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Today, I got excited because a snowman I had built lasted a whole week, which is uncommon in my mild climate area. I thought myself lucky, and that my life was turning around. Then I realized how lame my whole train of thought was. FML

#8791627
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17892) - you deserved it (7144)

On 03/03/2010 at 1:10am - misc - by JoshuaRob - United States

Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML

#20420433
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17892) - you deserved it (49801)

On 12/25/2012 at 2:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I noticed that my son only really looks like me when he's straining to take a dump. FML

#19835605
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17889) - you deserved it (3418)

On 06/23/2012 at 8:10pm - kids - by Gremlin (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML

#20691712
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17889) - you deserved it (43460)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17887) - you deserved it (139554)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out where my surprise honeymoon is; it involves swimming with dolphins. I have a huge fear of dolphins, whales and sharks. FML

#19696496
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17885) - you deserved it (7078)

On 05/28/2012 at 11:36pm - misc - by SwimmingInFear - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I just woke up next to the most unpopular girl in school. Damn Vodka. FML

#228
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17884) - you deserved it (130892)

On 11/06/2008 at 4:43am - intimacy - by Ben-Ben - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was waitressing for a huge family. Their bill was $750. Excited about the tip, I was shocked to see only $0.50. As they were leaving, I threw the two whole quarters at their heads. Guess who also got fired today. FML

#20150831
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17881) - you deserved it (41944)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that we need a code word for when I'm being annoying. FML

#8828114
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17876) - you deserved it (7830)

On 03/04/2010 at 7:00pm - love - by ugh - United States

Today, after uprooting my life to help my boyfriend, I realized I receive more affection from my landlord's dog than I have from my boyfriend since I've moved here. FML

#8983847
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17874) - you deserved it (3700)

On 03/10/2010 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I lost control of my vehicle while driving. The car went off the road, rolled over, and ended up being totaled. The policeman asked me if I was alright and I said I was. He seemed relieved at my answer. Then he handed me a $300 ticket for failing to maintain my lane. FML

#13727152
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17873) - you deserved it (5176)

On 11/05/2010 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

#20079245
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17874) - you deserved it (3019)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:25pm - love - by MT (woman) - Finland

Today, at a post-Christmas party, I saw a cute girl standing underneath a mistletoe. I walked up to her and pointed out that we were both standing under a mistletoe. She looked at me, winced, and quickly walked away. FML

#20424412
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17872) - you deserved it (20665)

On 12/26/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)



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