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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my laziness hit a new low when I sat on an unopened folding chair to avoid the effort of opening it up. FML

#20587700
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13594) - you deserved it (91644)

On 04/13/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by mets300 - United States (New York)

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

#20579781
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13593) - you deserved it (54894)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML

#20462592
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13592) - you deserved it (25434)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm - misc - by Kendra_Nine (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML

#97434
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13587) - you deserved it (57969)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally managed to sleep, after two days of being kept awake by the miniature floodlights my neighbors have installed to scare off burglars. Only a couple of hours into my sleep, I woke up to the sound of their car being broken into. FML

#20093571
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13583) - you deserved it (859)

On 09/29/2012 at 12:32pm - health - by firebombtimEFUCKERS (man) - United States

Today, I found myself arguing with a 6-year-old over a game of tag. FML

#20552543
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13582) - you deserved it (29459)

On 03/20/2013 at 6:08pm - kids - by tspence - United States (Ohio)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML

#20450824
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13576) - you deserved it (26616)

On 01/09/2013 at 9:37pm - love - by niki (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend and I performed a rap to our whole school. The rap was "made up" by our friend. After the performance, a lot of friends asked me why I did a rap from Hannah Montana. Apparently the rap was off of a show for 8 year olds. We are 17 and people think we watch Hannah Montana. FML

#1336947
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13575) - you deserved it (48396)

On 04/25/2009 at 10:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had to log in to my computer on a projector in front of business associates at my dad's architecture firm. I typed in my username and apparently didn't hit the tab key hard enough, so I typed my password in the username box. The entire firm now knows my password is "tits123". FML

#642642
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13574) - you deserved it (66880)

On 03/27/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I decided to clear up some storm damage. I carefully cut a tree that was threatening to fall on my house. It fell on my neighbor's house instead. He's taking me to court for damages. FML

#12365331
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13570) - you deserved it (30046)

On 08/07/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Zinfandel (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on a blind date for coffee. He was smart, good looking, and friendly. While we were talking about our respective families it became abundantly clear that I have heard these stories before. I realized that 6 months earlier I had been dumped by his brother after sleeping with him. FML

Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML

#4089919
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13566) - you deserved it (39321)

On 07/27/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my secret crush, who sits next to me in Bio, asked if he could borrow my notes. I agreed. It was only after he drove away, with my notebook, that I realized that in the back of my notes, I had written his name 100 times, surrounded by little hearts. FML

#5869946
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13550) - you deserved it (35361)

On 10/17/2009 at 7:05pm - misc - by Lovenotes (woman) - United States



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