that she didn't ask fir sauce on her sandwich . After examining the sandwich, I realized it was just melted cheese . When I told her, she threw the sandwich at me . FML

#20099296
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22101) - you deserved it (1450)

On 10/02/2012 at 11:33pm - work - by Sara (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today I gave myself a hernia while farting. real FML

#19152060
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22098) - you deserved it (6585)

On 02/24/2012 at 3:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

today I fell down a flight of stairs!! The guy behind me was kind enough to ask if I was okay!! He then called his friends over so they could laugh at me!! FML

#14576368
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22096) - you deserved it (2593)

On 01/14/2011 at 9:18am - misc - by ValeyFallsAlot -

THE OFFICE TOUGH GUY LEARNED HOW TO USE THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER. ON ME. I WASN'T ON FIRE. MEGA FML

#18902746
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22095) - you deserved it (2140)

On 01/24/2012 at 9:58pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to looool smoking. mega FML

#19949441
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22095) - you deserved it (5082)

On 07/17/2012 at 9:54am - health - by Anonymous - Greece (Attiki)



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