FML - The follow-up
senordonkeydildo Say more :
Wow! I can't believe this got posted so fast. I only posted it like 3 days ago. Let me just inform you all that I made it out, SAFE and with UNBROKEN doors. I texted a buddy of mine and he came and got me out, but not before making me listen to him tell me a plethora of gay jokes. It was worth it though because after I came out of the closet (ha ha) we had some beers and played video games for a few...
By "senordonkeydildo" - / Sunday 23 April 2017 00:06 / United States - Center Conway
FML - The follow-up

Today, my new roommate moved in. One of the first conversations we had began with her asking where I wanted her to put my menstrual cup, which I had absentmindedly left in the bathroom sink. FML

attak_fml Say more :
Hey guys! OP here. First of all: yay, one of my submissions finally made it! So, to clear some things up: 1. The fml is obviously about me being embarrassed to death that this happened. I wanted to make a good first impression and I was so nervous and I forgot to put the cup away. It's defiantly not about me thinking she made an unreasonable request or anything. 2. The cup was emptied and thoroughly...
By katinka - / Friday 21 April 2017 12:47 /
FML - The follow-up

Today, while eating in a Mexican restaurant, I asked the waitperson how the drink my husband ordered was pronounced in Spanish. She replied, "Vodka Martini." FML

Exaspera Say more :
OP here. What a surprise, my first published FML! Being a Mexican restaurant, all of the employees there were Mexican. I try to keep up on my Spanish and wanted to know the translation. This one turned out to be rather easy to remember. Cheers!
By Languages - / Wednesday 19 April 2017 13:57 / United States - Irving
FML - The follow-up
cydia123 Say more :
Hey guys OP here and FINALLY got an fml published! Phoned them again yesterday at a more appropriate time and they just told me due to high emergency volume to phone tomorrow (as in today). If they don't cancel it today, I will go ape shit as they're still billing me :) thanks everyone!
By cydia123 - / Wednesday 19 April 2017 16:38 / United Kingdom - Chesterfield
By Just Awkward - / Wednesday 19 April 2017 12:01 /
By whywasitthere - / Monday 17 April 2017 21:13 / United States - New Braunfels
FML - The follow-up

Today, I found out my parents never naturalized me. I'm adopted from a country I've never been to, and now I could be deported there. FML

William Sever Say more :
To clarify, I was born in a foreign country and adopted at less than a month old. My parents are both US citizens. I was never naturalized.
By MWSL01 - / Wednesday 12 April 2017 13:00 / United States - Duluth
By cookyourowndamndinner - / Thursday 13 April 2017 13:45 / New Zealand - Hamilton
By MartianTom - / Monday 10 April 2017 14:17 / United States - Evanston
FML - The follow-up
chanmeister Say more :
OP here, and it seems like I didn't mention I'm a guy. Before you ask, no I'm not gay.
By chanmeister - / Saturday 8 April 2017 06:50 /
FML - The follow-up

Today, my hockey gear is in Jacksonville, Florida. Too bad my game in three hours is in Dallas, Texas. FML

EvanB60 Say more :
OP here, I live in Maryland and had to fly to Dallas for my hockey tournament. Although my stick showed up at the right airport, my bag containing my gear was somehow flown to Jacksonville instead of Dallas.
By Tendy - / Thursday 6 April 2017 08:46 /
By newcomer - / Thursday 6 April 2017 13:18 / Canada - Kingston
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