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Today, I found out that I've been using a "Trick Scale" that my family bought to boost my self esteem so I'd think I was losing weight. I found this out at my physical, where I learned I have actually gained ten pounds. FML

#18631764
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26307) - you deserved it (4220)

On 12/28/2011 at 2:57am - health - by Fatty - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML

#7525813
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12717) - you deserved it (18454)

On 01/23/2010 at 6:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the orthodontist. The lady took a break and went to use the restroom. Apparently she didn't bother to take her gloves off, and they smelled like straight up pee. She had her hands in my mouth for over an hour. FML

#18316654
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42412) - you deserved it (7784)

On 11/22/2011 at 1:06pm - health - by Bob - United States (Texas)

Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML

#5325654
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18170) - you deserved it (45272)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:29am - animals - by Poowee (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I've gotten the most calls of my life. Turns out the idiot who changed the sign on my local pizza hut put up the wrong phone number. My phone number. I've already received 16 calls. FML

#17568217
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25334) - you deserved it (2287)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:14pm - misc - by Marty - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML

#3661940
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43982) - you deserved it (5903)

On 07/11/2009 at 5:10am - work - by grannysmack (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, to punish me for being hungover, my roommate blasted the bagpipe version of "Amazing Grace" through his stereo. FML

#15128708
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12781) - you deserved it (32211)

On 02/26/2011 at 5:59pm - misc - by jm_track - United States (Montana)

Today, I discovered out of the 20 job applications only one job called me for an interview. They told me to leave after two sentences. FML

#14954069
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24665) - you deserved it (7808)

On 02/13/2011 at 12:31am - work - by jobless - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I got a picture message from my aunt that said, "9 out of 10 kids get their awesomeness from their aunt." Normally, I would have agreed, except she forgot my birthday yesterday. FML

#20677224
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36541) - you deserved it (2989)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, while I was on the bus to work, a morbidly obese man sat down next to me. When my stop came and I stood up to get off, he just looked at me, said with a smirk, "good luck with that," and went back to reading his paper. I missed my stop. FML

#19326564
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28118) - you deserved it (2437)

On 03/22/2012 at 2:00pm - misc - by busfail - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well. She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time. I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween for the rest of the year. FML

#20103809
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13129) - you deserved it (1934)

On 10/06/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Joey - United States (Nevada)

Today, I texted a friend offering my condolences over the death of his grandfather. He hadn't been told his grandfather had died yet. FML

#18569083
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30784) - you deserved it (3982)

On 12/21/2011 at 9:40am - misc - by cmolloy - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I reached behind my couch to plug my phone charger in. My arm got stuck and I had to wait for my roommate to get home to help me. FML

#19746396
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9293) - you deserved it (14498)

On 06/06/2012 at 8:50pm - misc - by jenny2989 - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

#18342108
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28983) - you deserved it (2482)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States

Today, tired of everyone forgetting my birthday, I traveled half way around the world to spend my 40th at a five star resort just to try and make it special. The hotel brought me a cake with someone else's name on it. FML

#20861368
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47051) - you deserved it (3831)

On 08/31/2013 at 4:16am - misc - by nevercatchabreak - United States (Pennsylvania)

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