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Only FMLs I didn't vote on | All the FMLs

Today, my step-mom yelled at me for an hour, calling me a slut because our male dog saw me naked. FML

Today, I returned a friends jacket after borrowing it. I made sure to wash it and keep it clean. When he went to put it on, a pair of my granny panties fell out of the sleeve. FML

#13388494
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24906) - you deserved it (7118)

On 10/10/2010 at 2:54am - misc - by ewwy - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I tore up my airborne academy admission documents because my lab results weren't good enough. A few hours later, they called me to apologize for the misunderstanding, mine turned out to be perfect and they'd accepted me. They need me tomorrow with all the documents to finalize the admission. FML

#16263514
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15414) - you deserved it (37361)

On 05/20/2011 at 3:46am - work - by SkyDiver -

Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML

#20890943
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37839) - you deserved it (9984)

On 09/22/2013 at 12:26am - work - by not_fakingit - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I got stuck in my apartment's garbage chute. FML

#8492121
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9748) - you deserved it (27876)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:53pm - misc - by AwwChute (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML

#16762129
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27644) - you deserved it (2958)

On 06/20/2011 at 12:12pm - health - by Tequila (man) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, my boyfriend didn't come home from a night of drinking with the boys again, so I told him that I was packing my things and I wouldn't be here when he came home. After all my things were packed, I realized he drove my car to the bar. FML

#4651685
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38444) - you deserved it (8298)

On 08/19/2009 at 8:11am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided I would call in sick to work after working 60 hours the week before just so I could have a day off... My body responded this morning with vomiting and diarrhea so I had to call in sick and didn't get to have much fun... Karma 1 Me 0. FML

#5395171
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32534) - you deserved it (10500)

On 09/21/2009 at 3:50pm - work - by sick (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML

#17884262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32462) - you deserved it (3117)

On 10/02/2011 at 2:36am - misc - by Emmy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in a work meeting because our clientele is unhappy with our service. I was in there because I don't correct our customers when they get my name wrong. My name is Blane, but "Blair", "Blake", "Lane", and "Glenn" got rave reviews. No one picked up on this. I hate my job. FML

#5840446
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26055) - you deserved it (3916)

On 10/15/2009 at 8:33am - work - by Blanerd (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was docked and fined in my dorm building because of multiple noise complaints. What was I doing that was so noisy? I slipped in the shower and banged my head against the floor. Then when I reached for the towel rack to pull myself up, it broke and I slammed my wrist onto the ground. FML

#8329398
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25838) - you deserved it (2306)

On 02/16/2010 at 2:26am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31678) - you deserved it (2669)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

#20106895
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24474) - you deserved it (4405)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML

#21195314
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36330) - you deserved it (3260)

On 07/01/2014 at 5:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML

#4525349
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38181) - you deserved it (5804)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm - work - by dumblond (woman) - United States (Maine)

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