Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Display options

Only FMLs I didn't vote on | All the FMLs

Today, I got called to the guidance office, only to be told my boyfriend broke up with me. He wasn't sure how to break the news to me, so he made my guidance counselor do it for him. FML

#21277708
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42911) - you deserved it (3197)

On 10/14/2014 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I returned to work after a much-needed vacation. I got a lot of weird stares from my co-workers, and my boss eventually came over and told me to go home. Why? My work week starts tomorrow, not today. FML

#20822133
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40601) - you deserved it (9962)

On 08/05/2013 at 2:09pm - work - by Fuckup (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sitting in the airport, watching the baggage handlers load the plane I was about to get on. They were being really rough with it, one bag came open and all the clothes spilled out onto the tarmac. The clothes looked familiar. They were mine. FML

#21378005
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30508) - you deserved it (2050)

On 03/19/2015 at 8:54pm - misc - by Hm (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I woke up from an amazing dream. I dreamt that I got a promotion at work and doubled my income, the dream was so great that I tried so hard not to wake up. When I did wake up it was 10 o'clock, two hours late for work I noticed I had a voicemail from my boss. I was fired for being late. FML

#7005842
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13100) - you deserved it (29752)

On 12/29/2009 at 1:01am - work - by mylifesucks22 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML

#14242340
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21234) - you deserved it (85451)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had a hour long conversation with someone I apparently was friends with a few years ago. I couldn't remember who he was for the life of me, so I just played along. Finally, I told him I didn't remember him. He had the wrong number. I had a long conversation with a wrong number. FML

#1833844
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15208) - you deserved it (47881)

On 05/11/2009 at 12:46am - misc - by lostintellct (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, on a plane I was showing my brother the life jackets kept under the seat. After pulling on what I thought was the lifejacket, I then realized that they were kept in the arm rest to my right and for the last five minutes I had been pulling on the foot of the man who was sitting behind me. FML

#4826792
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9840) - you deserved it (38561)

On 08/26/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife and I convened our families for a joint dinner, followed by me breaking the news that my wife is pregnant. My father visibly scoffed, and my grandfather spent the rest of the evening muttering to him about how "breeders should be shot". Wonderful. FML

#19704356
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21133) - you deserved it (2107)

On 05/30/2012 at 12:45pm - kids - by unzucht (man) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend, because he's too manipulative. By the time our chat ended, instead of being single, I'm somehow now committed to going on vacation with him and his family. FML

#21216217
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47459) - you deserved it (15082)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:58am - love - by whatjusthappened - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20660668
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39875) - you deserved it (3964)

On 05/13/2013 at 12:01pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother not only told me that my ex-husband will be spending Thanksgiving with her and my dad, but that I'm also no longer invited to spend the holiday with my family. FML

#20950805
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49919) - you deserved it (4127)

On 11/08/2013 at 9:54pm - misc - by zoe777 (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

#19820234
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24355) - you deserved it (3088)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML

#21025169
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51069) - you deserved it (4720)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:26am - love - by spitball101 - Australia

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML

#21369803
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118) - you deserved it (4933)

On 03/07/2015 at 7:14am - animals - by farksh (woman) - Australia

Today, I gave a presentation about how teachers don't intervene enough when students are being bullied. Afterwards, I was practically bullied by my teacher for "not choosing a serious topic." FML

#20647729
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49985) - you deserved it (5612)

On 05/07/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by hopelesscollegechick - United States (Alabama)

Refresh this page here to get more FMLs!



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: