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Only FMLs I didn't vote on | All the FMLs

Today, I went outside a friend's house to find that my car had been saran wrapped. I cleaned it up and went back inside the house. An hour later, I heard a doorbell ring so I went outside the house. They saran wrapped my car again. FML

#3017259
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42851) - you deserved it (5447)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by bear92 - United States (Virginia)

Today, while cuddling, my boyfriend excused himself to get a napkin. When he came back, he nervously admitted he'd got a booger in my hair. He then couldn't get it completely out. FML

#18628918
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24744) - you deserved it (2418)

On 12/27/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dad was supposed to come see me for our twice-a-year visit. He was 3 hours late. So I called, and asked him why he was late - he said 'Oh, something came up'. I asked him what was so important. Apparently, the garage needed cleaning. FML

#5874542
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29027) - you deserved it (1889)

On 10/18/2009 at 1:03am - misc - by karina17 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at a hard rock concert, a bunch of guys accidentally knocked down a port-a-potty while moshing. I was inside that port-a-potty. FML

#231694
162 comments

Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said "Yeah, yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML

#19841919
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21529) - you deserved it (5325)

On 06/24/2012 at 11:03pm - love - by Richard (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in line for Star Trek and chatting with another couple about a guy who came to the movie wearing a Starfleet uniform. We were having a good snicker about this "Geek" until my cell phone rang. My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator. FML

#1869680
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7175) - you deserved it (78687)

On 05/12/2009 at 10:11am - misc - by Ottawa (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I threw out my back while trying to put together my new ergonomic chair, which was supposed to help my bad back. FML

Today, I found out that two kids were able to, without much effort, convince my 16-year-old daughter that her friend's house was used to smuggle out Jews during WWII. His house was built in 2007. We also live in America. FML

#20033419
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23670) - you deserved it (2958)

On 08/21/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States

Today, in Chem, I was chosen to hold the fire extinguisher just in case something happened while showing how to blow up a dangerous chemical. My teacher told me to spray if anything got out of control. He lit the fire and I freaked out and sprayed it. The entire wing of my school was evacuted. FML

#5131890
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9446) - you deserved it (41481)

On 09/08/2009 at 6:10pm - misc - by firefighter (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother told my 3 year old son that cool kids call their parents by their real names. This wouldn't be half as bad if he hadn't also convinced my son that my real name was Satan. FML

#21247749
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40632) - you deserved it (3832)

On 08/29/2014 at 8:35am - kids - by Amithatevil - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, a customer threatened to come back later and shoot the whole place up. Why? I didn't give him a discount on his beer. My boss's reaction when I called the police: "Why didn't you give him the discount?!" Last week he bitched me out for letting a girl off for being a few cents short on hers. FML

#20983086
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41513) - you deserved it (2973)

On 12/06/2013 at 6:37pm - work - by eat my fucking ass, boss (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

#20665284
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63591) - you deserved it (4146)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I decided to check out my school's quarterback's Twitter, since we have a class together. He wrote, "Dear girl in front of me, I thought you were pretty until you turned around." It was funny, until I realized the timestamp was when we have class together, and I sit in front of him. FML

#5186777
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36800) - you deserved it (4381)

On 09/11/2009 at 1:05pm - misc - by thatgirl247 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

#19059341
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38377) - you deserved it (2822)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:18pm - kids - by amythest - United Kingdom (Belfast)

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