Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Display options

Only FMLs I didn't vote on | All the FMLs

Today, it was our class field trip. I got five dollars from ten different people because they wanted me to sit away from them. FML

#18968842
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26972) - you deserved it (4405)

On 02/01/2012 at 1:53pm - misc - by Arniii - United States

Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML

#2442070
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50617) - you deserved it (7556)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by satanlovesme (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my sister and I had a huge fight because I flushed the toilet while she was taking a bath. The faucet for the bath was not running, but she insisted that she felt the water in the tub turn "scalding hot." She won't listen when I try to explain to her that it doesn't work like that. FML

#19972921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25528) - you deserved it (1725)

On 07/22/2012 at 2:54am - misc - by Raaaaage - United States (California)

Today, while looking through my wedding photos, I realised my wife had done a duck face in every single one. FML

#19496136
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37882) - you deserved it (5762)

On 04/19/2012 at 3:46pm - love - by caaarl (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I got my phone fixed and the lady who was working on it somehow resent all the old text messages in my outbox. One was to my ex saying "I love you." FML

#14725395
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28624) - you deserved it (3665)

On 01/26/2011 at 9:53pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML

#3971516
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51025) - you deserved it (3917)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:10am - kids - by bbbkingsey (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw my favourite shirt on the floor of my dorm's bathroom. Feeling too lazy to bend down, I used my feet to "flick" the shirt up. Apparently, some drunkard took a dump on the floor and used my shirt to cover it up. I now have shit all over my feet, hands and the wall in front of me. FML

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

#20942539
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45121) - you deserved it (5172)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML

#20194994
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27487) - you deserved it (16106)

On 12/07/2012 at 10:30am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

#17786213
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29419) - you deserved it (4659)

On 09/20/2011 at 3:24am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

#20848780
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52661) - you deserved it (3830)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:40am - love - by Embarrassed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after pulling an all-nighter for my Bio final at 8AM and drinking 6 sodas, 3 energy drinks, and coffee throughout the night, an hour into the exam, I had to go to the restroom, so I get permission and go. I'm 1 of 3 people. They later find a cheat sheet in the restroom. Now I'm a suspect. FML

#6716496
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27188) - you deserved it (3740)

On 12/12/2009 at 12:00am - misc - by fuckbio (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was interviewing a cute guy for my journalism class, and he asked to borrow my laptop to check his email quickly. After the interview, I realized that the last thing I had searched for on my browser's Google box was "ingrown pubic hairs," and it was still up there. FML

#115661
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17611) - you deserved it (32534)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:50pm - misc - by loserface (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML

#20404037
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30675) - you deserved it (7998)

On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States

Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML

#20632227
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39245) - you deserved it (8390)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:50am - love - by Porter_Robinson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Refresh this page here to get more FMLs!



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: