Only FMLs I didn't vote on | All the FMLs
Today, I was having lunch at a cafe. There was an attractive guy looking at me from another table. I smiled back and gave a little wink. A minute later he approached me. I introduced myself and asked if he wanted my number. He said, "Um, no but what are you eating? It looks really good" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38645) - you deserved it (15761)
On 03/28/2009 at 10:14pm - misc - by Samantha (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he stopped brushing his teeth two days after we started dating. Tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35979) - you deserved it (6256)
On 06/28/2011 at 3:32am - health - by disgustedgf - United States
Today, I learned that my apartment building has two new tenants: my ex-girlfriend and her fiancé, the guy she cheated on me with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32121) - you deserved it (2188)
On 05/07/2011 at 7:54am - love - by bigcityfail (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I learned that my "cash back rewards" for credit card purchases are mailed with the monthly statement. The same monthly statement that goes straight into the shredder or fireplace because I prefer to do my banking online. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5129) - you deserved it (25108)
On 02/04/2012 at 9:51pm - money - by twiggy24 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, at my school, the student council is trying to raise $5000 for Haiti. They are doing so by playing the song from High School Musical in the hallways and cafeteria everyday until they get the money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31864) - you deserved it (3034)
On 01/27/2010 at 12:07am - misc - by evil - United States (South Carolina)
Today, we had a fire drill in my dorm, and I live on the 7th floor of my building. They shut the elevators down and I had to walk down 14 flights of steps. I shattered my kneecap last week. They turned the alarm off when I got to the first floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22527) - you deserved it (1151)
On 10/13/2009 at 10:31pm - misc - by stepknee (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boss asked me if I could work on Valentine's Day because there was no chance of me having a date. She's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26755) - you deserved it (2512)
Today, at my girlfriend's place I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was "uggg I have to clean all this up". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33656) - you deserved it (3614)
On 09/07/2009 at 2:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy starts talking to me, then suddenly loses interest. Afterwards, I see the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6069) - you deserved it (14534)
On 12/31/2009 at 12:02am - misc - by lame (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33503) - you deserved it (3656)
On 05/24/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by unwilling redneck - United States
Today, I found some .pdf files on my wife's computer. They were forms that had been filled out except for the date and the "reason" section. They were divorce papers. When confronted about it she said, "Well, if you piss me off really bad, I want to write down why before I calm down." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30711) - you deserved it (2761)
On 08/31/2009 at 2:10pm - love - by UNmarried (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my crew was called out to do some house maintenance. We were nearly done, when someone had the goddamned fucking brilliant idea of washing plaster off their hands in the kitchen sink, which clogged the pipes. Instead of getting paid, we now owe for damages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36048) - you deserved it (4289)
On 04/20/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (44198) - you deserved it (5761)
On 05/30/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by satanlovesme (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend, who held me and promised it'd be all right, and he'd never leave me. One sandwich later, he'd forgotten about the whole thing, and dumped me when I reminded him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29837) - you deserved it (4070)
On 10/06/2010 at 3:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I tried to hint to my husband that we needed a new washing machine. I mentioned that we got our current one way back on our wedding day. He replied, "Yeah, and I got you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20781) - you deserved it (6538) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Monday 17 June 2013
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