alana554 Say more :
turns out he was pranking me. he did /me.
By alana554 - / Friday 18 August 2017 05:52 / United States - Cumberland
supertacowaffle Say more :
Hi, this is my FML. Basically after a 32 hour trip back from Australia (layovers, waiting round etc) the second I got home I put my jacket in the wash and it had the passport in the pocket. Complete my fault, just thought it would make a funny FML.
By supertacowaffle - / Friday 18 August 2017 10:21 / United Kingdom
Froggie89 Say more :
Hi everyone, OP here. I'm really struggling to put everything into perspective, so many thanks for all of your input! I'd like to clarify that he took the pictures at his own initiative at occasions where I was (getting) undressed. I didn't really give permission, just playfully raised a fist and let him. After all, we've been together for 11 years since highschool, I would've trusted him with my...
By Anonymous - / Thursday 17 August 2017 11:51 /
nightfall8705 Say more :
Actually, it's not stolen, it really did happen, and it happened because my cousin is a thieving turd and needed a taste of his own medicine. And no I didn't actually touch the cup with my mouth so I don't have the mouth herpes. The more you know.
By nightfall8705 - / Wednesday 16 August 2017 13:05 /
Scoobz Say more :
OP here!! Can't believe that this actually got posted! My mother-in-law and I have a unique, open relationship... Quite traumatic at times though. We're like good friends, that sometimes take it too far. Thank you all for your comments!!
By Didn't want to hear that from you - / Friday 11 August 2017 10:46 /
Brightbulb Say more :
ummm WOW hi, OP here, that gender indicator is messed up (good one FML staff​, still need some work there) I am infact 100% FEMALE. Now that we have my gender clarified, thank you for the knowledge that removal is an option, as I have been told that it was not being as young as I am. It was a severe cyst in my ovary and I was told to essentially "get used to it" because it's going to happen every...
By Brightbulb - / Tuesday 8 August 2017 00:12 /
OhGreat. Say more :
Hey OP here! No he doesn't live with with his mom. No I didn't know his mom's name. He lives alone so no we didn't lock the doors. His mom lives in Florida with his step dad she was coming up to visit and to meet me she was a week early! He never called her by her first name it's always "my mom". But I guess when she's around he calls her by her first name all the time but with me he calls her mom....
By OhGreat - / Friday 4 August 2017 12:00 /
egnur_mas Say more :
Bridger you're on the right track mate, I'll have to take a little more care from now on. Considering the circumstances I'm still pretty stoked to have my first submitted FML published!
By egnur_mas - / Wednesday 2 August 2017 17:44 /
SoniaLovesYou Say more :
Wish I could say this WAS fake, but sadly it happened. Although it shouldn't matter, I will go ahead and mention that the guy is Mexican and most likely grew up in a culture that generally looks down on contraception; but it doesn't excuse what he did. Thanks to those of you expressing concern; I plan on taking the morning after pill and everything should be fine, but I am still intensely freaked...
By SoniaLovesYou - / Tuesday 1 August 2017 12:18 / United States
crystalxuk Say more :
After years of being on FML, I finally get featured! It started about 2 weeks after we got here and I basically have hives, am very itchy, and have severe allergies. All this has made me very depressed for months I just stay at home with the windows closed and the air cleaner on because it gets worse whenever I go outside. So the Army is letting us apply for "compassionate reassignment" which lets...
By crystalxuk - / Monday 31 July 2017 18:18 / Republic of Korea
C8H18 Say more :
OP here. My dad walked off acting like he hadn't heard anything as I yelled, "That's my FATHER!"
By Fatherdaughter - / Friday 28 July 2017 11:21 /
milksquad Say more :
OP here! This is my second FML to get published this week, either I'm on a roll or my life is just really shitty lol. I was pretty bitter when I posted this but in hindsight, yeah, it was a pretty stupid decision. Looks (and a cute accent) aren't everything I suppose! I guess I was more surprised that he left so abruptly. Like, he came and then put on his clothes and walked out with barely a goodbye....
By milksquad - / Friday 28 July 2017 10:37 /
Otterbot Say more :
OP here, didn't have an account so I made one to comment! The devices that were installed are like one-way doors, so the bats can leave but not get back in. This meant the ones still in the walls got distressed when the ones outside didn't return. They're classed as "wildlife" meaning they can't be exterminated, so this is one of the easiest, non-lethal solutions to getting them out. It's been about...
By BatIntoHell - / Friday 28 July 2017 03:21 / United States - Minneapolis
Nina Say more :
Hi-ya folks! First let me just say, I'm super stoked because this is the first FML I've ever had published! Second, the back story is this: when I ordered the vacuum, I had just woken up from a dream I had while on sleeping pills so I was preeeetty drowsy. The dream involved vacuuming which is what inspired the shopping spree to begin with. Since I was so drowsy I was skimming over all the product...
By Nina - / Monday 24 July 2017 23:48 /
Beackers675 Say more :
Hey everyone, OP here! So uhm..just for the record I'm not a minor, no CPS needed. As for their religion, I personally do not follow it, but out of love and respect for my parents I let them take care of me, (I'd been away from home for a long time and got sick upon my return) it was a nasty cold, and I was miserable, but I'm fine now. My family doesn't believe in unnecessary medications if the body...
By "Beackers675" - / Tuesday 18 July 2017 09:00 / United States - Minneapolis
asperix Say more :
alright, so i posted this about 5 minutes after he told me at a party. the day after he explained that hes kinda in love with my sister-in-law and thats what drunken him means by incest fetish. i know that she also have feelings for him... not sure wether i should help them or run away.
