CoyoteOldOne Say more :
I am an uncontrolled human. The cat is uncontrolled also. Cat food doesnt smell nice to me, and it was a strong, wet, meaty smell. Dammit, that came out bad too. Maybe i should work at one of those phone sex lines.
By Coyote - / Sunday 10 December 2017 06:45 /
boopingsnoot Say more :
1. I work at a vet 2. I was busy bathing a very fluffy dog 3. I was really thirsty when I got done, that I took a good chug of coffee before the taste difference caught my attention 4. I am somehow an ungrateful hypocrite for being upset and for not being 100% the next day at work ?
By boopingsnoot - / Monday 4 December 2017 19:42 /
two2blue Say more :
OP here. Nope, car was off, car window and garage window both slightly open. She thought sleepimg in the car was "trashy".
By two2blue - / Monday 4 December 2017 19:30 /
Emi N. Jax Say more :
Ok so to everyone saying "why don't you just do automatic payments?" Or "the bill is the same time every month just plan ahead." IVE BEEN TRYING TO FIX THIS SINCE AUGUST! I can't connect my credit card due to the "incorrect zip code" and was trying to call customer service to get that fixed. Thank you -_-
By Anonymous - / Thursday 30 November 2017 10:22 / United States
ShadowReiku Say more :
OP here, didn't expect to actually get published! Backstory, it's a college Intro class that I have to take before I can branch off into the Fiction classes (it's my major with intent to teach Fiction writing myself at university level). My professor has a PhD in Poetry. The first half of the class was poetry, and this last half of the semester is fiction. The problem is she has no interest in seeing...
By Anonymous - / Wednesday 29 November 2017 15:45 /
tipsyone Say more :
OP here: this is not the first time she’s done this! I’ve talked about this two years ago and how I find it incredibly boring to listen to the same songs three months!! Of course the others don’t mind since they’re afraid of conflicts plus I’m the one with the office very close to hers!
By tipsyone - / Tuesday 28 November 2017 18:18 / Sweden - Malm?
Terrenixwitch Say more :
Hey guys! Update, the father gave full custody to my sister and wants nothing to do with them. He is also in jail for not paying child support before signing over full custody. As far as the kids, I'm taking care of them the best I can but it's hard since I also work. I love them to death and wouldn't want to give them up. I wasn't ready to be a temp mom this young. I know she will do awesome in her...
By #agirlcandream - / Monday 27 November 2017 15:09 / United States - Pearl
dannydane Say more :
Take this in. You ready for this? A meme page. Memes. A guy just so happened to run it.
By dannydane - / Monday 27 November 2017 21:45 /
Stella5127 Say more :
or all those people doubting my story! this ACTUALLY happened in july of 2016. I now have a boy named Nate. I kept my pills in a pill holder in the fridge with 'mon tue wed' on it. my friends daughter would come over every night after school to look after our oldest daughter, Tilly, after kindergarten while my husband and I would finish work. She had ample opportunity and being a busy teacher id just...
By Stella5127 - / Tuesday 28 November 2017 05:01 / Australia - Melbourne
Caitlin Mcloughlin Say more :
Hey guys, OP here! I have no idea how this login system works so I think I ended up creating a new profile. Anyway, for now I'm better, thank you so much for your support! As for a more permanent solution, fortunately I'm moving out next year to go to college, and so I'll be able to sort myself out with medication then. I'm honestly super surprised that my FML ended up published - thanks again for...
By No pain no gain - / Thursday 23 November 2017 05:44 /
Achicken123 Say more :
I have no clue what happened, she was so young and one day she just stopped doing cat things. None of the vets we went to could find anything. At least she passed in her sleep while somewhere she loved.
By Bird - / Tuesday 21 November 2017 21:54 /
ChasingShadows67 Say more :
OP here -- I'm a straight A student with a 4.0 GPA. I have my tuition paid for at the college of my dreams. My parents were extremely strict, so skipping class was never an option -- unless I was practically dying, I was going. So yeah, skipping a class was on my bucket list. As you can tell, it didn't work out so well.
By ChasingShadows67 - / Monday 20 November 2017 15:48 / United States - Ypsilanti
Nonethnx Say more :
Hi guys, this is OP :) I've come back to give a little update about my life since this FML was posted. So, I wrote this when I was 14 years old, and I am now 17. I have always wanted to have a career helping people. That ideology has never left me, and probably never will. In the past three years, I have partaken in discussions and done my own research, and I have come to the conclusion that religion...
By Anonymous - / Monday 20 November 2017 21:03 / New Zealand - Christchurch
azouwa Say more :
She is also a trustee. There are 4 trustees. My 2 bros, my mom, and me. The govt can, and probably will, will go after all 4 of us. My bros and I will discuss it with the lawyer that helped us set the trust account up and have my mother removed.
By azouwa - / Tuesday 14 November 2017 19:14 /
Stella5127 Say more :
They gave me a baggy of this eyebrow pomade was black, I have blonde hair. ??
By Stella5127 - / Monday 13 November 2017 23:54 /
hadtomakeausername Say more :

OP here (I didn't hook my email when I orginally submitted)

To clarify, my aunt and uncle were married with kids before they became step-sister and brother. My grandmother died (my uncle's mother), and coincidentially my aunt's mother had been widowed for some time. My grandfather (my uncle's father) married my aunt's mother. I just still think it is hella weird, but we just joke about it...

By alwaysalabama - / Monday 13 November 2017 23:33 /
taintedtruffle Say more :
He has plenty of cat toys and two siblings so I doubt he is bored. And no his name is Bananas because he's so crazy. I will encourage her to play with him more- he loves the wand toys . Thanks for the suggestions.
By Truffle - / Sunday 12 November 2017 17:22 / United States - Waldorf
feytensn Say more :
OP here! I did follow store policy. People could not go to our restroom. That’s because the restroom is inside the stock, next to our safe. We could not keep an eye on them, so it is possible that they could steal from us. Althought we would never refuse a child or a pregnant woman. This lady took of her pants and underpants. When she left the fitting room, she acted like nothing happend. We did give...
By - / Wednesday 8 November 2017 21:57 / Belgium - Wilsele
Adam Daniel Say more :
It just had said “so and so replied to your Tweet” so I hit it and it was spoilers
By Adam Daniel - / Monday 6 November 2017 19:19 /
TeachAllTheMath Say more :
OP here, two years later I am still working at the same school (in my beloved hoodies). The principal that told me this was not renewed for the following year, so luckily our head of school valued competent teachers over well dressed ones. I work at a charter school who encourages teachers to dress comfortably so we can go outside to play soccer, or get on the floor to do small groups, and I was...
By schoolsucks / Saturday 4 November 2017 14:45 / United States - Aurora
missunknowno9 Say more :
1. Because I wasn't cutting my night short, because we have children and we finally had a babysitter for once. So I was enjoying my night. 2. I chose "Bae," because that's generally what someone puts in their phone as their significant other... ?
By "missunknowno9" - / Saturday 4 November 2017 06:46 /
poopoobear Say more :
OP here. So yeah, it was a cheap sample and they said they needed my credit card information to make sure I only got one. Also, I followed a people website article that said the star of the show flip or flop worked on it. Well that turned out to be a fake version of the website, and the woman is suing the company. Anyway, I told my bank and they've settled it now. I felt bad for the woman crying,...
By idiot - / Saturday 4 November 2017 06:09 /
tragic1992 Say more :
Still stuck here. It’s all inclusive so at least we won’t starve. He hasn’t been off his phone the whole time messaging her. No fucks given on his part !!! Meanwhile I’m falling apart! FML
By sendhelp - / Sunday 29 October 2017 00:56 /
ev_lyn_aw Say more :
OP here. You're exactly right. We've lived together this entire time, and honestly, it doesn't come up very often. He's only met my family once, and the parents have different last names now. So it's pretty comical really. Thank you all for your thoughts! that was fun to share.
By "ev_lyn_aw" - / Friday 27 October 2017 17:49 /
DanielleinDC Say more :
To add context: You enter through a street-level foyer of sorts, and you can take an elevator or the stairs to get to the shopping area. So the first time, I slipped on some water at the top of those stairs. The second time, I was walking through the produce section and slipped on a grape on the floor. I gotta say, I'm a bit surprised and pleased to finally have one published. And, no, I wasn't...
By DanielleinDC - / Friday 27 October 2017 04:53 / United States - Washington
beybmoo Say more :
Wow this is my first FML that got published! Thanks for giving it a chance! I saw a few of you said I might have jumped the gun on this one. I might have but not before considering that there aren't any other position to be promoted to. It's a tiny company of 5. And there weren't anymore room or budget or busy enough for an additional staff. I had 2 managers & I didn't get along with 1 of them,...
By beybmoo - / Wednesday 25 October 2017 08:48 / Singapore - Singapore
pocahauntas91 Say more :
Hi, OP here. Morning sickness can be all the way up through the end of pregnancy. In my case, my husband is a very sound sleeper and hates puke more than I do, and he works nights so I didn't want to wake him up. Luckily this isn't an every day issue but it's been enough that I can't wait for this tapeworm to come out so the sick feeling stops lol
By pocahauntas91 - / Saturday 21 October 2017 13:00 / United States - Redondo
Ghost563412 Say more :
OP here. To address some confusion: I don't sleep in the same bed (or room, for that matter) because I apparently snore like a rusty chainsaw. We moved into our new place a year ago with an old beat up bed, she ordered a new bed while I was out of state working 4 months ago now. To further clarify, I've napped in the bed once, and we do use it for purposes other than sleeping. However, she has to...
By MarriedSingleGuy - / Monday 16 October 2017 19:16 /
cravingdeath Say more :
FYI I never found out who said it because it was in a group but the band got lectured the day after about being s team and helping each other even though I didn’t say anything so happy ending I guess???
By cravingdeath - / Friday 13 October 2017 22:53 /
73012211 Say more :
Hey guys! OP here. So, I am still not totally sure about the exact content of the conversation, but basically, my grandmother comes on very strong, and has some very strong opinions. She enjoys telling other people what to do, and can often come across as being rude, even though she means well. Apparently, Grandma was telling my future MIL that she (my MIL) was going about things the wrong way,...
By - / Friday 13 October 2017 16:01 /
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