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Today, my parents are freaking at me because I just got my report and I failed my first year of college. They told me they have never been more disappointed in me. I have to tell them that I'm also pregnant. FML

#3800582
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21774) - you deserved it (93742)

On 07/16/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by failure - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I had a conference with my dad, my counselor, and my history and English teachers because my dad was "concerned" about my grades in those two classes. We talked for a while and it was going well, then my counselor asked what I wanted to study in college. I said I wanted to be a teacher. He laughed. FML

#13042004
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21772) - you deserved it (4200)

On 09/13/2010 at 10:56pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was conducting interviews and I could tell this particular candidate was really nervous, so I was extra nice. At the end, he was reluctant to shake my hand. On the way out I realised why: I had lost the top button on my low cut top, and he was nursing his appreciation of the view. FML

#13153381
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21771) - you deserved it (7604)

On 09/22/2010 at 4:49am - work - by pizzacat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML

#20037445
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21768) - you deserved it (1626)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21767) - you deserved it (11917)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I told my mom I was going out to hang out with some friends. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "Don't lie to me." FML

#19687214
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21770) - you deserved it (2293)

On 05/27/2012 at 4:00am - misc - by cloudberry - United States (New York)

Today, one of my work colleagues was staring at my severe sunburn. She wanted to know if she could "peel" me, when my sunburn becomes "ripe", because she loves the sound. She won't take no for an answer, and I work with her everyday this week. FML

#20194217
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21765) - you deserved it (1643)

On 12/06/2012 at 7:19pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at a party, chatting up this guy while we were petting my friends dog. The dog had just been outside and was kinda wet, I assumed it was raining out. Just then someone came up and said "Um, that dog's covered in pee." Apparently someone peed off the deck onto the dog as it walked by. FML

#7093721
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21764) - you deserved it (2496)

On 01/01/2010 at 11:40pm - animals - by ninjapup (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a super short pixie cut. All my boyfriend could do was stare at me, speechless. I thought he was taken aback by how cute it was until he told me that I look exactly like my fifteen year old brother. FML

#15266054
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21764) - you deserved it (19517)

On 03/10/2011 at 7:51pm - misc - by shia -

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

#20902037
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21763) - you deserved it (38843)

On 09/30/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML

#19271191
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21761) - you deserved it (2520)

On 03/13/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Samantha - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my pregnant wife broke down in tears over the fact that since moving to Brazil for my job, we don't have regular access to macaroni and cheese. FML

#20032360
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21764) - you deserved it (5562)

On 08/20/2012 at 6:06pm - health - by stupidbullcrêpe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, my 15-year-old son begged me to pre-order the next season of My Little Pony. FML

#20002664
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21758) - you deserved it (6394)

On 08/04/2012 at 7:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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