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Only FMLs I didn't vote on | All the FMLs

Today, I found out that I will be spending my spring break alone because my family is going to France. I can't go with them nor go with any of my friends because I have to take care of the cat. FML

#9149422
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32882) - you deserved it (3661)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:18am - animals - by LG (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mum yelled at me for wanting to apply to university courses that she doesn't approve of. I'm applying for Biomedical Sciences and Microbiology, she's an unemployed Jehovah's Witness. FML

#17634820
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34031) - you deserved it (2568)

On 09/01/2011 at 10:40am - work - by WhatTheFaf (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my mom and I were watching this movie in which some girls start making out. My mother calls them "sinners" and that they will "burn in hell twice". Then she says "God doesn't like gays". I'm a lesbian. I picked out this movie as a way of coming out. FML

#1734899
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97221) - you deserved it (15407)

On 05/07/2009 at 9:39pm - love - by HidenSeek (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was driving in the car with my boyfriend and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Nothing to complain about when your boyfriend likes to touch you, right? Except when he keeps smacking your jiggly thighs to watch the ripples and 'tenderize the pork chops'. FML

#6971374
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30621) - you deserved it (7084)

On 12/27/2009 at 9:19am - love - by porkythighs (woman) - Singapore

Today, my girlfriend came over to me, like she was going to kiss me, and instead rubbed her chin all over my face, exclaiming, "Can you feel my beard coming in?" Yes, yes I could. FML

#13570264
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36447) - you deserved it (3684)

On 10/24/2010 at 12:11am - love - by altocrm - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got diagnosed with stomach ulcers. They are very painful, and I have been throwing up blood. On my latest trip to the toilet, I was heaving and the pain was making me beat the floor with my fist, the toilet lid decided to come crashing down on my head, giving me a minor concussion. FML

#6397503
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30902) - you deserved it (3380)

On 11/21/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was checking out my boyfriend's facebook profile. I saw that he had just taken the "How long will it take for your girldriend to realize you're cheating on her?" Quiz. FML

#4034087
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49108) - you deserved it (5205)

On 07/25/2009 at 5:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my six year old daughter discovered the family's pet rabbit in the basement freezer. The rabbit had died almost a year ago, and we'd stored it in the freezer, intending to bury it later. Here's to the trauma of losing the family pet. Twice. FML

#13815438
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6776) - you deserved it (38758)

On 11/12/2010 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the only card I got for Valentine's Day was in my mother's handwriting, and she posted it through the front door herself. She still won't admit it's from her. FML

#19072071
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20350) - you deserved it (2319)

On 02/14/2012 at 6:56am - love - by ThanksMum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML

#20140639
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25123) - you deserved it (1931)

On 10/30/2012 at 7:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was out shopping, my pants decided that they just didn't have enough holes in them, and ripped a new one in the crotch. FML

#18864007
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19793) - you deserved it (4858)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - France

Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML

#19942968
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23756) - you deserved it (1791)

On 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by klanciee - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to break up with her. It was a hard decision and both of us became quite emotionally overwhelmed at the time. We began to hug as a final goodbye, then her mum burst in the room and yelled, "HE FINALLY PROPOSED!" FML

#19725965
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36385) - you deserved it (3365)

On 06/03/2012 at 10:21am - love - by Matt - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35142) - you deserved it (4479)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML

#14423827
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23255) - you deserved it (3623)

On 01/01/2011 at 10:37am - health - by cauteriseme (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

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