By "asperix" - / Tuesday 18 July 2017 15:50 /
Loraz Say more :
Hey, so I'm from South Africa. It is general practice with most reputable shelter/rescue centres to inspect property, etc to ensure that there will be no problems resulting in the new owners having to return the animal. We also, unfortunately have a ridiculously high problem with dog fighting. On the up side, I was able to ask for a more experienced inspector to come around and give their opinion....
By Loraz - / Tuesday 18 July 2017 15:31 /
ByteMuch Say more :
OP here. First of all thank you all for your kind support it was nice to see so many positive comments :) He will be involved in our child's life and I agree with all of you who have commented that it's better that this happened now than later and possibly behind my back. We're working things out :)
By bytemuch - / Monday 17 July 2017 15:04 /
blackbird8 Say more :
OP here. Update: my mom asked me to back up her phone again this weekend :O Since she saves everything on her phone she doesn't have enough storage for updates, so I have to back up and clear her phone fairly frequently. This weekend she told me she needed me to back up her phone AGAIN...I politely declined. And then had to explain to her why #AWKWARD. It's not the fact that they're boobs (duh,...
By yepi'mblindnow - / Thursday 13 July 2017 11:48 /
onyinye Say more :
Hi, OP here. Someone called and went like "Can I talk to Mr. N****, please?". At first I thought he meant my husband, but it turned out to be my son. I said "Well, I don't think you can talk to him, he is just six weeks old. So you might want to talk to me instead". Turns out he was the assistant of the specialist I had made an appointment with because of an issue with my son's spine (something went...
By onye - / Tuesday 11 July 2017 01:53 /
phalangesenfuego Say more :
OP here. First off, she's not mentally or emotionally disabled...well, maybe emotionally disturbed, but not disabled. My sister and I are very different, and I try to maintain a relationship with her even though we don't have much in common besides our childhood. She started collecting dolls a few years ago, and it has grown to this. I never quite know what I'm going to walk into during our
By phalanges en fuego - / Thursday 6 July 2017 22:37 /
axon Impulse Say more :
OP, here. To clarify, there honestly was no reason for my dismissal. I did not sign anything, I had absolutely NO disciplinary actions against me, I did very well for the company (my position actually made money), and there was no "glaring personality flaw" (though, for me to insist that, I recognize the irony in not acknowledging my shortcomings, but I also have taken a true, objective stand back...
By axon Impulse - / Thursday 6 July 2017 22:10 /
MommyMerida Say more :
OP here! Here's the full story. I live in Quebec, where we have basically two providers for telecommunication services, plus a few small redistributors. I'd had major issues with one of them in the past (another long story culminating with a phone rep yelling at me about how sometimes it's the customer's fault, admitting it was their fault once they finally listened to what I had to say and then their...
By Cancelling all services in 3, 2, 1... - / Wednesday 5 July 2017 15:57 /
CrazyTrainWreck Say more :
OP here: 1. To the gentleman (or gentlewoman, didn't bother to check) who said I stole her little boy, no that would be girl. So yeah there is that. 2. I don't hate my mother-in-law nor does she hate me. Hell her family treats me better than my own. Now let me get on with the back story: We we're out there (in Texas from Arizona) due to my Mother-in-law getting remarried. We got a call that one of...
By CrazyTrainWreck - / Wednesday 5 July 2017 12:19 /
milksquad Say more :
OP here! Dunno if I'll count as "verified" because I submitted the FML without signing up for an account. But it's all good! I'm actually glad that my bank is so thorough as I've had my debit card stolen before. This time around I was using Venmo which apparently isn't a certified merchant, or something? So they just had me confirm my personal details and it went through. Mainly FML because I was stressed...
By milksquad - / Tuesday 4 July 2017 08:41 / United States
Sonofaquiche Say more :
Hey guy and girls, OP here. As someone mentioned drinking age is different in Germany. Roughly speaking: Beer and Wine at the age of 16, the hard stuff at 18. So don't worry about me being an underage drinker ;) they probably thought so since i had someone over before, when they were gone, but always told them. They're cool with it though. Also i definitely do not have an alcohol problem. Actually...
By Sonofaquiche - / Friday 30 June 2017 22:00 / Germany - Gochsheim
Chronomay Say more :
To be fair my dentist was making sure not to hurt me but still it was a weird sensation.
By ToNumbToSmell - / Friday 30 June 2017 19:43 /
boopingsnoot Say more :
Hey, I made an account to give some details. I have a mild form of EDS, so I get acid reflux and sleep apnea. But this occasion was weird: ate tacos at 6pm, snack and my meds 10pm, and was brushing my teeth at 11pm. With no trace of the cereal I'd just eaten. With no heartburn before or after. But yeah, my dad did season the bajeezus outta those tacos.
By Anonymous - / Friday 30 June 2017 19:28 /
holly_fly Say more :
Hey guys, OP here. Just to explain a little more, he got the position because it's a mechanic one, and he had a bit more experience than me (but only because his dad showed him some basic mechanic skills, and mine didn't... see the problem?) I think part of it also has to do with me being a girl and my parents don't think it's "proper" for a girl to be a mechanic. Anytime I try to talk to them they...
By improudbutreally - / Thursday 29 June 2017 12:21 /
AkaiKitsune Say more :
They're not really my cats, I inherited them from my mother who spoiled them rotten. I'm more of a dog person. Well, I've got three big dogs so that's kinda obvious
By AkaiKitsune - / Monday 26 June 2017 11:11 /
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