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Only FMLs I didn't vote on | All the FMLs

Today, I spent an hour deleting 70 of my status posts from the past week so I don't look so addicted to Facebook. Damn, I need a life. FML

#15087427
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8845) - you deserved it (36764)

On 02/23/2011 at 3:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML

#5423695
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37807) - you deserved it (3944)

On 09/23/2009 at 4:14am - love - by garrett (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I learned if you dream you're having a piss, you most likely are having a piss. FML

#18163240
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38796) - you deserved it (5257)

On 11/05/2011 at 9:43am - health - by rj93 - United Kingdom (Ballymena)

Today, I kept restarting my internet, wondering why I wasn't receiving any messages from my friends. Then I realized they were all ignoring me. FML

#5989620
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24755) - you deserved it (7968)

On 10/25/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by Happyforeverx (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my partner walked in the room wearing a sweater from my wardrobe, making jokes about it and saying how ugly it was. That sweater was the last thing my father wore before he passed away. FML

Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML

#13645205
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38809) - you deserved it (10589)

On 10/30/2010 at 1:07am - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, I had been working at the checkout for over 5 hours. Slighty tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink, he smiled and winked back. When I finished work 2 hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML

#5017787
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46558) - you deserved it (3631)

On 09/03/2009 at 9:27am - work - by Pop_Pies (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend for taking me for granted and being such a jerk. He didn't even show up for our date. FML

#8965394
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28085) - you deserved it (4426)

On 03/10/2010 at 3:00am - love - by Maddy (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, while taking a shower, I was enthusiastically singing one of my favorite songs. When I got out, I noticed a bunch of things missing, and a note on my desk saying "shut the f*ck up, you suck." I was robbed and judged by a thief. FML

#14190731
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31188) - you deserved it (3688)

On 12/13/2010 at 1:10pm - misc - by Username - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML

#1374
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21389) - you deserved it (2108)

On 01/16/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Noname - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to a scream downstairs. My 13 year-old daughter was trying to bite her little brother's neck. No matter how hard I try, she will not believe that she is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a vampire. FML

#17162129
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38019) - you deserved it (5688)

On 07/18/2011 at 11:17am - kids - by xBubbles38 - United States

Today, thanks to my wife's confession, I found out that the 14 year old child I've raised since I was 16 isn't related to me at all. But at least this narrows the real father down to one of three other guys. FML

#17589852
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39461) - you deserved it (3770)

On 08/26/2011 at 10:10pm - kids - by candie - United States (Texas)

Today, after years of thinking I was weird for never being attracted to anyone, I realized that for the first time in my life I actually have a crush on someone. That 'someone' is my English teacher. He is 60. I am 18. FML

#9127097
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27622) - you deserved it (11821)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:27am - misc - by allwrong (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I discovered my employer is advertising for a contractor position within my team performing basically the same role as myself. Except the pay is seven times more. FML

#8815543
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20127) - you deserved it (1634)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:30am - work - by YankeeDoodle (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband told me that occasionally I pick my nose while I sleep. I didn't believe him so he showed me the video he took of it. He wants to post it on Facebook. FML

#19995801
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20637) - you deserved it (2784)

On 08/01/2012 at 1:44am - misc - by Emily (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

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